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I like this girl but she is being really confusing.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by gurlinred, Jun 10, 2020.

  1. gurlinred

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    Hey, ok so I don't really know what to do right now. I hope yall are feeling great. I need some advice.

    So for a few weeks now I started realizing that I have a big crush on my best friend. I have known her for almost four years now, and we are really close. She and I talk all the time, and sometimes I get butterflies just thinking about her.

    She is more into guys but she likes girls too if telling you that helps. We dated a year ago, it lasted a day. She told me that she liked me better as a friend.

    Today when we were talking, I sorta told her I liked her. And she told me that she already knew. When I like someone she can always tell, I am really bad at covering this stuff up. I don't really know why I told her, I guess I just wanted her to say she likes me too but she doesn't. Even though she totally flirts with me all the time.

    I don't need her to say she likes me back, I just need her to say more than "yeah I already knew". I just wanna know how she and I stand in our relationship. She won't talk about it with me though, she really hates confrontation and so do I. I really wanna stay friends with her no matter what. But I really need her to at least talk to me about my feelings for her so we can clear things up.

    Any advice or just someone telling me that I am not crazy would be great.
    -thanks-
     
    #1 gurlinred, Jun 10, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2020
  2. LostInDaydreams

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    What specifically do you need to be cleared up? If her behaviour around you has changed and she seems uncomfortable, then that might be something to discuss. Do you need her to stop flirting with you? Again, that would be worth discussing. Do you need some space? If so, yes, tell her that you do.

    You can’t force her to return your feelings and the idea of a conversation about it might be really uncomfortable to her.

    As your best friend, has she shown any concern for you at all? Her response seems pretty unfeeling, though she was possibly caught off guard and didn’t know what to say. Assuming she doesn’t return your feelings, a good response from her would be her being clear about how it’s not returned and offering to do her part to help you get past this, i.e. not contacting you for a few weeks or whatever.

    Do you think it’s at all possible that she enjoys the attention and the flirting? It boosts how she feels about herself? She says she knew you liked her, but despite this still flirts with you. Unless she does like you, and it appears that she doesn’t, then that’s not kind.

    I would suggest that you focus on yourself and do what you need to do to get past this.
     
    #2 LostInDaydreams, Jun 11, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2020
    gurlinred likes this.
  3. gurlinred

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    Thank you so much!
     
  4. La Corbeau

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    I think what you need to do is have an honest conversation with this friend. @LostInDaydreams is right, she may have been caught off guard by your confession and blurted that out. It sounds like something I would do, to be honest. Confrontation sucks, but it's better than staying silent through an ever-widening rift in your relationship. And if she really doesn't like you back, she doesn't like you back. Clearly your friendship is very important to you, and I wouldn't want you to lose it over this.
     
  5. LostInDaydreams

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    Let us know how it works out. :slight_smile: