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I want to ask her out....

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Katchoo, Jul 1, 2016.

  1. bi2me

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    Sometimes the timing just doesn't work out right. :slight_smile:
     
  2. kypso

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    Rooting for you bud!
     
  3. Katchoo

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    I'm hoping for it to work. Our mutual friend is rooting for me to the point that she has all the plans to help this girl come out to herself. *sigh* Maybe This is too close to the crush on your straight friend thing, the crush on the closeted to herself friend? Not sure. Hopeful and fearful together.
     
  4. PlaidGlove

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    No such thing as the friend zone. It's primarily a derogatory term used by heterosexual men when they feel entitled to sex with a woman and they get turned down.

    Hon, it might work out. It might not. What you need to do in the meantime is promise yourself to be compassionate towards yourself if it all goes haywire. If it happens, awesome! If it doesn't, OK, shit happens, cry a while, then dust yourself off and get back on your feet.
     
  5. Katchoo

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    ..... That's all really good. Thank you.
     
  6. Katchoo

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    She started her new job on Wednesday. I have only texted her a couple times then, but she hasn't responded, and I'm a little bit sad about that. Reminds me that she doesn't think about me the way that I think about her. Lol, lesbians who like each other text all the stinking time, right? Blarg. ... Not giving up hope yet. This is a multi-phase opperation, and we are still in the early stages.

    So, I was looking for a little birthday gift, something really good but not big, because, still just friends. She mentioned that she always sleeps with a sleep mask. And, she loves Sailor Mercury. And I have this fabric that you can print on, left over from a cosplay Idid last year. Totally going to make a Sailor Mercury eye mask by stitching the scaled-to-actual-size picture on to a blue mask...


    mercury.jpg
     
  7. BrookeVL

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    Rooting for you Katch! I'm hoping to be off the market completely soon, myself.
     
  8. Katchoo

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    20160717_034111.jpg

    I sewed up a little bitty note on fabric inside, kind of a wish that she will like me. So cheesy and embarrassing if she ever takes it apart, but I doubt she ever would.
     
  9. HappyGirlLucky

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    That is awesome, I bet she will love it!! And I hope she does take it apart or otherwise somehow notices the note inside, because that was such an adorably cheesy thing to do! :astonished:
     
  10. GingerBiscuit

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    Great work there and what a great idea for the note! If you can't pluck up the courage to tell her you like her in person you could always text her when you feel the time is right asking her to take it apart!

    Sending luck!
     
  11. afgirl

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    I don't usually read entire threads that I come in late on....but I read this one because I wanted to see how it ended up. You are doing fine. Focus more on developing this friendship. Be brave. She knows you're gay?
     
  12. Katchoo

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    Since im only recently out, it's not totally public knowledge. Last weekend when I hung out with J and S, at the end of the night I talked a lot to S about The Plan. S said she would tell J that im gay, and use it in part to normalize the gayness and maybe help J in her own questioning. And then after that I will tell her I like her. That's the thought anyway. I just want it all done now, though.

    ---------- Post added 17th Jul 2016 at 11:15 AM ----------

    HGL and Ginger,

    Thanks. :slight_smile:

    I want her to like me, blarg! All the insecurities....
     
    #52 Katchoo, Jul 17, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2016
  13. afgirl

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    It's so complicated, but when it all comes together, it's awesome. Love my girl and so glad she took a chance on me.
     
  14. Katchoo

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    Afgirl, story time? How did your girl take the chance on you? I don't really have any story models of how this kind of awkwardness happens. Please?
     
  15. Katchoo

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    Since J started her new job, she has responded very little to texts. Im trying to restrain how much I text. Reminded she doesnt really like me like I like her. :frowning2:

    It's really hard for me to hold my heart open to more than one person at a time. But, maybe I should try some different dating apps or something, just to see who else is out there.
     
  16. LostInDaydreams

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    I'm sorry to hear this. (*hug*) How long has she been in her job now? Is it possible that she's just really busy with it?
     
  17. HappyGirlLucky

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    I am sorry she doesn't respond much anymore. :frowning2: Perhaps she is just busy with her new job? Have you talked to S about her at all? I think it is a good idea to go try some dating apps at least. I am like you and only focus on one person at a time so I understand that it feels weird, but it doesn't hurt to keep your options open. :slight_smile:
     
  18. BrookeVL

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    I'm the same way, I only focus on one person at a time, even though I know branching out would be a good idea. I guess I just feel kinda guilty if I date two people at once, even though that's what everyone does until they decide who they want to be exclusive with....

    At the same time, if she's not seeming interested, I think going on dating sites is a good idea.
     
  19. Katchoo

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    Resume crushing.

    Tonight we texted for a while. Hopefully I can hang out with her on her birthday Sunday. Uy. Nerves, etc.

    Gonna make myself download one dating app anyway. I should try to keep an open mind. Even though I really, really want it to work with J.
     
  20. HappyGirlLucky

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    Yesss! You got this, Katch! Are you going to give her the sleep mask on Sunday?

    I think it's a good idea to download an app anyway like you said, to see what else is out there and maybe it could help you not feel so nervous about J if you see other cute girls on there. :slight_smile:

    Has S told her that you are gay yet, BTW?