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I kissed him. I don't wanna be gay!!!!!! :(

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by justinf, Feb 27, 2012.

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  1. Merlot

    Merlot
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    #21 Merlot, Feb 28, 2012
  2. Branconegro

    Branconegro
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    I´m sorry for your pain. I really don´t know how to deal with this situation, but is good for you to vent.

    Hope everything goes well with you.

    Big hugs! (*hug*)
     
    #22 Branconegro, Feb 29, 2012
  3. justinf

    justinf
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    Out to everyone
    I would just like to say about this, that I am not homophobic at all. He's my best friend and he is 100% gay and I don't mind that at all. I don't think there's anything wrong with the fact that he likes guys, and I certainly do not believe in one specific gay culture... people who don't know my friend would never guess he's gay, he's just like everyone else, except for the fact that he happens to be into guys... This is really how I truly feel.
    It's only when I started questioning myself that I began having these, well, "homophobic" feelings I guess you can indeed call them, but that's only aimed at myself, not others.


    Oh, well then it's definitely the first. A relationship with a guy sounds completely weird and quite frankly the idea scares the hell out of me.

    I guess you're right about that.


    Thanks, once again, for the support, guys :slight_smile:
     
    #23 justinf, Feb 29, 2012
  4. Loras

    Loras
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    This is exactly what i went through, i had a gf we had been dating for 2 years and one night at a party i hooked up with a gay friend. Then I broke up with my GF that night and for the next few months i hated myself slept with girls to make sure i was straight because thats all i wanted was to not be gay. Then after a while the idea of being gay grew on me and now im completly comfortable with myself. So i recomend you give it time and try not to think about it.

    Im out to a lot of my friends now and i tell them im completly gay but i tell them if i meet the perfect women i wouldnt think twice in trying to make a relationship work with her.
    anyway you might find out tomoro its only a phase your going through
     
    #24 Loras, Feb 29, 2012
  5. TriCube

    TriCube
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    I have not yet found out if that's what made me feel the way I do. Growing up, I convinced myself that it rewired my brain. Before these certain events, I chased girls on the playground, flirted, had crushes, even kissed. I don't know what to think about it now, but I can't go back and change anything. I'm slowly starting to realize that and beginning to just go with the flow. Although that's partially out of desperation for curing the miserable parts in my life.


    I don't know if it's normal, but I feel that way too, honestly. It doesn't sound like you're homophobic, but I know how you feel. To me, it was the "stuff" that happened that made it just feel unnatural, putting me off the course I was supposed to be on. My life was going ok, then something happened and changed it. I dwell on "what if" thoughts: "What if it had never happened. What if I'm wrong. What if I'm just desperate." Would I be living a normal life, the one I was supposed to have? I felt like that life was taken away from me.

    Like I said, I'm beginning to realize there's nothing I can do anymore to change it. These are more my thoughts, though, and may not pertain to your situation.
     
    #25 TriCube, Feb 29, 2012
    Koset likes this.
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