A while ago I came across a shareable link to a document. It talked about how to realize if you're a lesbian or not, and I found it incredibly helpful. I think I tried to share it a few times here, but it got taken down, I guess because we aren't allowed to share link here or something? Anyway, finding that document, full of so many shared experiences of lesbians before they knew they were lesbians has been one of, if not the most helpful thing I've come across in the last year since beginning my questioning phase. I've kept a tab open on my computer to refer to whenever I start to feel myself spiraling into endless questions. I don't remember ever saving it to my google drive, but I was just looking through it tonight, and I found this document. That would have been fine, since the google drive is connected to my personal gmail account, but I looked through the drive some more, and I saw that some of my mother's documents were saved on my drive. I'm not sure how that happened, since she has her own gmail and I don't remember the last time I signed onto my gmail account on her computer. But I realized just now, that if she has been able to save and access files on my google drive, she's undoubtedly seen the document titled "Am I a lesbian?". I know she's seen it, and since I've visited my parents over the holidays (I live in another state), I got the sense that they knew something. I thought I could have just been paranoid, but I knew there was something about the way they incessantly asked about whether or not I was secretly dating anyone. Now that I know she's seen that document, I know that she knows. I'm mostly just embarrassed. I haven't come out to them, partly because I'm just not ready to, and also because I don't really know for sure that I actually am gay yet. I want to be entirely sure that I'm gay before I tell them, because I know that when I do, it's going to be really rough for a while, and I don't want to get myself into that mess unless I know I absolutely need to. Now I don't have that choice. I can't help but feel like I've just been outed, even though I know now that my mom probably found that document weeks ago. I don't even know if that's what outed me. I mean, I thought I was being careful, but if I let this happen, what else have I carelessly ignored? I feel so flustered.
I am sorry that happened.. The first time my family knew something of my sexuality was when my twin told my dad about my 'girlfriend' (I don't really call her a girlfriend anymore, to be honest. I would have to tell you the full story), so I know how that can feel. I do not know how Google could have done that, but I know that if you have two accounts signed into a device, you can switch back and fourth between them without a password, but sometimes, you have to enter a password (maybe there is a time duration or something). I had also struggled with my whole gender thing and didn't tell my family about it until a few days ago. It was not really a coming out, but more of an update. They knew about it, but it was a big deal to me because I was feeling bad and decided to share them about it because I don't like talking about me and my identification and interests regarding people.
Oh my god, if something like that would've happened to me while I was closeted I would've pissed my pants. The whole time I was closeted I was super paranoid about things like that so I always double checked everything and whenever my dad came into my room I would close all of my tabs just in case there was anything even slightly pointing to the fact that I'm gay. Props to you for staying calm even though this is a horrible situation.
I worry about discovering that this has happened to me as well. However, I'm too scared to check and look for any signs that things weren't as secure and private as I was led to believe they were in case it's true. I thought about this recently when I came across a bunch of photos/documents I thought had been deleted :/
Hey I cant totally understand your frustration at the situation and that you are not ready to face the subject but I think in time you will see it as a good thing. Your mum has seen it and everything is still ok. When it gets to the point that you are ready knowing that she has known might help you do so and whilst this isnt how you would have chosen for it to happen, perhaps you can use it to your advantage. In the meantime im really sorry.
Okay so here's a possibility that I don't believe anyone has acknowledged yet. You say it's your Drive but some of your mom's files here and there, but she has her own Drive? Is it possible that your mom shared those files with you at some point? I mean, I don't know what the files are, obviously, but would there have been any reason for her to share them with you? Also, how old are they? What's the last thing in their edit history? These questions can actually help determine if your mom actually has been in your Drive and if she has if she saw that file. Also, as for why you couldn't share the link here: If you were sharing a file from your Google Drive, it could potentially link your Google info with it when sharing so sharing that here would then be prohibited. Links can be posted as long as they don't break the "No sharing personal information that can be used to contact off this site" rule.
I don't think she intended to share those files with me. The files I saw were travel itineraries she made several weeks ago before she and my dad went on vacation last month. So I know she recently intended to save those files to her drive and some how they ended up on mine. Obviously she's had access to those itineraries since she made them, so I know that means she's been able to see what has been on my drive. I also deleted the "Am I a lesbian" document as soon as I realized she may have seen it. But now I wonder if she'll notice it's gone?
A really easy way to determine this is open up one of the files and click on "Share." It will tell you if that file has been shared with anyone and who it overall shared with. If your mom's account is linked with the file, then it could have been shared with you. If it hasn't, then, yeah, she's had access to your Google Drive account. It's also very possible that your mom didn't notice it? I mean, I know I have a lot of files in my Google Drive, most of which I don't acknowledge or look at.
oh frick. oh hon im so sorry thts awful. aghhhhh thats. seriously the worst. at the very least--make sure you have at least a few preliminary questions and responses down. when my mother found some "incriminating documents" in the form of a lgbtqia packet hidden in my drawer--i had made up a story about a friend who needed advice. depending on how you feel about your home life situation you can tailor your responses accordingly. if she hasnt already brought it up then its likely that she wont. always have a support system just in case. i think youll be okay tho op. i rly rly do. best of luck.
Funny thing, something similar actually happened to me around a year ago. One night I was feeling frustrated about my sexuality and so I began to throw up all my thoughts onto a Google Doc. It was all really personal, and I was devastated when I discovered my mom found it and read it. She never talked about it with me and I only found out she read it through my counselor. I recently came out to her and was surprised to hear the document had prepared her for the news. Of course our situations are different, but I'm honestly a bit grateful she found that document (even though it was personal and embarrassing) because she was more ready to be supportive of me. I hope everything goes well for you, and I'm so sorry this happened.
