disclaimer: i know that nobody can really tell me whether or not i’m trans, but it’d be nice to have some insight at the very least. so i’ve always been super feminine. i loved dresses, skirts, makeup, my super long hair, all of it (never liked pink though, for some reason). especially for the better part of the past 2 years, i’ve been, like, hyperfeminine for reasons unknown. but then out of nowhere, i’ve recently started wondering if i’m trans. i came out to my parents as a lesbian in 2021, but i’m starting to question that too because i’ve had attraction to multiple guys over these past few months as i’m opening myself up more to the possibilities of my sexuality and not just limiting myself to a single label. i used to go by she/they, but she as a pronoun has become increasingly more uncomfortable for me over the past few years, and people using my assigned name in school and such kills me just a little bit inside every time i hear it. i’m not sure what to do, because i haven’t been able to come to a clear conclusion yet. this is slightly unrelated but i’m also scared to fully come out to some of my friends as a guy named achilles, (not because they’re unsupportive, most of them are trans) but because a crush of mine that’s also weaved into a lot of my friend groups rejected me, and his type is guys with ‘a’ names, and i feel like people would think i was just trying to change myself for him even though i’ve basically gotten over him. there’s also a worry i have that this is just me trying to get attention and i’m not actually trans. so uhm, yea, that’s it. help me pleaseeee.
How does it feel that youbare useng They as pornoun? Mayby find first an other gender non conforming name and start use these. So you can find what’s you are, think you’ll be at first sight good to stay non binary
So, hello, honey! My name's Lydia, I'll be your gender waitress, here's your menu... Just kidding, obviously. But I'm going to get to the point because it sounds like you really need some guidance right now, and this is the best I have to give. The joke was to endear you to me. If it didn't work, sorry. I have to be blunt now. I'm sorry about that, too. However, you need to speak with a professional about this as soon as you possibly can. The sudden emergence of these feelings and the questions that they raise are serious concerns, to be sure, but what makes me say that is your closing state. You say you might be faking all this for attention; there are two possibilities, if I take that at face value, and I can't take it as less - sorry, that's part of the social contract here, don't hate the player... Either you said that out of some degree of self-awareness about a past history of such behavior, which is something you should address with a professional, or you're doubting the reality of even strong feelings and you need to address that with a professional! PLEASE UNDERSTAND: I do not say this to be insulting, or to be condescending, or to hurt you in any way whatsoever! My intentions are 100% in your interest! I simply do not believe anyone here is qualified to tell you whether or not what you're feeling is real or if you're just trying to fit in with people you like and care about. If you wish to explore gender, we can offer some insight, guidance, even perhaps a link or two to an organization that can help if you're facing some kind of discrimination. But it sounds like what you're dealing with right now is heavy. You should talk to someone. All this is said with love and empathy. If I misinterpreted something, or that was just typed nervously in the heat of the moment or something, I'm truly sorry. Regardless, I'd be happy to offer what other advice I can, if some of my story can help you connect some dots in yours, however you should absolutely talk to someone either way. You'd be surprised how even a little bit of it can help in ways you didn't know you needed.
I identify as non binary. I am transmasculine. I was born female. I was once extremely feminine but now I’m not feminine at all. I’m the complete opposite of who I used to be. I am right over on the masculine side. But I am not FTM. I am happy to be who I am and in the role I am in, in life. I am older and I accept the body I am in. There are one or two feminine traits I like and if I became fully male there would be masculine traits I would hate to have. So I’m happy to be me, non binary and more on the masculine side in the body I’m in. That acceptance of myself took years. I had no idea who I was or what label I was for many many years. I scoured the internet for help and advice. But finally I am at peace with the label I’ve chosen and who I am. How do you feel about the body you are in? You can identify as non binary AFAB and be transmasculine. This might give you a step into the direction of altering your gender into the masculine direction. You might be happy to have this label or you may feel like you totally are FTM. It can take a while to figure things out. It can be very stressful whilst you’re in the process of figuring all this out. We are here if you need help!
lydia, thank you for this response. i’m in absolutely no way offended, you were just helping as for the part about professional help, i’m in the process of trying to seek it, but i’ve had a bit of a bad experience with therapists and stuff. my old one was super judgy and sometimes used our sessions as her own, and it’s been tough trying to convince myself that she was one of the exceptions, not the rule. but i think hearing this from someone else really helped solidify it that i do need to talk to someone, so thank you, truly. (also yes, that waitress joke was very endearing, nice job)
I absolutely know what that's like, dear! The first three I had interactions with, at critical points in my life, were all either useless or actively deleterious. But there are people out there who know what they're doing and can sincerely help you! You deserve clarity before you take the next step to whatever awaits you! I'm so glad to hear you're pursuing it! Whatever you do, stay safe, honey. Hugs and good vibes!
