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I think I have a crush on my straight best friend...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by BiBoy, Feb 3, 2009.

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  1. BiBoy

    BiBoy
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    I have this crush on a guy at school, we are quite good mates, he comes skating with me and my mum and he's coming camping soon. I told him I was bi he's ok with it. But, now that I know he's ok with it, it kinda makes me like him more.
    He's got a girlfriend and that doesnt help. Plus I have to sit next to him in most lessons, so I dont know what to do. To make it worse, I have a girlfriend too!
    Anyone got any advice? :help::help:
     
    #1 BiBoy, Feb 3, 2009
  2. Mirko

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    Hi there! First off congrats on coming out to him! Way to go! :slight_smile:

    It seems to be quite normal to develop a crush on someone with whom you have shared something very personal and private. Given that you are sitting beside him in most classes it is going to make it harder but try telling yourself that he is straight and the chances that he will reciprocate the feelings are very slim at best.

    Try to keep talking with him as he seems to be an important part of you support network. You don't want to lose that. At the same time, try building some distance between the two of you. Try to spend more time with your other friends, and your girlfriend. Try to get to know others and try to stay busy and distracted. With time, the crush will fade. I know it can be really hard, but you will get there in time.

    I hope this helps a bit.
     
    #2 Mirko, Feb 3, 2009
  3. BiBoy

    BiBoy
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    Thanks... But I tried that, I had this crush on him since the start of year 7, and now its a year later and its gotten worse...
    He winds me up now that I've come out to him, like he acts gay just to pee me off, which gets funny, he's not very good and just looks like a retard...
    He's perfectly straight but he gives me loads of advice, so thats one reason I am such good friends with him.
    I'm worried about the camping thing though, we have to share a part of the tent, so that might be fun... (EEK)
     
    #3 BiBoy, Feb 3, 2009
  4. Lexington

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    Whatever you do, do NOT try to pull something in the tent. It's gonna be a LONG trip home if that happens.

    Lex
     
    #4 Lexington, Feb 3, 2009
  5. Swamp56

    Swamp56 Guest

    This happened to me...it took a while to get over, but in time I forgot about him. I kind of gave up trying to be with him.

    It'll be hard, but it'll work out fine in the end :slight_smile: .
     
    #5 Swamp56, Feb 3, 2009
  6. Mirko

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    Keep trying! Maybe join a LGBT group or a GSA at your school. I think it would be good if you could create some distance just so for you to be able to move on. If you say or do something you might find yourself in a situation where you might lose a good friend in whom you can confide in. It's going to be hard but with time you will get over him.

    And I do second Lex. Is there a possibility that you could avoid sharing the same tent with him?
     
    #6 Mirko, Feb 3, 2009
  7. BiBoy

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    Its for my party this summer, i asked my parents if I could have a small party for last Sunday (1st) and whether I could have a paintball party, then a few friends over to camp in the tent. Its me and him and two others.
    I keep saying soon cuz I am really worried about it...
    Its a 12 man tent so its quite big.
     
    #7 BiBoy, Feb 4, 2009
  8. myra

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    So sleep on the other side of the tent from him. There's no need to put yourself in a situation. I think you've got a really good, straight, friend. And it needs to stay that way. Do not do anything with him physically because it will only make it awkward and possibly ruin the friendship. If he wants to do something and makes a move, talk it over with him before you do anything. But it seems very unlikely that that will happen. Do things without him to take your mind off your crush. You say you have a girlfriend, right? Well...focus more on her. Pamper her. Spend more time on her. Write her little letters in between classes. Express your feelings about her too her. Not only will that get your mind off him and back to her, but it will show her you care and make her like you even more. Which in turn makes it easier for you to like her back.
     
    #8 myra, Feb 4, 2009
  9. BiBoy

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    Thanks people. I'll let you know how it goes after it happens (in JULY :frowning2: ) I actually feel better about it now. I'm going into town with a group of friends tommorrow after school so that should take my mind else where.
     
    #9 BiBoy, Feb 4, 2009
  10. Mirko

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    I think it is good that you started feeling better about it. Going into town with your friends is a good idea. Try spending a bit more time with your friends. Try to do things so that your mind is occupied with other things. Getting over someone is always hard but you'll get there....
     
    #10 Mirko, Feb 4, 2009
  11. BiBoy

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    Just a quick update:
    I think I'm over him. I still like him but not as much.
    We had a big arguement earlier over MSN, but I think he needs time to cool off, something happened, I asked if he was mad at me he replied, omg shut the f*** up, do you think everything I do is about you?
    then he blocked me.
    So yeah, I'll ask him if he wants to come to town with me and my mates 2morro. I can't expect him to say yes if he's peed at me.
     
    #11 BiBoy, Feb 13, 2009
  12. carrie90

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    in regards 2 your gf how much do u like her because its not fair on her if ur not that interested
     
    #12 carrie90, Feb 14, 2009
  13. Sarah

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    ^ i agree wit carrie90. do u lik ur gf a lot? nd i think u shud give ur friend mayb a little space. talk to him in class nd stuff. nd since u guys had an agrument i think he needs to cool off a tad bit. but next time u talk to him. ask him if mayb something is wrong. dont ask if he's mad at u. mayb something happend wit his gf or him family? but wit wat everyone else is saying lik Asteriod and Lex do watever u can to not think about him a lot. its not fair to anyone(especially ur gf.....)
    hope i helpd.....
     
    #13 Sarah, Feb 14, 2009
  14. Alex19

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    yea i wouldnt try anything but im sure your too smart for that. as for the crush, it will fade. i had a crush on this straight guy but its gone now. it lasted for a little over a year and hes in one of my classes again but i realized it wasnt gonna happen so i was forced to accept it and i dont like him anymore. a relief, actually. liking someone u know u dont got a chance with hurts. :frowning2:
     
    #14 Alex19, Feb 16, 2009
  15. BiBoy

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    Can I just say thanks for all the advice!!!! We have managed to stay friends and we're talking again.
    My girlfriend and I had a rough spot but we're back on track! We went to the cinema (just us two) so we could spend some time together.
    So, everything is OK now (I hope...)
     
    #15 BiBoy, Mar 2, 2009
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