1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I know I'm homosexual but I don't like many men...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by max95, Aug 31, 2019.

  1. max95

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2019
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Catalonia, Spain
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm new to this forum... I need some help about my sexuality.

    Well, my problem is that I'm a guy, love dicks too much and male bodies really attract me sexually. However, falling in love with a girl seems to be much easier for me. I have been thinking about a dating a transgeder (a girl with a dick), but I know transgeders face discrimination and they don't have it so easy to hide their gender identifying. So, I wouldn't like to get involved if something happens to her because I'm a sensitive person and if I'm not even able to defend myself, how would I defend her? :frowning2:

    I don't know what should I do because if I like guys, they have to be very cute. Otherwise, it's not very easy for me to fall in love with them. I mostly dislike bearded guys and I feel like I care too much about their appareance in order to have a crush with one while all this doesn't happen to me when it comes to girls. I like almost all girls.

    What should I do? I'm so confused...

    I even had to refuse being a boyfriend of a guy I met on a dating site because I didn't like how he looks like :slight_frown:

    Thank you in advance!
     
  2. Athexant

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2015
    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    30
    Location:
    Maryland
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    Let me just start by saying that if you love men, you love men. Dating a woman might be easier for you socially, but if you're looking for something "easy," it can be insulting to the person you're with. You should date someone because you like them as a person and are attracted to them, not because it's convenient for you. Secondly, trans woman are real women, and it can be very insulting to refer to them as "transgenders" or "girls with dicks." Transgender is an adjective; the correct way to refer to the person you're describing is a transgender woman. Trans people face dysphoria about their bodies and may not be comfortable with the anatomy they're born with. Again, if you're only interested in a trans woman because of what she has in her pants, you're discrediting who she is as a person.

    Love is not easy. It can start with being attracted to someone physically, but for the majority of people, love is something that develops with effort. Get to know people, even if you don't initially find them attractive. As you get to know each other, they may become more attractive to you. And secondly, love often doesn't come to people actively looking for it because they spend so much time trying to find something "perfect," and they're generally unhappy because perfection doesn't exist. Love often develops when we least expect it. So get to know some people, build some friendships, stop worrying about finding love. Be true to who you are. If you love men, you love men. And above all, date people because you like who they are, not for convenience. That can really hurt the other person.
     
    Devil Dave and Samuel1234 like this.
  3. Samuel1234

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2019
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Austria
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi Max!

    I'm just like you.
    I just discovered that I like guys, (I'm a guy too) but I'm really just into slim guys with soft lips and without a beard. I think that looks and sexual attraction does play an important role in a relationship. It's hard to find a guy that fits for you, but I know that if you continue looking for the right guy, with time, you will find someone. That's the only peace of advice I can give you, as I am not very experienced with relationships at all. Maybe get together with an lgbt community to find a guy that fits for you.
    Be patient and keep searching.
    Wishing you the best!
    Yours sincerely,

    Sam
     
    max95 likes this.
  4. max95

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2019
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Catalonia, Spain
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    So, according to you I should date someone who can't satisfy my sexual desires, right? Women don't really attract me sexually, I don't like vagina nor I don't like tits. I can't imagine myself having sex with a female also because I'm submissive/bottom and a women doesn't have anything to put inside me. Women just attract me romantically. As for "transgender" term goes, I'll keep what you said in mind...

    I'm glad to see I'm not the only one :slight_smile: I guess you're right, I just need to find a man who seems attractive to me.
     
    Samuel1234 likes this.
  5. Samuel1234

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2019
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Austria
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Finding someone that is attracted to you like you are to them is really tricky. Even finding any other gay guys is hard. Feels good to find another person with the same struggles :slight_smile:
     
    max95 likes this.
  6. max95

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2019
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Catalonia, Spain
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Well, we can find other gay guys in gay dating apps... But yeah, it's even harder for me because despite I'm 24 years old, I look much younger than my age and I have a pretty young looking. Many people think I'm 18 or younger when I'm not, so finding someone who would be okay with that is kinda hard because I prefer young looking guys like me as well. I've recently met a gay guy on discord and he's like me, he's 24 and he has a young looking, I found him very cute but apparently he's not very interested on me :frowning2:
     
  7. Samuel1234

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 29, 2019
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Austria
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I have never been in a relationship with a guy. I'm just starting to figure things out. I'm also very sceptical about dating apps. I just don't trust strangers.
     
    max95 likes this.
  8. max95

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2019
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Catalonia, Spain
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    That's true, it's better to get to know that person and talk to them for a while before a real encounter.
     
  9. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    15,681
    Likes Received:
    3,535
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    If you think about it, in most cases, the people we meet to date are strangers when we meet them (unless we've met them through friends.) So I personally wouldn't rule out someone solely because I met them on a dating app. I would, however, be cautious, meet the person in a public place, perhaps talk to them over text or email and then Skype for a bit first. But I don't think there's any reason to simply rule someone out because of how I came in contact with him or her.
     
    Contented, max95 and Chiroptera like this.
  10. max95

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2019
    Messages:
    21
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Catalonia, Spain
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I think the same... and as for dating gay guys goes, the only choice you have is meeting strangers on internet unless you have friends in real life that you know they are gay/bi/pansexual. In my case, I would have to date a stranger on internet because I don't know anyone who is LGBT and I'm scared of asking them.
     
  11. Athexant

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2015
    Messages:
    113
    Likes Received:
    30
    Location:
    Maryland
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    All but family
    No, that's not what I meant in my message. I interpreted your original post as you saying that you wanted to date women because it was easier for you and that you couldn't find any men you were attracted to. The people you're dating should satisfy you romantically and sexually. Sex is important in relationships. I was just saying that you shouldn't date women if you have no interest in women. And what I meant in the second part of my post was that it's important to be attracted to someone you're dating, but sometimes, you may not find someone attractive until after you've known them for a while. Feelings can develop over time. You were worried that you haven't really found many guys that you're attracted to yet, and I was trying to reassure you that there are other ways of finding cute people.