I feel hopeless...

Try to picture your happy place, the place that means the most complete happiness for you. Then, you can see the big steps in life you may need to take to get there. Then, you need to fill the gaps with baby steps so you don't get bogged down by anxiety. Be patient. I'm on marketplace insurance as well, I know it sucks, but it's also better than nothing. Evaluate your circumstance. What you cannot change TODAY, you need to live with until it can be changed. Sometimes all we can change one day is how much we stay off our phones, or how productive we are, until the day comes when you find yourself in a position to pick a better insurance option, and suddenly you're like, "hah! That wasn't even on my radar anymore because I've been living with it rather than stressing about it. Awesome. I'll take Plan C." My last advice? If you are drinking, stop. It makes anxiety worse and you are at an age where people who are alcoholics begin to screw up their lives, and people who aren't learn to moderate their intake better. Best to you on your journey. Life is intense, and nobody is an expert at it overnight. Learn what you can learn now and keep moving. Overcoming anxiety is a difficult challenge and you can (and should) feel proud of those little things, knowing they were harder for you because of the anxiety.

 

Sometimes life doesn't seem fair. You will get out of this though, never give up hope. I have suffered anxiety, I have been at an all time low, loss of job, loss of health insurance, arrested even. I got through it though and you can too. I watched a movie called the Martian and maybe you have too? at the end of the movie Matt Damon gives a speech to a group of new astronauts. he says something like, at some point you think you're done for it is the end but there are two things you can do. one give up this is the end or you can do something about it, start solving problems, solve one problem and then the next and the next and eventually when you solve enough problems you get to come home. it is the tough parts of life that make you stronger. You will grow from this, you will learn and become a stronger person. You are young, only 27, all of this happened to me when I was 50 and I made it home! When those negative thoughts come rushing in stop them, realize that your having them and just stop them. Think of other things like what you can do to make things better. or start counting backwards from 100 in threes 100, 97, 94 and so on till you get to 1. that will help you forget about the negative thoughts. do nice things for other people to make you feel better. simply holding the door open for some one saying hello or have a nice day, do something to help the needy. Create a resume and start looking for a job something with health insurance. Post your resume on a job website like indeed. Even if is stocking shelves at a grocery store or being a janitor at a school, or maybe you have a degree and you can apply to something in your field of education. go to interviews even if you don't want the job just for practice. If you are desperate for income settle for a part time job. Your state might even have a career service that helps you find a job for free? Happiness comes from within so try and find that. try and watch videos on self help and happiness as well as overcoming anxiety. You are not alone in this world so hang in there and try and start to solve some problems one at a time. I know you can do it and I wish you the best of luck buddy : ) I hope this has given you some ideas, you're going to be okay.

 

Uh, what both people above said. All I can add to this is to say that I know exactly what you're going through -- I'm in the same place right now. We'll make it.

Mandy

 

Hi Old Soul,

Please don't isolate. It's not good for you mentally, and of course doesn't help anything. Believe me, I do know the feeling though. It's hard, but sometimes we just have to push through. Your State Employment Agency should be able to help you find a job that is suitable for you, and they should be used to dealing with people who are handicapped, which you are -- you are mentally/emotionally handicapped, and they should be used to dealing with such people and should have extra resources for helping them. It sounds like you really need to be on anti-anxiety medication right now. Maybe something like an urgent care facility, or even a private doctor could give you a one-time appointment that you could afford so that you could get a prescription for some anti-anxiety medication -- it might help a lot.

I know this is a hard time for you, but don't give up hope. I know exactly what you're going through -- I'm going through pretty much the same thing. I'm lucky though, in that I do have health insurance, but I have treatment resistant depression/anxiety disorder, so even with medical help, I still suffer a lot of what you are going through, and it's really difficult. We can beat this though. It's a hard battle, but it's worth it. Like a soldier on the battlefield, sometimes we have to reach deep down into ourselves in order to find the wherewithal to battle something that seems impossible, but we do have it in us. I don't know if you are religious at all or not, but one thing I always try to keep in mind is that God never gives us more than we can handle. He may give us more than we THINK we can handle, but we can handle it or we wouldn't have been given it in the first place.

I'm sending you some good energy -- I hope it helps. Please keep posting here so we know how you're doing.

Mandy