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i just want to vibe

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by kinoko, Apr 26, 2021.

  1. kinoko

    Regular Member

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    Out Status:
    A few people
    i have been questioning my gender for a little over a year now, and although i havent made much progress, heres what i think so far:
    im not a man or a woman, i know that much. i like to be feminine, because it makes me feel pretty, but when i talk to myself (thats another issue for another day) i call myself girlie, man, dude, and other really gendered things, but it makes me really uncomfortable when others do that. does that make sense?
    i feel like gender just isn't applicable to me. it slides right off of me. i've been using they/them pronouns (with the few people im out to) but it feels weird, and i don't know if i have the confidence to use it/its.
    the term apogender fits, i guess, but it feels like im labeling something that doesn't exist in the first place.

    thanks for reading <3
     
  2. QuietPeace

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Welcome to EC.

    I know someone who does use it/its as pronouns and is pretty adamant about doing so, correcting people when they use she/her (it is AFAB). If a pronoun works best for you then I think that you should use that pronoun whether you end up using it/its or they/them or even one of the more esoteric combinations (a friend of mine uses sie/hir or zie/zir). I had to look up the gender label that you use, one problem with using very esoteric labels is that you then have to explain things to everyone even other LGBT+ people. It is my belief that labels are for communicating and should not define us or limit us. It seems to me that just telling people that you are agender (which states simply that you have no gender) and then telling them the pronouns that they should use for you (as in the case of my acquaintance saying "please use it/its or at least they/them if you have to") should be simpler. Asking people to use certain pronouns get easier as you do it more often, doing so could also help you find which ones feel best for you. There is also a thread here where you can experiment with names and pronouns to see how they feel for you.