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I think, and I wonder..

Discussion in 'Anonymous Sexual Orientation' started by Anonymous, Oct 11, 2017.

  1. Anonymous

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    Yes, I actually have. I watch YouTube videos and play videogames, and so far, those two things take my mind off it.

    Forgive me asking something again. I was masturbating (to futa pornography) and at the end, right before the futa orgasmed, her balls swelled, and this caused more arousal in me. Does this change anything?

    I have also gotten more and more into drawing, and that has helped keep my mind occupied as well.
     
  2. Barbatus

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    No, pornography is more about fantasy than anything else and it is not a good indication of attraction.

    That's good that you are keeping busy. Keep it up. Do you have something you can do when you start to worry regardless of the situation? Like do you take a sketch pad around with you?

    That's really good though. It's stuff like that that will help you.
     
  3. Anonymous

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    I've been getting the random groinal responses again. It doesn't matter if I'm worried or not, I still get them. It happened when watching a let's play video, then a random male character came on the screen and I felt it, no arousal though. I tried to calm myself down, which worked a little while. It happened countless times today. The fact that I don't have to worry anymore makes me worry that this is attraction.
     
  4. Anonymous

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    Okay, right before going to sleep, I was thinking sexually of women and I got hard. I then tried thinking of men, but my boner didn't go away. I then started to think about random things, like dressers, trees, yarn, cloth, anything, but by boner didn't go away. After a few moments, I tried thinking of men again, and my boner faded. This process has repeated twice, does this mean anything?
     
  5. Barbatus

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    No. Neither of those incident does. Men get erections at randoms times anyway. Also if you have been watching a lot of porn I find that that increases the random occurrences. But it is just random. Like waking up with a hard on. It just happens. It isn't in response to anything.
     
  6. Anonymous

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    Just let me know if this the same as the rest.

    Alrighty, so today, I was watching porn
    (again) going back and forth from regular porn to futa porn. During the transition, my boner got a little less hard due to lack of erotic material, then I found this gif where a futa was having sex with a woman. "Two girls having sex" I thought. But I then saw a male in the background, he had an erection. When I saw it, I felt a little growth again. I got confused.
     
  7. granot

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    i have sumthing similiar
     
  8. Barbatus

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    You need to realise that porn is just a form of entertainment and that things like futa as fantasy. What matters is whether you are attracted to men.

    Porn is a stimulant, not an indication of romantic and sexual attractions.

    Hope that helps.
     
  9. Anonymous

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    Alright, so there are 2 things that happened today.

    1. When walking to my last period of school, I passed a guy who looked a lot like a female acquaintance that I think is cute. I felt a small blush to my cheeks. I then mentally panicked. Every time I tried to test if I was actually attracted to him, I just imagine the girl's face on the guy's head, and felt a blush on face every time.

    2. I sometimes role-play on public online places with people. This particular time, I was role-playing as a woman I created. Another person had their character, which is male, approach mine. The scene of my female character and their male character appeared in my head. I felt a strong blush on my face. I do not know if this was towards the guy or the scene itself.

    To respond to your reply, when I fantasize sexually or romantically without porn, women are what around me, men do nothing.

    This should be proof enough that my OCD is wrong, but my mind won't let me accept the answer, so I keep worrying.
     
  10. Barbatus

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    So do you find writing it out here helps? What you need to look into then is ways to reign in your thinking about this. I don't know the best way to do this but if you have a counsellor at school they may be able provide some ideas. If you don't feel comfortable doing so at school you could look into alternatives.
     
  11. Anonymous

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    Yes, it really helps.

    I also have another issue. When ever someone says boyfriend or bf, I blush. But I noticed whenever someone says that, I for some reason, think of girl. I don't know why. But I think it's the reason I blush.

    So, what do you think of this and the other problems?
     
  12. Barbatus

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    Well I'm glad that writing about it helps. However, I also think it might be sustaining the situation as well so please consider seeking RL help from someone who might have some very good methods for help your break the thinking pattern.

    Basically, as you said, these aren't problems - it's seems clear that you have got this concern that you can't shake. So the 'incidents' aren't a problem. The problem is that you see them as a problem.

    In the last instance, it may be that you are thinking about being a boyfriend to a girl which is why you are reacting. Either way it is not a problem - the issue is that you see it as one.
     
  13. Anonymous

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    Today, I was watching videos to clear my head. Now, I'm watching Jacksepticeye play a game called Night the Woods. Skipping the pointless details, there's a gay couple in it. Normally, I wouldn't have any problem with this, but I was immediately reminded of my fear. My heart started filling up with anxiety and my face blushed a little. I read some articles that blushing can happen when you're feeling an intense emotion, such as anger or stress.

    I'm still watching the video, and calming myself down. But, what does this mean? Does this revulsion mean I'm gay in denial?
     
  14. Anonymous

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    I also overheard a guy saying, "The guy at the tattoo parlor was hot." I then got worried I was going to feel attraction or blush at the thought of a guy, so I tried not to think about it, but I did, and my face blushed.