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I Want A Relationship, But...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Gunsmoke, Dec 25, 2016.

  1. Gunsmoke

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    Hi! Um, I hope this is the right forum for this...

    For quite a long time, I've been feeling quite lonely and I think I'd like to be in a relationship, I mean, I'm a bit of a romantic and I often find myself wishing that I had somebody.

    The problem is - well, two problems. The first is that I have no idea how to "put myself out there", I'm really inexperienced as well as being a total wallflower who doesn't make friends easily. People make dating sound so easy, but it's like - I don't even have any friends? Not in a sad way, I just didn't keep in contact with them when school finished. I have online friends and I have coworkers that I like a lot, but that's really it. So... How am I supposed to meet people? It's not as if I'm going out to the bar with some friends on a Friday night.
    I know there's online dating, but I heard so many horror stories about it when I was younger that I'm a bit skeptical of it.

    The second problem is that I'm not exactly emotionally stable and, while I want somebody, I'm afraid of scaring them away with my mental state. I take medication for my problem, but I still have really dark times sometimes. I wonder if it would be asking too much of somebody to ask them to put up with that.

    Thanks for reading! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :slight_smile:
     
  2. Chiroptera

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  3. Creativemind

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    Have you tried LGBT groups? Maybe find sites that aren't as sketchy?

    I don't know....It's hard for me too, so I do relate. Especially since I'm not all that attracted to people until we get to know each other better.
     
  4. BBRudegyal

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    OMG SAME

    I don't know how to put myself out there but i want to be dating. I want a relationship but like you i am suffering from a mental illness (major depressive disorder) and I don't want to bring anyone down. I want to be positive addition to someone's life not a burden.

    I do think it is important to know that just because you have a mental illness does not mean you cannot bring joy into someone else's life. You are not your mental illness you were you before any illness appeared. I should take my own advice.

    I really hope you find someone.
     
  5. resu

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    I would suggest first trying to make friends based on your interests/hobbies, and try to find some LGBT friends in particular. You could look if there is a local LGBT center. Even just going to concerts, films, events may give you an opportunity to make friends.

    Online dating is not that bad, but it can't replace meeting in person.

    As for emotionally instability, definitely consider talking to a professional counselor because they can give you the tools to be more stable (and better able to handle a relationship).
     
  6. JAlfred

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    I totally get where you're coming from especially with online dating; I tried it in college with very mixed results.

    As far as meeting people, I'm planning to get out of the house more when spring rolls around and the weather becomes better and is conducive to events happening. Hopefully that way I can find some more friends to keep in contact with, and perhaps even a date or two.