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I feel like I'm going to scream....

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by BelieveinLove94, Sep 25, 2016.

  1. BelieveinLove94

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    I'm just so stressed out and tired of hearing my family asking me if I've met any boys at college or why I'm so closed off to meeting fraternity guys when my sorority has a party. I'm so SICK of these questions. I don't want boys and I wish people would stop asking me over and over again about it. Even my mom said last night, "You know, most girls are into boys at your age and you don't seem interested." I wanted to scream, "DUH because I'm a LESBIAN." I couldn't though because my mother is religious and I have no idea how she would react, or anybody in my family would react. I do plan on coming out once college is over and I'm financially independent though. Sorry for my rant, I'm just so tired and I feel like I'm alone and have no one to talk to. I want to meet other lesbians in my area so I can talk to someone but every app or site I've went on requires a picture and I can't upload a picture in case someone in my family sees it. I live in the Nashville/Murfreesboro area. How can I meet other lesbians in that area without accidentally outing myself?
     
  2. Gunsmoke

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    Your rant is totally okay! It's good to share stuff like this and I kind of know how you feel, even though I'm bi, because I'm generally more interested in girls so those questions annoy me, too.

    I'm afraid I don't know much about how to meet other girls, but maybe if you wanted to try and guess how your family would react, you can try bringing up LGBTQ rights with them. Something that helped me feel more comfortable when coming out to my Mum was because I knew she had a friend who was gay, so I knew she wouldn't be really homophobic about it. Or, for example, you could watch a show with an LGBTQ character (or couple) in it with them and see how they react to them. Like, if you watched an episode of Modern Family with your mother or something, try to discreetly observe how she reacts to the gay couple in that, and hopefully that could give you an indicator of how she may react to you.
     
    #2 Gunsmoke, Sep 25, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2016
  3. 108

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    Does your college have any LGBT groups? It sounds like you could potentially be at MTSU, and they should definitely have something organized.

    ---------- Post added 25th Sep 2016 at 02:08 PM ----------

    Also, many dating apps people are not going to be able to see you without having an account themselves. I would imagine there's very little chance of family coming across your profile. Even websites that are not specific to LGBT have features to protect privacy, by not being seen by straight people, only visible to matches, etc.
     
  4. GhostStories88

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    You can also remind them you don't need a romantic partner to be happy or live a successful and fulfilling life. You could also say, "I just want to focus on my studies right now," or something along those lines.
    Hopefully, if you tell them something like that they'll stop asking.
     
  5. Bubbletea

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    This is super relatable. I still get bs for not being masculine. Hello, I aint a man lol.

    So yeah, scream, maybe actually scream. In a pillow. Lol oh wait that sounds so bad now that Ive said it haha.

    Why not tell your mom you are waiting for the right one? Say that you are picky? High standards? It might help
     
  6. Misadori

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    I can understand the frustration of your and your stressful minds. In order to ease a heavy heart, a good thingy is to write it all out. Scream and rent all you need to, we're here to support you with whatever we can:slight_smile:

    Like I said, I can somewhat understand the frustration and the stress that you're facin'. Livin' a life in secret ain't a funny thin'. It's remarkable how such thought can affect you body and mind so easilyxS For me, I'm havin' transthoughts and have a hard time to accept myself into the real world, a world without hidin'. To carry such feelings like you do really brings you down. You really wanna tell but are afraid of what they might think. To travel into what's unknown mentally is very scary, it's like you'd like to have a hint of how the outcome might be. If I may ask you this (don't feel forced to answer if you don't want to, I will only accept and respect your wish in that case): You mentioned about your parents bein' religious. What do you personally believe what they would think if you told them?

    The suggestions above are really great:slight_smile: Might there be any LGBTQ+ communities in your colleges that you could join? No need to tell about bein' a lesbian but joinin' as it catches your interest?
    Does any of your friends know that you're a lesbian? When it comes to comin' out, the hardest part is to tell your own parents. (Funny thing is that my mum told me that once and she really has no idea how hard that can be!) A good thin' is to turn to somebody you really trust. Could be a friend, a group of friends or a relative you really trust
     
  7. hptrek314

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    I see you're from Tennessee, i'm from Georgia (if you're into football, RIP UGA after that last game this Saturday) in the exact same situation as you and I feel your pain. I'm 20 and literally everytime I call my Grandma in Florida to tell her how i'm doing with college and everything the first thing she says when I pick up the phone is "Do you have a boyfriend?" Like no grandma, I do not, but I have an A in two of my classes if that matters! It's frustrating because it's as though college is the only safe haven for us, and even then for me I tend to get lost in the sea of people wanting to d that whole "college experimentation" thing, and as a result I never can find someone I truly want to be with. So ready to graduate and start making it on my own.