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I want to ask out this girl but I'm too scared

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Netia, Jan 16, 2018.

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  1. Netia

    Netia
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So there's this girl that I like. I've liked her for a couple of years I think, but I ignored the feelings because I thought she was straight- but in December she told me that she's bi, and then the feelings all came back. So I invited her ice skating on Christmas Eve and it was great fun (held her hand for a lot of the time and that was cute). I was going to ask her out after the ice skating, but chickened out at the last moment.

    I invited her to go to the cinema this weekend, and we're going on Saturday evening (woo!), and there's a couple of things I want to ask her. First is if she would want to come on holiday to Madrid for a week after our A-levels finish, and go to the Madrid Pride parade- I mentioned this when we went ice skating, and said I needed someone to go with, but now I want to actually properly ask her to go. Second, I want to ask her out.
    I want to ask her both these things on the weekend, but I feel like that might be a bit too much. I think I'll definitely ask about the holiday, but I want to ask her out too because I don't want to do it over the phone and I feel like it might be weird if I ask her to meet again in the next couple of weeks or something, because I'm not very good at being patient and don't want to wait to ask her out.
    I'm not even sure if she likes me romantically anyway, but I do want to give it a shot. I've known her for 5/6 years now, so we know each other pretty well, and over the time we've spent together, I feel like she's shown some 'signs', but that could just be me grasping at straws. I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I also really want to ask her out and don't really want to wait longer to do it.
    Any advice? Any tips that might make it easier? I'm terrible at this stuff
     
    #1 Netia, Jan 16, 2018
  2. mlansing

    mlansing
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    I have been in your same situation. The problem is that if you're friends with a person it's difficult to "ask them out" without them thinking you just want to hang out as you normally do.

    That was good that you held her hand at ice skating and I encourage you to keep finding ways to break the touch barrier to see how she responds. If you've tried subtlety and it isn't sending the message, though, then I do think either directly asking her out so that it's clear you want to go on a date with her or telling her you like her and would be interested in something more than friendship is the best course of action. Worst case scenario you will be rebuffed (like I was, lol), but at least you'll rest easy knowing that you tried :slight_smile:
     
    #2 mlansing, Jan 16, 2018
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