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I think I might have ruined things forever...my life is such a mess

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by blueskies, Nov 7, 2013.

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  1. WhiteShadows

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    Oh my god
    Blueskies that's so amazing
    I'm so happy for you, and it's SO GODDAMN CUTE!
    Just keep reassuring him that he's got you and he doesn't need to be scared because you can deal with anything together :slight_smile:
    By the way, you guys have been having these conversations in Swedish right? Just wondering xD If so, your English translations are superb!
     
  2. scanner007

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    blueskies,

    oh yes blueskies,
    he was definitely overwhelmed with emotion.
    You told him you loved him. And he loves you.
    For just a quick moment those feelings merged and he felt that sublime feeling of the joy of true love; without prejudice. It overwhelmed him and he had no other outlet but to cry. Good god I teared up a bit when I read it, was awesome. And yes, he's wrestling with a ton of different emotions right now, but don't misunderstand, for that one moment, he wasn't wrestling with anything negative. He was so relieved, happy and full of love it short circuited him and he cried. Or if you are spiritual and believe in living in another time and place beyond this life...one would say you touched his soul. Definitely a moment you'll both never forget.
    Good luck and happiness to both of you.
     
    #62 scanner007, Nov 17, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2013
  3. blueskies

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    So I'm at his place now and writing this from his laptop haha. He's away at soccer practice so I figured why not :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Me and Martin (I might as well use his name now) have talked about stuff we haven't really spoken about before. Well let's just say we're definitely boyfriends now :grin: He said that he's still really scared but that he wants to give it a go because he "hasn't ever felt this way about anyone before" (at this point I had to stop myself from screaming out loud with joy lol).

    So basically I went to Martin's place and due to the fact that he hasn't got a couch, we lay down on the bed and talked for a while. We talked a little about why he's so afraid of what he's feeling and we discovered that our worry stems from basically the same thing - neither of us thinks anyone will react weirdly but we still worry about what's going to happen. But we decided not to worry about that right then.

    We did talk a little about how open we should be and right now, neither of us is ready to tell anyone. I did mention Maria and Martin figured that she should know (he knows her too but I'm a closer friend of hers than he is) and he's okay with me telling her about us...in a while. I think I should come out to her as soon as he allows me to. I mean it's scary but she's a good person to start with. We've decided to stay absolutely closeted at the moment because we need to figure ourselves out a bit more before we tell people. We're gonna act like we're just friends whenever we're around other people, which I'm fine with. We're still new to 'us' ('us' as in being a couple) and we need to get used to that before we move on to the next level. We also decided to take it slow and wait a while before we do things. He said he's not ready to have sex yet (we've had sex before but I get his reasoning) so we're going to wait until we both feel ready.

    I guess this is even bigger for him than it is for me, I mean I'm just dealing with being in a new relationship while he's dealing both with his feelings for me and also with being in a relationship.

    We didn't talk much after that, because, as Martin put it "we're in no hurry, we will get time to talk about these things another day". Instead we ended up making out pretty much the whole afternoon.:eusa_danc I'm just so in love with him. I fell asleep with my head on his chest and the last thing I remember before falling asleep is him playing with my hair. I think I could definitely get used to this to be honest. :grin:

    I'm happy where we are right now. No one knows where this will lead but I'm feeling confident :grin:

    Thank you so, so much to everyone that's helped me and Martin. Thank you for listening to me whine and giving me awesome advice! Without you, I would never have found the courage to talk to him the way I did and if I hadn't, we probably wouldn't be together now.

    /Eddie
     
    #63 blueskies, Nov 17, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2013
  4. bingostring

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    :thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

    This is such good news... made my week end too!

    :smilewave:smilewave:smilewave:smilewave:smilewave
     
  5. blueskies

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    WhiteShadows:

    Thanks :grin:

    Yes, we have haha. Thank you! I tried to make them sound idiomatic in English and I guess I succeeded! o/

    Scanner
    THANK YOU! :grin:

    Short circuited is definitely a brilliant way to put it. I definitely think that's what happened to him. He wasn't as emotional when I talked to him today, mainly because I think, in a way, he was more ready for what was to come.
     
  6. PerryRob2008

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    @blueskies

    Your story has really given me a new lease on life and love. Reading your posts made me smile so much. I am so happy for you and Martin and I hope you guys the best through this transition.
     
  7. D43054

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  8. scanner007

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    Eddie,

    I'm so happy for you and Martin. I read your post about five times now. So nice to see a "happy ending" to a story that's just beginning. And what better way than to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon together talking and smooching. ha ha
    I'm hearing the music playing and seeing the end credits rolling on this thread, but I hope that isn't the case for a while. Please keep us updated on how things are going with the two of you and whats going on, I think we'd all like to know.

    YOU'RE WELCOME! :grin:
    I'm glad I could help. It really made my day.
    You may never see him "short circuit" like that again but now that you have both formed a connection of sharing each other, honestly without fear, you have a lot of happy days together defining exactly what 'us' really means.
    My best to both of you,
    I hope you have an extraordinary life together.
    -Shawn
     
  9. microbeast101

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    Been reading through your situation and everyone's comments. Bravo for having such an honest talk! It's all part of yours and his journeys in figuring out who you are and it's all perfectly normal. In time both of you will figure things out and even better if you can do it together and support each other. Happy for you!
     
  10. NoClue

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    Blueskies,

    Seems as though I'm gone for a day and sooooo much has happened!

    I'm so happy for you guys! I'm glad you both were honest and while he is scared, had the courage to admit it and not let it defeat him.

    This story I'm sure, has renewed a lot of us in believing there is a happy ending out there. (!)

    Onwards and upwards! Keep us posted!:icon_bigg
     
  11. gingerbread

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    I just read through all the posts.
    this past 10 days must be difficult for you. BUT I AM so happy for you guys.. its such an encouraging story and I hope you guys all the best. keep us posted. : )
     
  12. blueskies

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    To everyone; THANK YOU! I'm literally so happy now! It's unreal. I never thought another person could make you so happy :3 The only bad thing is that he lives so far away and this week he gets off work at 11, meaning I probably won't be seeing him until next weekend. I'm seriously counting the days. I've never been in a relationship before so I'm extremely new to all of this but I can't wait for what's ahead of me. Since we're best friends, I really know this guy which probably will make matters easier for me ^^ It's not like I have to get to know him AND have to get to know our relationship at once, which I'm super grateful for.

    I will keep you guys updated if you want to. :grin:

    I know right! the only downside to this was when I needed to leave his apartment but I couldn't because we couldn't stop kissing haha.

    I can tell talking about his orientation and the future still makes him nervous (it makes me nervous too) but I guess we'll figure everything out in time.

    Thank you, again, to everyone who's helped me through this!

    ---------- Post added 18th Nov 2013 at 08:46 AM ----------

    It's been incredibly difficult for me, but still so worth it. :grin:
     
  13. Steak is food

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    Well, all in all, you certainly didn't ruin things forever. Well done and good luck for the future!
     
  14. AKTodd

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    Congratulations(!)

    Really, really happy for you:slight_smile:

    And really nice to know Martin has moved past the whole no kissing thing:slight_smile:

    Take care, have fun, and feel free to post back here anytime you need to (or just feel like giving us an update).

    Best to you both,

    Todd:smilewave
     
  15. blueskies

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    I just remembered that you guys wanted updates :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Well we've been together for three weeks or something like that now and everything's just perfect. I've more or less stayed at his place during this time and I don't feel like moving back home anytime soon, despite the fact that we have to share his super tiny bed and he keeps kicking me out of it every single night lol.

    Cheesy as it may sound, I never thought it was possible to like another person this much. Yesterday as I was doing the dishes after dinner, he walked up behind me and put his arms around my waist and rested his head against my shoulder and it was so cute. I never knew I was a sucker for the small things, but apparently I am. I mean, I love it when he does stuff like that. And when he plays with my hair and when he falls asleep on my shoulder whenever we're watching TV :slight_smile: Aaaw I just love being with him (yes, cheesy I know). But it kills me that we can't ever act couple-y whenever we're out somewhere. Like when we're meeting up with friends or something and I have to pretend I'm just his friend.

    I have talked to him about telling Maria about us, though, and he wasn't exactly thrilled. He's okay with her knowing about us but he feels like he can't tell anyone because then he would have to tell that person that he's gay too, which he isn't (that's the way he said it...god knows what's going on inside his head at times). I hope we're able to tell someone soon though because now I feel like I want people to know about us. Not like everyone but I want to tell at least one person. And Maria would be a really good person to tell imo.

    I guess he's still figuring himself out. He clearly doesn't want to talk about that so I never bring it up anymore. I'm also trying to figure myself out. I've now realized I've had at least one crush on a guy before so I guess it's safe to say I'm not 100% heterosexual but I still have no idea what to call myself.

    I hope everyone on here's fine. I'll check in here sometime soon again. Take care!
     
  16. scanner007

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    Originally posted by blueskies in NoClue's "Is he Gay?" thread:
    Hey blueskies, I just thought I'd paste your cute story about him kicking you out of bed from NoClue's thread so everyone here knows what you're talking about when you say he's kicking you out of bed. Yeah, just like NoClue...made me all mushy lol ...CUTE!
    PEACE
     
  17. bingostring

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    awww... nice

    please keep us with the updates !

    I am certain they are i-n-s-p-i-r-i-n-g other people here and give us hope
     
  18. WhiteShadows

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    Nawwww
    About the kicking thing. Perhaps consider investing in a larger bed? lol
    It's not his fault; your brain gets so out of it when you're asleep xD
     
  19. NoClue

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    So cute blueskies! Thanks for the update. Don't worry about anything else for now. Just focus on being with him and being in the moment! Everything else will come together soon. :icon_bigg
     
  20. blueskies

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    thanks for your comments, you're really lovely all of you :grin:

    Haha I know, we definitely need to if we ever move in together. I never meant to temporarily move into his place but he lives so far away from me so whenever I go to see him, I always end up staying too late and then it's too late for me to go home so I spend the night instead. And tbh, getting kicked out of bed every single night is so worth it if it means I can fall asleep next to him.
     
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