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I like my best friend....

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Lorelai, Nov 17, 2020.

  1. Lorelai

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    Okay, so, I really like my best friend. She's the same age as me, we go to the same school, and whenever I'm around her, I just smile.. She's super sweet, but tough, a total badass when things go crazy, looks amazing every single day, and, she's also bisexual too. But she has a boyfriend, and if I tell her how I feel, it might ruin our friendship. Ughhhhhh......
     
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  2. QuietPeace

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    I do not recommend telling anyone who is in a relationship with someone else that you are attracted to them or interested in them in any way other than as a friend.
     
  3. BiGemini87

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    It's a sticky situation. On one hand, keeping it bottled up can be so stressful. On the other, telling her how you feel could wind up complicating things.

    I guess if you need to get it off your chest, you could write a sort of letter to her--but not one you'll actually give. Or you could tell her how you feel, but make it clear you don't expect anything from her and that you don't want it to hurt your friendship.

    The problem with this last approach (I've learned from personal experience), is that even if you want it to be, it's not always true. Or it becomes harder to keep it true as time wears on. Things might get awkward, or if they don't, you might feel you can be more open about your feelings and it eventually leads to awkwardness between you.

    I suppose another question would be: Do you think she shares your feelings, despite being in a relationship? Has she ever given you any indication that there's more to your friendship than friendship? Even if this is the case, I strongly recommend not getting between her and bet boyfriend.

    Should they break up (and once an appropriate amount of time has passed, in which she may need your friendship to pull her through whatever she's feeling) you could tell her then. But if they break up and being close to her when she's dealing with the blues hurts you, it might be better to keep your distance.

    To make a confusing post less confusing, I'll just say what you do or don't do is up to you. It's not an easy decision, one way or another, but I think if you weigh the pros and cons, you'll eventually arrive at your answer.
     
  4. Lucy Marie

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    Hello there!
    My question to you:

    Will approaching your friend be good for her or you?

    Since she is your best friend I am thinking that you have platonic love for her as best friend. And, at the very least approaching her will alter your relationship—what happens then? What happens if she says no? Or yes? What do you see as next step in either case?

    You have gotten advice, good advice, here but ultimately it is on you. Just be prepared for fall out. If you need to talk more—I am available.

    ((momhugs))
     
  5. Starborn

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    Hi...three years ago, I had the same feeling. I wanted to tell my best friend that I liked her and even asked her on a date, but she though I was kidding she just ignored me. I wasn’t exactly heartbroken but, it still kinda hurt when she found a boyfriend in a week and the guy was a nice guy. So I know what you mean and I feel what you are going through. If I was in your place, I would not risk our friendship, I mean are you ready to lose her..and what if something happens that u didn’t expect it happens, are you sure you want to go through it.