I'm trans, and while I've been living as male for about 8 years now, I wasn't able to start physical transition (due to a pregnancy and financial constraints) until now. I'm about to turn 30 and for the first time in my life I have facial hair. Some of them are coming in gray. I know that's a stupid thing to worry about, but it's upsetting. I finally get to have facial hair, and it's already gray while it's brand new. I'll never really know what it's like to experience life as a young man. I've been trying to present male, but I don't pass well. I got lots of experience being read as a butch lesbian but not much as a man. And now I'm...all grown up, for lack of a better word, and the world expects me to behave appropriately for my age. It feels so stupid to lose those years over something as petty as money. (Yes, I'm still young, still have lots of years, yadda yadda, I know. But not those years.) There's not really any questions I can ask or anything. Just wanted to vent.