Lately, I've just been feeling like shit. I've been feeling sick from nerves all the time and like vomiting, my vision's been blurry and I've had migraines from stress, my hands have been shaky basically all the time. I can't even think, I feel so sick all the time and I can't even sleep, I just have like these nightmares all the time and I just like...I don't want to sleep because then the next morning comes faster and I can't deal with it. I've just been such a bitch to everyone lately, I get so irritated and I pick fights with my friends because I want them to leave me alone. I don't want them to worry about me when I die. I don't know what I'm doing with my life and my lungs felt all tight like I can't breathe. I just feel like crying and half the time I don't even know why. I basically just sleep and that's it, I just want to sleep. I'm pretty I've put all the weight back on that I lost from my exercise. And I have been thinking about suicide and cutting, that's all I think about besides sleep. I mean, I've actually been researching suicide methods. I want to kill myself so badly. And I swear it's all I think about, I want to die. I feel like I need to be put in the hospital or on suicide watch because I want to cut myself badly. And I don't mean just to relieve some of my emotional pain either, I mean to end my life. I've been told that method is messy and painful but I don't care, I want it like that because I just can't stand living anymore and I know it's cliché but the blood reminds me I'm alive. And I'll attempt suicide if that's what it takes to be put under supervision. I need people who know what they're doing to help me because I'm so depressed that I can't even function and I just want to be someplace safe, where I don't need to worry about the outside world and I can't hurt myself. I need people to take me seriously unlike my counselor and my parents because this really does feel like the end of the road for me. I also want ECT because no medication is helping me and I just need something, I'm sick of feeling this way. I told my mom that I need to be taken to the hospital but she thinks I'm just a normal teenager so maybe I do need to try something. What do I do? I don't know what to do, I'm 17 so can't I consent to anything medical? Wouldn't it be my call to be placed under suicide watch and not my parents?