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I just wanted to get this off my chest.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Sealgirl19, Oct 24, 2017.

  1. Sealgirl19

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    I'm getting sick of these "Lesbian support groups".

    Those groups on social media that are like "Fems that love fems" or "Lesbian love" and it's mostly videos of two lesbian women smashing face, random pics of "pretty passing" women looks for dates, and some random anon question about women who like to air their dirty laundry about their relationship so that other women can just read it and tell them how silly their significant other is or something like that. Plus don't get me started on some groups that charges you a membership fee to speak with other lesbians.

    I'm honestly just getting tired of lesbianism on social media in general. I feel like there's no space were we can just have casual conversation, find like minded people, and not have to feel not beautiful because you don't fit what the admins are looking for.

    This is more of a rant and I'm not sure if I'm just looking in all the wrong places or maybe need to stay away from social media to meet more lesbian women. It's just getting infuriating at this point.
     
    #1 Sealgirl19, Oct 24, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2017
  2. Creativemind

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    I honestly can't stand the lesbian community as a whole, so I totally get where you are coming from. I feel like other lesbians want to put people into a box and speak for everyone else in the entire community. :/
     
  3. Sealgirl19

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    I glad I'm not the only one who sees this. It almost makes the community as a whole uninviting for new lesbians. I know for myself it has made harder for me to find my space.
     
  4. Creativemind

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    It's what's made me value friendships with straight people and other types of XGBT people even more. I think when someone just comes out, there is this obsession with lesbian friendship, but I find it overrated at this point since my experience now tells me that "same sexuality =/= any kind of understanding". That's not to say I wouldn't want to be friends with another lesbian, but I no longer put those kind of friendships on a pedestal because of all the bad experience I have had.

    Once, I had a group of lesbian friends, and was so excited to find people like me. But wow....it really went down hill. One of my friends was so obsessed with being gay that it dominated every topic of conversation. I don't mind talking about LGBT issues, but quickly got annoyed that she was so focused on my sexuality that she ignored every other part of me that I enjoyed talking about. She also tried to police my sexuality "How are you a lesbian if you're friends with guys? Or if you like some male characters...or if you write about male characters or heterosexual couples?" (Uh...maybe because I don't hate men and I'm secure in my sexuality)

    Ironically, the best support I ever got for my sexuality were from straight people and aro aces. The highest level of prejudice I ever got were from other lesbians who wanted to box everyone into the same category.

    It would be nice to find another lesbian who gets it, but it hasn't been my experience thus far.
     
    #4 Creativemind, Oct 25, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2017
  5. TrevinMichael

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    sometimes people are just together but they are not really good friends no matter what the reason is to be around each other.

    the real reason to be with others is because you care and love them

    sometimes I prefer being with animals over some people
     
  6. MHJG

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    I’m not so sure about the support groups because they’re not popular in my area. One thing I hate is the pride parades. Many guys just wear underwear walking on the street. It makes everything so sexual.
     
  7. Jackie Ray

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    Yeah I agree, unfortunately they get all of the media attention so heterosexual people assume we are all like that.

    @Sealgirl19 our community is becoming so mainstream that a lot of what once united us is gone and we are just as shallow as everyone else.
     
    #7 Jackie Ray, Oct 25, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2017
  8. canadawet

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    I relate to so much of what everyone's saying here, especially with the original point. The level of elitism that comes out of a lot of lesbian communities really puts me off. I avoid strictly lesbian spaces because I just know I'm going to see silly arguing about who's a "real lesbian," biphobia, transphobia, misandry, and all kinds of stupid drama from people who have nothing remotely interesting about them (and being gay doesn't count no matter how much they'd like it to.) It's like Horseshoe theory but with douchey, homophobic straight guys and catty, sexist lesbians.
     
  9. Elendil

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    This is the main reason I don't go to pride parades. Don't get me wrong, I like looking at skin as much as the next guy, but it sends the message that the gay community is all about sex and reinforces some of the stereotypes the media spreads. There's more to us than that.
     
  10. Jackie Ray

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    You are 100% right, maybe we should start our own pride event, where we wear our work clothes and bring our families with us.Then people would realize we are just like everyone else.
     
  11. Kinley

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    Thats is an awesome idea. We should totally do that. By the way I am coming out to my parents soon. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :grin:
     
  12. Jackie Ray

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    Yeah we could bring our pets too.


    Good luck with that, I have never came out to anyone in my biological family. But my new adopted family always knew me for who I was.
     
  13. Jackie Ray

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    @Kinley I just saw that youre in Lincoln, I went there for a wedding in July what a wonderful place to be a lesbian. I saw a lot of lovely looking women. As far as advice, if your parents are like everyone I met when I was there you should be fine, Nebraska folk were the most polite people Ive ever met. And your city is so clean too, you could eat off the streets.
     
  14. GalleyGirl

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    I do get the thing about the lgbt community being viewed as overtly sexual. I mean if that's your thing awesome, but every other lgbt person is not necessarily like that.
     
  15. Sealgirl19

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    It's not generally towards the community. Ou
    Sit your parents down and tell. It's so much better than them finding out through a different source.
     
  16. Sealgirl19

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    I would prefer pridefest to be a little more family friendly. I remember going to one parade and noticed that people were throwing condoms from the floats where children were.

    I don't mind being out and proud but be mindful.
     
  17. Kinley

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    Thanks
     
  18. Marchocias

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    I can't personally relate to an exact T, being bi and actively avoidant of places like Facebook (aside from Tumblr), but I hear a similar sentiment from a nonbinary lesbian acquaintance and I get my fair share of not being conventionally attractive enough to be fetishized by gross individuals trying to stereotype me.

    It feels and seems like these types of groups are more devoted to physical attraction than, y'know, not making people feel like they're alone and have a community at their fingertips. It's a bit like running in a circle, chasing your own tail, when you're more devoted to highlighting the "pretty" ones over highlighting the fact that literally anyone can be not-het and that they're not alone in that. Lesbians and bisexual women are both fetishized for their attraction to women and playing into that (on purpose or not) is so... Infuriating! (Anything else I could say in addition was already put by @canadawet and without the outsider veneer.)