1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I thought I was pan. Maybe I’m just a lesbian?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by CactiCat, Dec 29, 2018.

  1. CactiCat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2018
    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    West Virginia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So I’ve identified as Pansexual for about 9 months now, and I’ve never really had any doubts about it until now. But I recently realized that I don’t like boys the way I like girls. I don’t think I’ve ever found a guy sexually attractive, but I’ve had crushes on them in the past. Sex with a guy doesn’t sound weird either. And I’ve always went for more feminine looking guys, such as long hair, shorter than me, or guys with more feminine faces. So am I a lesbian? Am I still pan?
     
  2. Mlpguy88

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2011
    Messages:
    915
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Michigan
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    From what you describe I think you are lesbian. Panromantic could also be another aspect of who you are but that is only a label. If you know you will be happier with women then go with your heart.
     
    CactiCat likes this.
  3. Leah061

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2018
    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    341
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I mean, you might be a lesbian, but we can't really tell you for sure. It's not unusual for people to first come out as bi/pan when they realize they're same sex attracted, and realize later that they're actually just gay (not to say there aren't people who are sincerely bi/pan of course!). Can you elaborate more on not liking boys the way you like girls? Because from what you describe, it sounds like it may just be that you have a specific type of guy you're attracted to, or of course you may be a lesbian trying to convince yourself you're into guys. Have you heard of the term compulsory heterosexuality? If you haven't read into it yet, I would definitely recommend it, it's something that helps a lot of questioning women.
     
    #3 Leah061, Dec 29, 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 30, 2018
    CactiCat and tystnad like this.
  4. CactiCat

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2018
    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    West Virginia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So when I’m attracted to guys, it’s not ever sexual, it’s very romantic. I imagine myself cuddling them, but not kissing them. I’m attracted to their personality and tend to think about if they have nice eyes and hair.
    With girls, there is instant attraction. I imagine myself cuddling and kissing girls. And I’ve only ever fallen in love with a girl.
     
  5. Dani Cal

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2018
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So I am dealing with a situation kind of like yours. I recently got some good advice and want to pass it on. Labels are just words, and yes they can be life changing or make you feel more comfortable being who you are, but first you need to accept what you feel. It sounds to me like your conflicted over the male attraction, because you're not sure if you want to let it go yet. Maybe your hopeful for more to come with that side of you in the future? As for right now, the best advice I can give you is that you know you're attracted to girls more than you are to guys, so focus on that. See if you can find really good connections with girls, feel it out, and maybe the answer will come to you. Time will help.
     
    Reviskova likes this.