I'm a college sophomore. I'm from a conservative, Christian town, and it's honestly not that hard to hide who I am. I wasn't even sure who that was until maybe two summers ago. I knew I was different and that I didn't long for and think of guys the way girls my age do. Since actually realizing who I am I've been on an emotional rollercoaster. My upbringing made me hate who I was. I looked up anything, everything, to convince myself I was wrong. Then when that didn't work I tried to convince myself the Bible didn't care about homosexuality. I still don't know if that's true and it hurts. It may seem ridiculous because it would just seem easier to renounce my faith than worry - but I can't. Over the past year, I have come to accept myself in private. I understand my infatuation with female actresses and why I don't notice the cute boy in class, and most days I feel comfortable in myself. The problem is that I want to come out. I want to talk about crushes. I want to have real conversations with my twin sister and best friends. But the thought of ripping off the band-aid literally makes my heart sink and crumble. I don't think they would quit hanging out with me but I don't think they will understand. I just don't know how to move forwards, but I'm miserable in the silence.
I don't have any advice,but I feel you. Some days I want to scream "I LIKE GIRLS, IM QUUEEEERRR, SUCKS IF YOU DONT LIKE IT' but at the same time I'm like, "what if.. they hate me and it'll change the whole entire relationship and we'll slowly become further and further apart... oh no". So yeah, i feel you.
I'm in a VERY conservative, Christian household at the moment. If my parents ever found out I'm bisexual, they'd kick me out of the house for sure. I'll be moving out in about two years if I play my cards right though. And the only advice I can hope to give is that, in some cases (although it may seem backwards) it's better to not come out to some people. If you know for sure that they're going to hurt or abuse you for something you can't control, don't come out to them. But, if you know that you can trust some people, like close friends or family members that are allies, then tell them. They'll be the ones that will give you relief from the silence, love, respect and hope that one day you won't have to fear who you truly are. I know that sounded deep for a second. Sorry. XD But, that's my experience with coming out and the advice that I have derived from my experiences. The way that you can check if someone would be okay with you coming out would be to "test" them. Like, mention what they'd do if a friend came out to them or show them an LGBTQ+ related video. Btw, I'm a college sophomore too.
I completely feel this. I'm only a sophomore in high school but I'm having such a hard time. My mom and I have had multiple conversations about people and their sexuality and she couldn't care less. The same goes for my dad and my sister. The rest of my family, except for my aunt, are VERY conservative, christian, hateful towards other people. And I'm scared. I love them despite that and I just can't even come out to my mom. I just discovered this for sure today, actually. And it sucks. So much.
I never thought there would be so many people out there who feel exactly the way I feel. I also struggled throughout high school and up until I came out with really wanting to tell my friends and sister I liked girls. It's not that I didn't want them to know necessarily, I just have found saying it for the first time really hard. But all the friends I've told have reacted one of two ways - they weren't fazed at all because they don't think being gay is different/a big deal or they were excited for me and glad I trusted them enough to tell them. Either way, they were supportive. I'm really fortunate to have friends that are chill about that kind of stuff (some are LGBT themselves but not all), but then again, I feel like many people in our age group are. I also have conservative family and I went to Catholic school from K-12 so I know how you feel if you are in college I guarantee you can find a lot of accepting friends and allies. There's probably some kind of LGBT support alliance you can join at your college, or if you don't want to do that, I hope you can find at least a couple friends you really trust and tell them. If they're really your true friends they'll know - you're the same person you were yesterday, and every day before that. Once you have a few people you can talk to about it, you won't feel nearly as awful as when you bottled it up. I know from personal experience. I wish you best of luck friend <3
