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I need help with this guy who keeps giving mixed signals...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Dave72999, May 22, 2015.

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  1. Dave72999

    Dave72999
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    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
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    A few people
    Ok if your reading this I am very appreciative. There is this guy( let's call him Branden ) who I have a crush on. He and I are in both freshman soon to be sophomores and are both going to be on drumline together for marching band. He and I have a few things in common like music choices,movies,band,humor,ext... But let me cut to the chase. He is one of the "popular" kids in my grade and I'm not as high up on the totem pole as he is and its like on certain days we are bffs but others he ditches me to go see them. And some days he is very nice and others he can be a real pain. But what keeps me after him is I think he is trying to flirt with me when he can(he's quite shy at points and other times far from it). Sometimes he will sit and talk to me and just gaze into my eyes. He will interrupt me when I'm talking with a really funny joke and I him and then we can get into really deep conversations about how we feel about band and such. But other days he's so infatuated with being in the popular crowd. Some days I can catch him looking at me and he looks away or to the person next to me when I catch him and its so cute. He knows I'm bisexual actually, when I did come out, he was way more accepting doesn't treat me any different. But when I bring up the topic he will shy away. But when I make a move to touch him he almost jerks away or seems uncomfortable with it while other times he has touched me. I've called him cute on occasions and he didn't mind and on other occasions he said ok let's back off. I can't tell what he's going for since some days he really loves being around me and others he acts like I don't exist. One more thing.... He and I have shared a few personal things but he won't ever talk about his past relationship with his girlfriend. They just broke up for no reason. And when the best looking girl in school asked him out he practically declined for no reason I'm aware of... All I know is he's driving me crazy with all this and I need to know if I'm wasting my time or if something is there. Thank you for reading I ready am grateful... Please.. Help!!!
     
    #1 Dave72999, May 22, 2015
  2. still ill

    still ill
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    Well first off, are you in high school or college, not that it matters much. My opinion is that he may be interested in men but since he is a popular kid he is having a hard time internally "coming out" to himself or is just afraid to talk to the bisexual male (you) becuase he is afraid that a friend will tease him or make false accusations about him. He seems to care about you so don't question that, since he does have deep conversations and touches you on some occasions. I think he still unsure about who he is (he may be questioning his sexuality) and may also be struggling with maintaining his high status in school (even if he doesn't stay true to himself). The best bet is to just be nice to him and not expect anything in return because he may be going through a rough time if he is confused. If anything, I think you would want him to be happy and if you feel like you really need an answer then call him out on his actions. I hope this helps you. Stay strong
     
    #2 still ill, May 22, 2015
  3. Dave72999

    Dave72999
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    Location:
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    Ok thanks. This is really helpful cause my friends just don't understand since they are straight. They don't understand how hard it can be to find if someone is out or not AND see if they're interested. I will try giving it a few more months since he won't be this way over summer rehearsals. But if its still the same I think maybe remaining friends would be the best thing. Thanks so much!
     
    #3 Dave72999, May 23, 2015
  4. Sek

    Sek
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    He may be having an internal battle with himself about coming out. It's a scary process and it's one he must overcome by his own choice. If he wants to get closer and feels like he can trust you, he will. Until that happens (if he is interested in men), you just gotta support him and not pressure him. Being forced out of the closet is an awful experience. Keep being yourself and keep being a good friend to him. :slight_smile:
     
    #4 Sek, May 23, 2015
  5. still ill

    still ill
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    @Dave72999 Yes, it is a shame that we live in such a heteronormative world. Straight people take for granted the advantages they have. Regardless, I think dating/liking someone is always hard for everyone. Good luck :slight_smile:
     
    #5 still ill, May 23, 2015
  6. Dave72999

    Dave72999
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    Location:
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    Bisexual
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    A few people
    I'd also like to ask if there is a reason that he will never text me back like ever? I will text maybe every couple of days to a week or so(I do with just about all of my friends) and I'm lucky if he will answer. Only time he has answered me is if I ask for a homework assignment. He almost never fails for that but as I said, that's only when he feels like answering. I know he's probably got something going on but he never answers me. And if I ask if like ever wants to hang out he always says he is busy. He set aside time for a school project at a friends house but never to hangout with me(and as far as I know anyone else) away from school.
     
    #6 Dave72999, May 24, 2015
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