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I hate heterosexism.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by chaoticheart, Aug 17, 2017.

  1. chaoticheart

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    In girls' magazines there are always tips for flirting with boys, dating boys, understanding boys.. In men's magazines there are posters of sexualized women..
    In TV-shows and media in general they are talking about what all the women like about men and what all the men like about women. Like, people that are attracted to their own gender wouldn't exist or are some freaks that aren't worth talking about.
    Yes, the majority of people is straight but there are still people that are NOT straight. We exist. We have feelings, too. Even though we are a minority there are still many of us. It makes us invisible, feel like some freaks.
    So, it's literally false to say that all the women like certain traits about men and vice versa because there are woman out there that are not attracted to men and men that are not attracted to woman. Even though, they are not the majority, they are still woman and men, too. There are people that don't even fit into the categories "men" or "woman".
    What do they think when they send those messages? Something like: "Most of people are straight, so let's ignore the people that are not. They, don't matter."?
    Ugh, sometimes it's even worse than homophobia because homophobic people at least notice we EXIST.
    That said as a homoflexible woman who is only attracted to one certain man and not at all to the rest of them.
    That said as a homoflexible woman with a male partner.
     
  2. SHACH

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    I dunno I feel like when I was growing up lesbians at least were pretty much a hidden slightly taboo thing (gay men were on TV a lot as some sort of fun flamboyant stereotype at least). But in the last couple of years its become less like that and even straight girls like lesbian characters on TV shows, and such (tho most of these well known shows aren't on British TV so I have to get them online). All of the super hetero stuff I see annoys me sometimes, but mainly only when I'm considering whether I should still try dating some guys because I'm technically bi (maybe homoflexible like you). When I let myself live in fantasy lesbian land these days theres enough in the public eye to keep me going - lesbian characters, celebrities coming out, youtube etc. Its when I think about dating guys that these weird hetero standards really weird me out and put me off.
     
  3. Creativemind

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    This used to bother me, but not so much anymore. A lot of people assume I'm straight and talk about straight stuff at first, but they've been surprisingly accepting and willing to change their words once they find out I'm not. Majority of people are straight so It's hard to not assume at first.
     
  4. KarenLyn

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    It can be an annoyance and as I get deeper into my sexuality its becoming more so. It's kinda like everyone looks at me and thinks "oh she a nice little Christian girl.. when I'm actually a witch (LOL) and I proceed to educate them. It's the same with the LGBTQ community.... I find myself speaking out more, not in anger but to gently inform people we're out there and we're not scary... well, most of us aren't :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  5. Fishtail

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    You from germany?, can you read german?
    Because i know they have at least 1 teen magazine where they do include LBGT
    questions from teen-ager and sometimes write LGBT articles.

    Besides that i agree with you as a Bi guy with a 'genderneutral personality'
    *description of me from a friend*. :slight_smile:
    If you search on Youtube, some have made lists of LGBT tvshows and i realized
    that if you only watch series that are in you mother language, you miss out on alot.
     
    #5 Fishtail, Aug 17, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2017
  6. Loves books

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    It's a little annoying ,but all the things you mentioned have one main aim, and that's to make money. To make money you have to appeal to the wider audience and since only ten percent of the population is gay they probably think for a same sex couple they would only get five percent to view it. It annoys me more when a t.v show has a great lesbian character and kills them off. I stopped watching The 100 after Lexa died. It still has Clarke but she's bisexual so sooner or later she'd be back with a guy. They also make magazines specially for gay and lesbian audiences.
     
  7. chaoticheart

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    I think you're talking about "bravo".
    Yes, I know that magazine.
    I read it when I was a child and a young teenager. :grin:
     
  8. Lexa

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    "In TV-shows and media in general they are talking about what all the women like about men"

    And that's rarely what I like about men.

    "So, it's literally false to say that all the women like certain traits about men and vice versa because there are woman out there that are not attracted to men"

    And because simply not all women like the same traits about men.

    I still love the 100 (obviously) lol. I think people overreacted over Lexa's dead. There is a male gay couple in the 100 at some point, Clarke is still in it... Sometimes people die in series. Finn was also important in the series and he died too. Too me it's still an LGBT friendly series and I think it was and is meant to be one too. There is the matriarchies in it too. And strong, independent women.

    Here in Belgium public television had an episode in a Belgian series once where the bisexual girl was killed by her lesbian ex-girlfriend because she was jealous of the bisexual girls new boyfriend. So, bisexual girl is dead, lesbian girl is a murderer and straight boy is innocent. Now, that to me was a disturbing episode, especially because it was made by Belgian public television we Belgians all pay taxes for.
     
  9. Nils

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    this may be a bit off topic but homoflexible is just a made up term to mean bisexual without saying bisexual. You can be bisexual with a heavy preference, you know...
     
  10. chaoticheart

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    Yes, that's a point, too! Not all women (that are attracted to men) like the same traits about men.

    Maybe, I should try the lgbt shows some of you have mentioned. :slight_smile:

    People who use "homoflexible" as a term are not just using it to avoid the bisexual label. It is because "bisexual" doesn't feel right for some reason. I tried to convince myself that bisexual is the right label for my sexuality for almost 5 years but it never really felt right even though I wanted it so badly. I'm just not into men in general. I don't feel anything when I see an attractive one. I can't even tell about "hot" male celebrities because they are not hot for me. I don't notice them much when I see them in public.. I just love my boyfriend so much that I'm sexually attracted to him. He really is the only man I can imagine to have sex with and enjoy it. "Homoflexible" describes my sexuality perfectly. And yes, I'm aware that my sexuality is a form of bisexuality. I think "homoflexible" (if it's used the way I do) describes a certain form of bisexuality.
     
  11. KaySee

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    I kind of really hate this because:

    1.) When I was a 14-year-old, people assumed that my 20-year-old brother was my boyfriend when we were in public together. Strangers actually called him my boyfriend in front of us and that was just awkward and disturbing. That assumption that a guy and a girl doing things alone together is romantic and/or sexual is still there. Just destroying the heterosexism would end that or just make it so much more confusing for presumptuous, idiotic people. Such people would then have to assume I was dating my sister as well as my brother and best friend, and continue on until they completely confuse themselves.

    2.) My sister would have less to rant to me about, and our family might realize that she mentioned dates with her girlfriend.

    3.) Personally, I see heterosexism (or heterocentrism) as just part of a bigger problem (that I hate). People on the aromantic and asexual spectrums, like me, deal with amatonormativity.
    Society has a hierarchy: straight relationships, other romantic relationships, then all other relationships.
     
  12. HighQualityLog

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    This really annoyed me a while ago, especially since I was struggling with coming out and felt even more discouraged, but I don't think about it as much these days. I still can't deny it kinda annoys me a little bit these days. I'm slowly coming to terms with learning to ignore it and move on.