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I want to ask her out....

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Katchoo, Jul 1, 2016.

  1. Katchoo

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    So, the coworker friend that I like "J", she told me this morning that she took another job starting in 2 weeks, but that she wants to stay friends with people from our office. Don't-date-coworkers problem resolved!! I messaged her high school friend "S" who works with us, who was the first coworker-friend I came out to. I asked S how straight J is, because I like her, but Idon't want to ask her out if that's stupid. S said that J seems to be unsure of her sexuality, possibly questioning. Winning!!!! I mean, not being sure who she likes is no guaruntee that she likes me, but.... I may not be rejected totally just because of gender?? More likely to get rejected because she is nervous. Though this might not work out, it also might be a really good first girlfriend opportunity, with someone else who is figuring things out. :slight_smile: Maybe. Maybe. I hope so. Maybe. .... Ugh, nervous! Gotta be brave.
     
  2. BrookeVL

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    You can do it!
     
  3. dirtyshirt84

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    That's awesome! Great she is starting another job but wants to stay in touch.

    I think you should ask her out - nothing to loose!
     
  4. Really

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    Great opportunity!

    Could you push through your nerves and take charge? Lightheartedly?

    "Hey J! Let's get together on Xxx and you can tell me about the first week at your new job. We can do lunch/dinner/coffee. My treat!"
     
  5. mirkku

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    Good for her to get a new job, good for you(and maybe the both of you!) that it leaves an open door for a different relationship with her! I keep my fingers crossed for you. I support the idea that you just first casually ask for a coffee with her, it's pretty common practice for friends or ex-coworkers to catch up on each other's lives and work experiences. :slight_smile: It would not put her off. You could then also ask about her romantic relationships, and see what her answer is.

    Best of luck! Positive vibes sent your way~
     
  6. Katchoo

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    Yeah, maybe I can offer to buy coffee and hear about the new job and maybe over coffee tell her I like her? I feel like I will so easily make myself just a good friend, as I have years of practice doing that with girls I like. At some point, before or after asking her out, I think I need to make it clear that I like her. Like, in a gay way. :wink:
     
  7. yuanzi

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    Yay you should totally do it! Like others said coffee or food is a great idea.

    If I knew any single les/bi lady who was interested in me (aka not hating me), I would definitely ask her out :slight_smile:
     
  8. mirkku

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    "How is the new job?"
    "Oh, it's great..."
    "Great. All great. Everything's great. I like you."
    "Uh?"
    "In a gay way. Super-gay."
    "Aye."
    - I mean, that's still much more realistic than a Disney romance.. :grin:
     
  9. Bunny45

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    Yay, that's lucky. Coffee sounds like a good plan.
     
  10. YeahpIdk

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    Ooh, this sounds like it could get good. Keep posting about it. We will help you through!
     
  11. caliwoman

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    Good luck!!
     
  12. Katchoo

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    I could have gone to a holiday BBQ at S's house and J would have been there. I didn't go. It was almost an hour away, a different hour away than other errands I needed to run. And, I felt sweaty and tired and not well recovered from being sick earlier this week. Ifeel a little stupid that Ididn't go, when S invited me mostly because J would be there.... Maybe I can try to fb message or text tomorrow?
     
  13. Jackie13

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    Sure, why not message her? Sounds fantastic that you might have the opportunity to make connection romantically. Keeping my figures crossed! :thumbsup:
     
  14. Katchoo

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    Hey, Jackie. Thanks for the wall posts. I'll get back to you on those tomorrow when I want a break from work stuff.
     
  15. Katchoo

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    Why am I so nervous just about sending her a message? I fb messneged her, then realized she must not use it often because she hasn't looked at some messages Isent like a month ago... I guess I text her? Is it ok to text the same thing? Not sure? Paranoid? Not sure. IDK. Ugh.

    I should just do the dishes. The never ending dishes. Dishes from all of last week. Gotta try to not be a gross person at home, because, what if I could invite Jessica over for lunch? (I live across the street from our office, so this is a common thing with coworkers.) Gotta make my house not gross.
     
  16. mirkku

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    Hey Katchoo, it's okay to send her a text =) Just start by "Hi! I sent you this message on fb, but realized afterward that you are not using this service often these days. Woops! Here's what it read: --" or something of that kind. That way it does seem like a re-tell and remains harmless.

    The idea of inviting her for lunch is lovely. Good luck with the dishes! :wink:
     
  17. Morgana

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    I know that nervousness well, m'dear. I'm still wrestling with it myself sometimes. All I can say is I'm sure once we both get around to it and get over the shyness/nerves, we'll have a wonderful time. Perhaps we should just encourage each other?

    Encouraging hugs,

    Morgana
     
  18. caliwoman

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    Awwww it's so cute when we get nervous like that.

    What would you do if this was just another friend??
     
  19. baristajedi

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    Go Katchoo!!! You can do this! I'm watching for updates. Like everyone else has said, I think you should go for it. <Sending confidence and calming energy.>
     
  20. Katchoo

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    I did talk with her for a while on messenger. :slight_smile: I felt awkward, like I was being the inquisition asking her things. But, she stuck with it. We tossed around the idea of playing video games together some time, and I offered lunch at my house sometime this week if our client schedules line up. She'll probably be really busy this week trying to get things wrapped up at this job. IDK. I guess, I have had my whole life of being "just friends" with girls I like and trying to hide that I like them. I feel like I really need to tell her directly that I like her. I mean, Icould probably make it cute. :wink: But, I'm afraid of being friend zoned forever and being sad if I don't make clear that there is at least a romantic option with me.