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I think I accidentally outed myself to my parents

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by stocking, Aug 16, 2014.

  1. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    I was washing dishes in the kitchen also I was using dish washing gloves , my mom became angry and yelled at me for using her gloves, I took off the gloves and put them away then my mom started yelling in my face not to touch her stuff , I decided to walk away ,but she threw insults about me from across the room saying How I'm a lazy good for nothing person and that I'll always be working in a super market and would not do anything better and will always be a failure .

    She then threw a rape comment at me and said " I hope a guy screws you , so you can quite down , You need some dick , to shut you up , I hope you get raped "
    I tried ignoring her but then she said
    " OH you need some good dick one of these days a man will hold you down and fuck , you'll be a whore in the streets once you get "
    That's when I got mad and said
    "That will not happen to me I don't like it anyway !! ":tantrum:
    I realized as the words escaped my mouth , my mom got silent for a few minutes then she started throwing insults again and I closed the door to my room .
    Since I've been inside my room the house has been silent and no one is saying anything .
    I'm wondering if I just outed myself to my parents , I'm scared because I don't know how my mom is going to treat me or my dad . :icon_sad:
    My mom recently lost her job and now has to stay home with us , I don't like it when she's room because she always tries to start fights . This is something she always did she almost got violent with me in the argument that's why left the kitchen .
    :help:
     
    #1 stocking, Aug 16, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2014
  2. Kai LD

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    I'm really sorry that happened. I'm having a lot of family problems too. :confused: (*hug*)
     
  3. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    Thanks Kai , I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow .
     
  4. Blossom85

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    I think the real issue is that your mother, someone who is supposed to protect you and love you basically told you she hopes you get raped.. What kind of a mother says that to their child, it is just so wrong.. I think perhaps it was an accident, it could be the best thing ever for you in the long run, cause once it's out there.. You can really start living.. It's a big weight off your shoulders I think anyway.. I am sorry you are treated this way by your mother, I never get or understand parents who treat their kids worse then what any stranger could.. I hope it gets better for you Hun, thinking of you xx
     
  5. CoyoteCalling

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    That's a really messed up thing to say to anyone, let alone your own daughter. I'm sorry you have to live in such a toxic environment and hope you see better times soon.
     
  6. jay777

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    I just tell my opinion... its your risk and responsibility what you make of it...

    What would be if you would tell her that she will not get what she wants by being mean to you... its not who you are... but that people should love and support each other...


    You are not there to fulfill others expectations and you are not there to be a scapegoat for others emotions...

    Remember you are a beautiful being and have intrinsic value...

    If we try we can all live in a good atmosphere... but all parties have to play along...

    (*hug*)
     
  7. RAdam

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    Your mom has issues, seriously that's not normal or ok.
    Hope she doesn't pest you like this everyday(*hug*)
     
  8. iamjustababy

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    Seriously if there was any way I could start a campaign, fundraiser or something, to get you out of that house, then I would, it saddens me to see how, sick your mom can be, seeing from your past threads, she really has it out for you, and the fact that she said she hopes you get raped, is seriously messed up, I wish you the best of luck in this, and hope she doesn't do anything insane now that you're out to her.
    (*hug*)
     
  9. Dakeli27

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    The comments she made were going way too far, and for what? Washing the dishes with her gloves? I don't know what you mother is like, but if she's usually much more calm, I suggest going to her and explaining how hurtful her comments were. As for accidentally outing yourself, I think you could easily work around it, saying, for instance, that you really aren't interested in sex right now, as you have other things on your mind. However, you said she paused and then resumed throwing insults at you. If the insults weren't lesbian insults, I think the pause shows that coming out to her might not be such a bad idea. It might also show her how stressful your life is, and get her to lay off of you for a bit.
     
  10. TheStormInside

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    Oiy, Stocking... I'm sorry your mother is like this. I know you don't have the financial means just yet, but I think doing all you can to get out of that house is your best bet at this point. If things escalate do you have anyone you could stay with for a couple of nights?

    My father was not as abusive as your mother, but he'd make a lot of hurtful comments and remarks while I was still living with my parents, too. While I was there I ended up just doing my best to keep my head down and stay out of his way (which was also difficult because at the time he was taking a lot of time off work due to health issues). I pretty much lived in my room and would come out for meals. One of my brothers dealt with it a bit more healthily, probably, by just being out of the house with friends or activities as much as possible, but he was also targeted less by my father :/ . Can you just try to lay low until you can move out? It sounds like your mother will pick a fight over absolutely anything, so the less she sees you the less ammunition she'll have.
     
    #10 TheStormInside, Aug 17, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2014
  11. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    She's acting like she's in denial , she's trying to be extra nice this morning, wanting to go out. It's just plain weird.:confused:

    ---------- Post added 17th Aug 2014 at 07:42 AM ----------

    Nah I think I'll get insults but probably in the next month , she insults me about everything.
    Then she wants to force me to go to church with her again . But she was acting like she wanted to go to the mall , but I knew something was up, because the mall doesn't open this early.
     
    #11 stocking, Aug 17, 2014
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2014
  12. Sepina

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    Thats not right not at all.. why would she say that, shes probably mad becuase she lost her job and snaps real easy, that I can kinda unserstand.. but the whole 'rape' thing wow.. thats disgusting behaviour. Honestly you dont need that negativity at the moment. I'd prolly beat her up if I were you honestly.. shes making me real f**king mad.
     
  13. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    Things aren't going well my mom is treating me because I'm refusing to go to church plus she is trying to start a fight she said she's going to call the cops on me. She said that l was the evil in the house . She started spraying me with stuff and told me I can no longer stay in the house . I kept yelling at her to leave me alone and she said she wants me to attack her so I can go to jail . I locked myself in the bathroom.
    She said she wants me out. I have no where to go one of my friends stop talking to me because I asked her if I could stay if things got bad with my mom.
     
  14. Kai LD

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    I'm so sorry babe. I wish I could help.
     
  15. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    The fact that you are here for me is enough .

    Things definitely got worse but it seems like their in denial about me being lesbian because they think I'm not .I feel bad because I gave in to stop the tension and my parents tried to take me back to that homophobic church I use to go to when I was a teenager . I refused to go in that turned into a big argument . their definitely in denial about me being lesbian that's for sure
     
  16. Dakeli27

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    That sounds absolutely horrible. TBO, she sounds mentally unstable. She said you should be raped, and then wanted you to attack her so that you could call the cops? There's a wide variety of ways you could react, from venting here to counseling or even at this point legal action. It's up to you, but I think at the very least your mother needs counseling.
     
  17. Black Raven

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    The fuck is wrong with your mum...

    You're a proud and outspoken person, and often just as bold and direct as I am.
    While you to tend to get lured into being really aggressive too easily, I like and respect you for who you are.

    Honestly? I think it's better if they know. Now THEY have to deal with themselves, THEY have to think really hard, THEY have to experience at least a small part of what you've been experiencing for years.

    It is their turn to get hit in the face with something they don't like... they may end up looking at you from a completely different perspective when they've been through all the stages.

    Stay strong. We're here for you if you need us. (*hug*)
     
  18. Argentwing

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    Verbal abuse all day long. Not okay for a second. I don't know if it's illegal, but that sounds like a most hostile environment and she has far bigger issues than having a lesbian daughter.
     
  19. Kai LD

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    The description reminds me of my step-mom but worse, or my step-brother but more aggressive and less clever (they aren't related though). They both have bi-polar, and a variety of other issues. I am so sorry. (*hug*)
     
  20. stocking

    stocking Guest

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    She really does need counseling but she says I'm the one that does .

    ---------- Post added 17th Aug 2014 at 04:39 PM ----------

    Thanks Raven what you said really made me feel better .

    ---------- Post added 17th Aug 2014 at 04:41 PM ----------

    I don't know what's up with her but now she's like in denial about it's like I'm back to the stage where I wasn't out to them . :confused:

    ---------- Post added 17th Aug 2014 at 04:41 PM ----------

    I think my mother might be bipolar

    ---------- Post added 17th Aug 2014 at 04:42 PM ----------

    Rape is going too far .

    ---------- Post added 17th Aug 2014 at 04:44 PM ----------

    I can't stay at any friends , because one is also in the same situation as me , the other cut ties with me because I asked her for a place to stay and she has not called me since .