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I have reached an apex my freinds

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by And it exploded, Dec 26, 2017.

  1. And it exploded

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    The 10th dimension
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    A few people
    to quickly summarize I now know I'm a gay girl or a straight man.

    Let me explain

    The idea of me being trans has come about very recently but it's really been eating me up. When I was young (with the exception of 3 people, one of which I've lost touch with and the other is trans) I was always freinds with boys. I related to them more. I never understood how girls brains work. Which makes so fuckin scene since I AM a girl...supposedly. I've always felt really uncomfortable when people call me "girl" or some other equivalent phrase. I mean ya get used to "she" but "GIRL"? I've always really hated my boobs. I thought they where too small while knowing in the back of my head that if they where any bigger I would DIE. That's a common symptom, denying your dysphoria by trying to be more feminine. In face recently I've felt really bad for not being a "feminine woman" even thought I knew that was stupid logically. Hell I've even picked a boys name for myself. It's Winston, inspired by Winston Churchill of course. And my middle name is too feminine too so ide change it to tesla after nikola tesla, the great unappreciated genius. God I'm a nerd. I just got those stupid coming out fears we all have "what if it's a phase, what if people hate me, what if I regret this" all that crap. (Side note me bottom dysphoria is there but it's not as intense but I have a feeling it will be when/if I start presenting as male)
     
  2. XefrAce

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    52
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    25
    Location:
    Alternia
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I have had similar experiences. I always tended to relate with guys more and i had a lot more guy friends. Being called a girl or woman always felt off (especially woman), while on the other hand when i occasionally get called sir i felt a little rush of happiness. I have a small chest but i'm thankful for that because if i'm wearing a sports bra and hoodie my chest looks fairly flat.

    I have those fears right now, and yeah they suck. Personally it help if i think back on moments of my childhood that helps justify feeling trans. Having supportive friends is also a huge boon.

    Side note i love your icon.
     
  3. And it exploded

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2017
    Messages:
    94
    Likes Received:
    21
    Location:
    The 10th dimension
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    A few people
    It's from the nostalgia critics review of captain n, thanks for the reply!