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I need some help from my cis sisters and trans brothers... Is it normal to-

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by I am Cy, Feb 24, 2021.

  1. I am Cy

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    Attention all cis girls and trans boys, I need some help.

    Acording to my lovely and sweet and oh so supporitive girlfriend some things that I thought were normal for cis girls are not normal at all. I'm already pretty sure that I am trans boy but I battle so much internalized transphobia (torwards myself and not others) that having these questions answered will seriously help me.

    Now when I first found out that this stuff is not normal for cis girls I litterly went into a form of shock. I couldn't talk or move, it was like the truth had bashed me in the face and I couldn't hide from facts. I need ya'll to be 100% honest and I apprecatie any answers.

    I need my cis sisters here to say if it is normal and I need my trans rothers here to let me know if thee were things they also thought or did.


    Is it normal for a cis girl to:

    1. Spend lots of time in elementary school trying to pee like a boy.
    2. Have a esentially imaginary penis where you know the size and everything. Like it's kind of just there and you know it's a part of you but you can't actually see is and you even get boners but like nothing is there but it's real in your mind.
    3. Dream that you are the opposite gender at night.
    4. Wanting to use a mens restroom.
    5. When you see a man that's attrective is your one of your first thoughts I'd stilck it in his bum or hen you see a attractive girl would you think suck my ----
    6. To want to be someones boyfriend instead of their girlfriend.
    7. Hate shaving your pits or any other area of your body. And when you first shaved you were litterly forced and cried about it.
    8. To be afraid of your vagina, boobs, and nipples from a very early age.
    9. Want a beard, boy cut hair, and top and bottom surgery.
    10. Obsess over if you are trans or not.
    11. Feel guilty for wanting to wear more masculine clothes.
    okay I have more questions but I'll leave it at that. Thank you so much in advance.
     
  2. Lesbee

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    Hello @I am Cy! Cis lady here.

    1. I have definitely tried this a few times when younger (and got really excited about those "p-mate" funnel things we can use when camping or whatnot as an adult), though I don't know if I'd say I spent "lots" of time trying.
    2. I can kind of relate to that - when I masturbate I think of women, so sometimes I'm imagining having sex with them as though I were a man and can imagine my own penis, but that hasn't been a lifelong thing and that is the only circumstance in which that happens.
    3. I've had all kinds of crazy dreams, but 99.5% of the time I'm myself. Occasionally I "switch places" and I just know I'm a man in the dream, but I am also aware that I am not "me" anymore in that case.
    4. Those things are dirty AF so nope, not with you there. lol. But I do occasionally feel guilty in the ladies' rooms since I find them attractive.
    5. When I'm feeling particularly masculine I've had thoughts along those lines, but again not frequently, and I'm not sure I'd even say it's exactly those thoughts. (I have used a strap on on both male and female partners though, so I think that's partly where that comes from for me - more of a power-based fantasy, likely in response to sexual trauma from my past than a dysphoria sort of experience).
    6. I have not had that thought.
    7. I do hate shaving and have stopped (at least temporarily). I wasn't forced to when I first did - I begged to be able to because I was teased so bad in school. If I hadn't had the pressure of society I can imagine it being a different experience though.
    8. I was more curious about them than afraid.
    9. I've thought of what I'd do with my facial hair if I had a beard, but wouldn't actually want one if I had a choice. I've thought about top surgery sometimes - like I wouldn't be mad if I had to have a double mastectomy and I may not get "replacement" boobs, but I might lean a little non-binary more than some cis women.
    10. I've had thoughts, and tried dressing more masculine including binding to see how it felt, but I never left the house because it just wasn't me. I haven't had more thoughts than that (other than that I just don't think I'd look attractive as a man, so I just work with what I've got lol)
    11. I definitely don't feel guilty about it. I'm just annoyed they don't make the type of clothes I want in my size. (I am pretty small.)

    I hope that helps - also I absolutely LOVE my trans friends and I hope you find peace whatever you discover about yourself. Hugs!
     
  3. Mihael

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    Trans guy but I might be not very typical for a trans person.
    I will write if I share these experiences.

    1. No.
    2. Not really. Or do you mean the phantom sensation? I have that one. It’s not super detailed, but it feels like something should have been there.
    3. I definitely used to before transition.
    4. Also no, I don’t care much for bathrooms. I started to care when I started to have unpleasant situations in the female bathrooms.
    5. Yes. Butts are attractive. And penetrating feels like the right thing to do.
    6. No, because people are people in my mind, I am myself, and a person I love is a person I love not a gender. However, it didn’t feel right to play the role of someone’s girlfriend, because the stereotype is a terribly bad fit.
    7. No, but I dislike shaving, large areas especially. I’m too impatient for it.
    8. No.
    9. Idk. I just want to look like a dude, that’s all. I’m not a fan of beards, so I would shave if I had solid facial hair. I have a men’s haircut. I don’t plan surgery, but it crosses my mind from time to time.
    10. I did. An awful lot.
    11. Yes.

    But the things that I answered no sound like typical trans things.
     
  4. I am Cy

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    I really appreciate your guy's answers alot!
     
  5. Red Sun

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    Hey, I am a cis-female.

    1. I have definitely tried that. It was more of a game for most girls in my primary school, but we did do that.
    2. No.
    3. I have not had any dreams like that. I don't think I particularly paid attention to my gender in dreams.
    4. Absolutely not. I was curious about the men's restroom but when I actually saw it, I was happy with using the ladies' restroom.
    5. No.
    6. Not exactly. I was struggling with internalised homophobia, but after dealing with that, I realised I am happy being a girlfriend.
    7. I dislike shaving. I was curious and enthusiastic about it the first time. Now I just do it.
    8. I was not afraid of them, more intrigued.
    9. I definitely wondered what I would look like if I had a beard. On some days, when I am feeling extra tomboyish, I will get a boy hair cut. I have always felt like my boobs were too big (they aren't) so, I may have a reduction in future. I have never wanted bottom surgery.
    10. I once questioned whether I was trans or not, but I didn't obsess over it. I actually came to learn that I was not.
    11. Absolutely not. I do not feel guilty about preferring masculine clothes. They are so comfortable!

    I want to also say that there is no standard way that cis-females or trans-males behave. Only you can define that for yourself. You may even find that you don't fall under either label. I wish you luck as you discover yourself.
     
  6. Mihael

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    Agreed :slight_smile:
     
  7. Kodo

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    1. Spend lots of time in elementary school trying to pee like a boy - Not really. I just figured I wasn't really given an option because, well, I didn't have a way to pee standing up without getting soaked as a child, haha
    2. Have a esentially imaginary penis where you know the size and everything. Like it's kind of just there and you know it's a part of you but you can't actually see is and you even get boners but like nothing is there but it's real in your mind. - Sometimes I have felt that way, moreso as I've transitioned and had bottom growth, you actually can get a type of "boner" and I imagine it feels similar to a cis guy
    3. Dream that you are the opposite gender at night. - I was always male in my dreams, and I always played male characters in video games (projecting what I wished I could look like onto them)
    4. Wanting to use a mens restroom. - I believed I should have the right to, and most of my life have looked boyish it would have made more sense
    5. When you see a man that's attrective is your one of your first thoughts I'd stilck it in his bum or hen you see a attractive girl would you think suck my ---- Ehem, yes?
    6. To want to be someones boyfriend instead of their girlfriend. - Always, or the prince in the story instead of the princess
    7. Hate shaving your pits or any other area of your body. And when you first shaved you were litterly forced and cried about it. - I stopped shaving at about fifteen because who needs that, I'm now very happy with the body hair testosterone has given me
    8. To be afraid of your vagina, boobs, and nipples from a very early age. - Terrified
    9. Want a beard, boy cut hair, and top and bottom surgery. - Always
    10. Obsess over if you are trans or not. - Intensely
    11. Feel guilty for wanting to wear more masculine clothes. - That's the Christian shame my family instilled in me. But I got over it.