I recently realized that I'm into a friend of mine. We've only been friends for a few months, but we're already quite close. We're a lot a like. I think that's part of the reason I like her; I've never met anyone who seems more compatible. Anyway, we're both asexual women whose first girlfriends were not asexual. Only, my experience was a lot better than hers. I was still figuring myself out at the time and the woman I was seeing was totally respectful and conscientious. But when we realized my priority was romance and hers was sex, we went our separate ways with no hard feelings. Her girlfriend was coercive and abusive and more than a year after they broke up, she still (understandably) quite effected by it. She seems into me, but I don't her to feel like I only befriended her to try and date her. I know she's felt used in the past, and I don't want to feel like I expect anything but her friendship. If possible, I'd like to ask her out in the distant future. But I don't know when or how I'd go about it. I also feel a little weird because she's a couple years younger than me. It's not a huge deal, as we're both adults, but she's still a teenager and I'm not. Is 2 years + change too much of an age gap at our ages?
By both adults but "technically a teenager" do you mean 18 and 20? Because I don't really consider that a big deal in most cases. 18 and 25 would be pushing it, though, depending on the situation. You may just have to ease into the idea as nothing will happen otherwise.
That depends on where you are too. If you're in the US, it could feel strange for you to be able to legally drink when she can't, but if you're not into going to those places it becomes less strange. A 2 year age difference is fine to me past the adolescent years. I dated someone two years younger as well, and although it felt weird at the time...it was technically legal with no power imbalances. I wouldn't worry too much about it.
I also don't see a problem with her being 19 and you 21. I think if you really like her you should speak to her, by the sounds of it you're a good friend and I'd like to think she'd know your intentions weren't to befriend her just to date her (especially if you tell her that).
I agree as long as you word it in the right way I don't think she will think that. I'm sure she will be flattered.
