1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I think I'm turning a corner?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by RJay, Aug 29, 2017.

  1. RJay

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2017
    Messages:
    932
    Likes Received:
    1,361
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Good morning, people...

    Honestly, I didn't think I was drunk last night, but judging by how I feel this morning, I guess I must have been quite!

    Anyhow..... I was soooo nervous to go meet these women. Like, I almost turned around and went home several times. But I made it. There were 8 of us. We started out with dinner at a Mexican place. I felt pretty at ease quite soon. I didn't think I was going bar hopping, but I found myself all swept up in everybody's enthusiasm. So, after dinner, we went to a lesbian bar for a drink, and after that to Stonewall. You might not know, but that is a very famous gay bar.

    Honestly... at various points in the night, I was thinking, "how is this my life???" NYC, "the Village" on a Friday night with a group of gay women, after avoiding the hell out of gay women my whole life. And not just with them, but I'm one of them??!?! FREAKY.

    OK, so throughout the evening, I was hitting it off particularly well with one of the ladies. J. But I swear to god, the whole time, I'm just thinking she seemed nice, and we had a lot in common -- very similar life story -- and I'd made a new friend. All OK. But, by the time we made it to Stonewall, she was flirting with me big time, and I could just see that she was so into me. Very weird feeling! But awesome. Soooooooo not used to this.

    Anyway, everybody was teasing us that we were going to end up married, lol. It was funny. This group was hilarious, and they talked about EVERYTHING. They all asked me so many personal questions, and I don't know, but maybe because of my oversharing here, it felt fine to just spill it all out with them. But, I was definitely the newbie gay. Everyone there had had at least 1 girlfriend already. J broke up with her first girlfriend 6 weeks ago. They were all talking about sex, and how sex with men just doesn't compare, and once I have that experience, I'll never even look at a guy again, lol. I told them I already never looked at them before!

    OK, so back to Stonewall... We were all on the dance floor as a group at first, but people kept on leaving one by one. And J kept NOT leaving. Even though others were going back to the area where she lives, etc. She was just kind of stuck next to me. Finally, the only one left besides us was the "facilitator" of the group. So it was the 3 of us dancing. And honestly, I don't know how it happened, but J and I kind of got some distance from the other lady, and just started making out on the dance floor. It was insane. Like completely crazy. So fascinating to be in a gay bar where all the couples making out were same-sex, and nobody gave a damn! We were at it for a loooooong time, when the other lady comes to find us to say goodbye. She was so pleased, it was hilarious. She said, "MY WORK IS DONE!" and took off. And J and I kept at it for quite a while longer. I was really lost in it for a long time, but finally my brain kicked in eventually, and I thought, "we have got to get out of here! What am I doing?!" So, I walked J out, and I hailed her a taxi and put her in it. PHEW.

    And she texted me at 7:30am. LOL. Now what?!
     
    Rachyl, Nullis, Leela80 and 11 others like this.
  2. IrishEyes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2017
    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    92
    Location:
    Ireland
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I'm delighted for you RJay.
     
  3. OED27x

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2017
    Messages:
    317
    Likes Received:
    505
    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    @RJay that sounds like a fantastic night. I'm glad you made a connection. And got some action! Damn that's hot actually.
    So, now text her and say you had a great time. See if she wants to get coffee later this week...
    Do you like her?
     
    Soundofmusic, NeonSocks and junebug99 like this.
  4. Lego

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2017
    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Toronto
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Oh wow @RJay!! Oh I am so happy. That is HOT <fans self>
    But equally don't feel you HAVE to take anything further with J, unless you want to, so I have no idea what to do about the text! Do you like her as much as she likes you? Too soon to tell I guess? This is so awesome though I kind of want to come along on one of these outings haha
     
  5. idsm

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2014
    Messages:
    366
    Likes Received:
    165
    Location:
    .
    So, RJay... What's it like to kiss a woman? :slight_smile:
     
    junebug99 likes this.
  6. NeonSocks

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2017
    Messages:
    412
    Likes Received:
    744
    Location:
    Midwest
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    There should be a mandatory spoiler alert on our responses to @RJay because I almost ruined this for myself by accidentally skipping ahead!

    Anyways, I was reading along with a stupid grin on my face and then got to the dancing make-out part and my smiling dopey jaw dropped. I am just in such happy shock! It sounds like you had a well deserved fabulous night and I couldn't be happier for you!
     
  7. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,030
    Likes Received:
    3,156
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Yes RJay tell us what you think.
     
  8. silverhalo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    10,030
    Likes Received:
    3,156
    Location:
    England,
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Aww RJay I'm so glad you made it last night and I think we can safely say you had a good night.

    What next is completely up to you and what you want to happen :slight_smile:
     
    dreamingfreely and junebug99 like this.
  9. Soundofmusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    OMG OMG OMG OMG

    You have NO idea how happy i was to read this!!!!!!!!!!! How freaking amazing that you went and hit it off with someone!!

    Tell us more! How did you feel?! Was it different than with your hubz? Was it different than you expected? YAY
     
    idsm, NeonSocks and IrishEyes like this.
  10. RJay

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2017
    Messages:
    932
    Likes Received:
    1,361
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Haha, you guys. So many questions!

    I'm very attracted to her, but I have no idea if it was just that she was sooooo into me. God, I'm such a newbie. No idea what I'm doing. But now we are texting, and she obviously wants to see me again. There was so much chemistry, that I think I should see where it goes. She is rebounding from a year-long relationship, and I'm clueless, so who knows what will happen... I guess I kind of hope it will just be a physical thing with no pressure, but no idea if she will be OK with at least starting out that way. (OMG, I can't believe this is where my brain is at, because I *never* thought I'd be interested in sleeping with somebody I barely know. It took my ex and me MONTHS to get there.)

    Was it different from my husband??? Hell yes! For one, kissing someone who is INTO IT is incredible. My ex was never into me like that. And I wasn't into him either. So, that shit was just terrible. This was epic. Really hot. Really exciting. Just really "right" and natural. OMG. After all the months of looking at straight women and wondering and pining... Such a revelation to just go at it with a woman as gay as I am. I feel like I will never look at a straight girl again.

    L is DYING. All I told her is that one of the members of the support group was REALLY supportive. LOL. She can't wait to talk to me later and get all the details.

    J is like 5' 2" or 5' 3", cute in a very normal way, quite feminine, curly brown hair, blue eyes, Jewish, 45 years old, mother of 2 boys aged 20 and 13. Lives like a 90 minute drive away. She was very curious to know if I had a car. LOL. I don't, but I use my brother's car whenever I want. My brother, the enabler. He is super excited, haha.

    Now I have to teach for a few hours. With a headache. Joy... Talk to you guys more later.
     
  11. OED27x

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2017
    Messages:
    317
    Likes Received:
    505
    Location:
    Virginia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    We've had a breakthrough ladies.
    Here's to NEVER looking at a straight woman again!!!!

    I really think this is what you need @RJay. There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking this could be a physical thing. You are an adult and if that's what you want and what you need for the right now, you can make the decision to do what feels right for you.
     
    Rana, Hushhh, dreamingfreely and 4 others like this.
  12. zumbaqueen

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 11, 2017
    Messages:
    305
    Likes Received:
    357
    Location:
    New York
    Glad you made a connection @RJay have fun!
     
    RJay likes this.
  13. Soundofmusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    664
    Location:
    Caribbean
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    WOW so amazing to read all of this. Im so genuinely excited and happy for you. Like Ive said, you are currently at the best time of your life and its clear everything is coming together! Youve got your beautiful baby boy, youre refocusing on your career, you are being your true self, you are making friends (like L) who are wholeheartedly there for YOU! And now you are getting some! Seriously, i hope you are reveling in all the beauty and wonder around you. SO WONDERFUL
     
  14. RJay

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2017
    Messages:
    932
    Likes Received:
    1,361
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Love you guys... What a world we live in, when a 44 year old grown-ass mom making out with another mom in a gay bar engenders so much interest and excitement among a bunch of strangers on the internet. I guess it is pretty wonderful! :slight_smile:
     
  15. NeonSocks

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2017
    Messages:
    412
    Likes Received:
    744
    Location:
    Midwest
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I don't think I have ever been so genuinely happy for a complete stranger in all my life. You go @RJay ! We are all cheering you on!

    I think someone already shared Tegan and Sara's "Closer" in one of our many tangent threads...but here is another song of theirs that I think you might find appropriate for your current situation. :slight_smile:

     
    Rana, Hushhh, leb10 and 1 other person like this.
  16. junebug99

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2017
    Messages:
    437
    Likes Received:
    557
    Location:
    Ontario, Canada
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    You answered my question! Sounds like you made a connection with J. My first name starts with J. And it's not June. LOL.
     
  17. Searching1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2017
    Messages:
    396
    Likes Received:
    566
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    @RJay I have a big silly smile reading all of this! I am so incredibly happy for you. That all sounds amazing! As @Soundofmusic said, you have so many great things going on and you have a lot to be proud of with where you have gotten. So exciting!
     
    Rana and NeonSocks like this.
  18. leb10

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2017
    Messages:
    223
    Likes Received:
    364
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    This is all amazing!!! RJay I'm so happy for you! You deserve some fun!
     
    Rana likes this.
  19. Moonsparkle

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2017
    Messages:
    516
    Likes Received:
    681
    Location:
    Northeast US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Some people
    OMG I am feeling actually giddy and full of GLEE for you @RJay. And not just for you but for ALL of us here. Why? Because you are truly an inspiration to all of your readers. We have all followed your story along the way, identified with so many of the feelings and gained so much from your honesty. And LOOK at the turning point the story is at now....all because you shook off your fear and met up with this group of women who you had never met!

    You have PROVEN to all of us nervous nellie's out there: 'Nothing Ventured. Nothing Gained.'


    You ventured and you gained! Big time :slight_smile: !!!!!


    Proud of you, and inspired by you! I don't think you set out to be a role model...but you have been bestowed this honor!

    I DO NOT see HOW you are going to concentrate on teaching piano right now!

    Absolutely see J again! You so got this! ROCK ON!










     
    Rana and zumbaqueen like this.
  20. leb10

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2017
    Messages:
    223
    Likes Received:
    364
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    @NeonSocks love that there is a T&S song for all occasions. I was thinking Bodywork also might be appropriate haha

    @RJay - yay for moms kissing other moms in gay bars. How was stonewall? I want to get there at some point. It feels important
     
    #980 leb10, Sep 16, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2017
    OED27x likes this.