I’m new here and wanted to introduce myself. I’m in my thirties and have been married to my wife for about two years—we’ve been together for ten. About a month ago, I came out to her as gay. This has been a huge turning point in my life, and I’m navigating a lot of emotions and changes, so I’m here looking for advice and support. A bit of backstory: My wife and I opened our marriage about six months ago, partly because she is bisexual and wanted to explore that side of herself more. Before we could fully define what an open relationship would look like for us, she began seeing a woman. This led to some trust issues, as I later found out she wasn’t honest with me about continuing the relationship with her girlfriend. We’ve been working through those challenges for the past few months, and despite the rocky patches, we’ve started to have the most open and honest communication we’ve had in years. For me, coming out as gay feels like I’m finally being true to myself. I’ve been sober for a few years (I’m an alcoholic) and recently went off my anxiety meds. This clarity has helped me confront something I’d suppressed for most of my life: I’m gay. It’s been overwhelming but also freeing. While my wife has a girlfriend, I’m just starting to explore what this means for me. I’ve never been in a relationship with a man or even dated anyone but my wife in over a decade. The thought of figuring out where to start is incredibly overwhelming. I’ve told about ten close friends, and thankfully, they’ve been very supportive. But I haven’t come out to my family yet—they’re very conservative, and I don’t feel safe sharing this with them right now. I thought when I came out I would be much happier, but I have found myself feeling very alone. I feel like I’m standing at the edge of a completely new chapter of my life, and I don’t know how to take the first step. How do I meet people? How do I navigate dating as a gay man when I’ve never done it before? I’d love any advice or resources you all might have to help me figure this out. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I’m looking forward to connecting with this community.
Welcome to EC. I think I understand how you must feel because I'm a married man and have fairly recently come to the full realisation that I'm bisexual. As I've discussed on other threads here, I identify as bisexual rather than gay because of my marriage and the fact that I still want to be with my wife, but more due to the fact that, while I know that I've always been attracted to men, like you I've never had a relationship with a man and no sexual experience with men. I'm now 61, and the thought of the dating game is well beyond me whether I wanted to be straight or gay, so I can't give you advice on how to go about it, but I like to share my thoughts and experiences on this site in the hope that I help others to navigate their own situation. Being here is a good first step.
michiganman92.....Hello and a great LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent!) when that becomes necessary! *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out and join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When I first joined Empty Closets I was in need of a lot of support and encouragement and I found it here…EC is a safe place. I hope that you'll find good things here too! Folks here will talk to you and share...you don't have to be afraid of asking questions...we're glad to have you! Empty Closets is all about making connections and giving LGBT folks a voice when they otherwise don't have one in their day-to-day lives. *****In particular you may want to check out the forum that is titled "Sexual Orientation”, there are people there who have dealt with some of the same kind of issues that could be challenging you. Some info on how to navigate EC: When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something" When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now, you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership. *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can always send me a Private Message. .....David
