I've been friends with this guy from my school for approximately two years. I think he's a very charming, sweet, and funny guy that I generally care a lot about. He's also pretty hot and one of the most popular kids at school. I've never felt this way about anyone else before and he makes me feel very safe. He's one of the few people I came out to and discussed my mental health issues with. I told him I had a crush on him about 3 months ago. He was pretty chill about it but he didn't give me a definite response as to how he felt. He just said that he doesn't know how to feel but he doesn't hate me. That honestly fucked me up so bad because I didn't know what he was confused about. Was it his sexuality? His ex? Me? I just told him to forget about it and told him I didn't want anything to change within our friendship. I just assumed he was straight and I guess he lead me on for a while and I guess he lead me on for a while. I started to avoid him, but eventually the weird awkwardness disappeared and we started to hang out again more often. We go to Starbucks regularly after school and sometimes he does these weird small things. He always offers to buy me food or a drink, he lies down on my lap sometimes, calls me baby, he grabs my hand but then slams it onto the table (idk don't ask) and it really confuses me. He only started to act in weird, flirty ways after I confessed to him. I don't know what these signs mean or if I'm overthinking it. Could it just be one of those "bro" things? My friends all say I can do better than him and he's probably using me for attention or affection and purposely leading me on. I'm really confused and idk if I should talk to him about it. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks! <3
Your friend has feelings for you too. What you described here is pretty much how I acted after my friend told me he had feelings for me. I thought I was straight but once I started looking at him in that kind of a way it felt different. It was really confusing and I didn't know what was happening so that's probably what your friend meant by he doesn't know how to feel. He lays on you because it makes him feel good and he doesn't know why but wants to keep feeling that way. The table slamming thing is a way to hold hands with you without feeling like he is actually holding a guys hand and he calls you baby because he wants to see how it makes him feel and how you react to it, if you like it when he says it. I don't think he is using you, it sounds like he is attracted to you but doesn't know what to do about how he feels. By the way that friend I acted that way with - we've been dating for about two months now. Maybe your friend will feel the same way about you that I felt about my boyfriend. If you ask him about it be gentle though since he might get scared and deny how he feels if he thinks its going too fast.
] Wow, did you have any feelings that you might like guys before this happened before your friend started getting close to you? (Sorry to hijack the thread). One of my "straight" friends once held hands with me to see what it felt like lol
Nope. I had never even thought of a guy that way before - I was on school sports teams for years so was around teammates changing in the locker rooms every week and saw them naked all the time and never cared at all, there were no feelings back then. I guess it was all just repressed or something.
