Hey there. I'm Mattie but I go by Matt most of the time. I'm 18 and currently in a relationship with a male. But I have been having ideas or thoughts of being attracted to females. It has been going on for months and I don't understand. I'm attracted to my best friend who is the sweetest gal in the world. Sometimes I catch myself looking at her in a different way or wanting to just lean in and kiss her but I know I would get pushed away. I come from a catholic family and I don't understand. Help!
If you want to kiss another female and look at her romantically then you're probably not straight. Are you attracted to your boyfriend? Which gender do you like thinking about more? It can be hard to tell whether it's bisexuality or homosexuality sometimes because people are so used to being expected to be attracted to the opposite gender, they actually develop an attraction just to fit in even if the attraction isn't real.
Yes I am attracted to my boyfriend, but I don't think of one over another. I don't often think of people in a sexual or romantic way but its been evident more that I am somewhat attracted to my best friend.
Hey welcome to EC. This is an awesome place I'm sure people here can help you figure things out. How long have you been with your boyfriend? When did you first notice the feelings for your friend? Is she the only female you feel you have had feelings for?
Well, I've noticed other feelings like this before towards girls but yes. She is the only one I have has felings for. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now
Well, sometimes things can take us by surprise. Sometimes it takes a long time to recognize feelings.
Forgetting for a moment your feelings towards this girl, how would you say your relationship with your boyfriend is?
I understand. It sounds like you love your boyfriend. That must make your feelings for this girl more confusing. Try to imagine if you weren't with your boyfriend, would you want to date your friend?
Yeah Yeah I think I would if she was into girls. The truth is I don't know if she is. She's never had a boyfriend and always refers to me as the dominant one in our relationship. Shes from a very strict catholic family too.
I I think she's amazing and sweet and funny and talented and a joy to be around. I love getting to see her.
Well those are definitely good reasons. Her comment about you being the dominant in the relationship is an odd thing for a straight girl to say. And you don't really have proof she's straight right? I mean has she ever said she's straight?
Also just because she is religious does not mean she isn't queer. She might just be in the closet. And I actually know plenty of catholics that are fine with gay people.
Sorry, I should clarify. I meant to say that the current pope is supportive of gay people. We've come a long way.
This is important. Are you with him because you like him as a person only or do you find him attractive? If you were to compare how attractive you find your boyfriend with how attractive you find your friend which is more attractive to you?
Basically, I think you sound bi to me. Everything you wrote seems to point that way. You say you are attracted to your boyfriend and this girl. I think now the question is, are you happy in your current relationship with your boyfriend as it is? Do you want to be with your friend assuming she wants to be with you? What do YOU want to do?
