Hello all, excuse my English as it is not my first language. Long story short...I'm a 32 year old Mexican girl, I was molested as a child by a closed family member. I've always knew there was something wrong/off with me since when I was a child, but I never new what it was until just recently. About 3 months ago or so I came out of the closet, to myself and a few friends. I came out as a lesbian. I thought I had made huge progress by finally accepting that I like women but I was so wrong. I mean, I do like women, that's for sure, the thing is that I am not a lesbian as I thought....but trans. I know deep inside my heart that I am not a women, that I am a man....and this is something that is killing me inside....I feel so scared and lost, I feel very confused and very hopeless about my life and my future...because I can not picture a future for me being the way I am. I need help, I don't feel comfortable in my body, I don't feel comfortable telling anyone about this, I don't feel comfortable knowing that I have to deal with this for the rest of my life... I feel dead inside.
I mentioned that I was molested as child to ask you guys, if anyone have been sexually abuse as a child and if so, if the abuse has to do with me being trans.
Being molested like you say is never an easy thing for anybody to go through and it’s such a horrible experience. Nobody who hasn’t been in that position could even imagine it. But the abuse has NOTHING to do with you being trans. Being trans isn’t a bad thing and it’s certainly not something you should be ashamed of. The future is never certain. That’s for sure. Hell, if I knew the future I wouldn’t be nearly as worried as I am now. But life is tough and sometime we just have to suck it up and get on with it. Youre sure of your identity and came out to your friends as lesbian. That’s a good start. For myself it took months to even pluck up the courage to realise who I was. They can be good support, but my best advice would be to seek people who have similar problems and issues as you do. (Other trans people). Basically you did the right thing by coming here to this forum. Now you’re here, you should search around a bit. Things aren’t as crap as they seem when you have somebody to share your problems with. I know that for a fact. Is there anybody you know who you can come out to? Any friends you are really close to? Bottling up your pain won’t do you any good in the end, you need to let it out. Trying to suppress your trans feelings is always a losing battle. Seriously I’ve tried and I know it from experience. You might be uncomfortable now. But it gets better. It always gets better in the end. Just hang on in there and don’t despair. If you need any additional support then just ask me and I’m willing to help. And your English is perfect Btw
Thank you soooo very much for replying to my post! I keep checking the website daily in hopes of a response from someone....thank you from the bottom of my heart. I would love to speak to and be friends with trans people, but see, I live in CA, in a very Latino/Hispanic community and to be honest with you, I highly doubt I could find one, I mean, it's been even hard for me to find any lesbian friends, let alone trans....but, yes, I know I did the right thing by coming to this forum. I don't usually post things in here, but I do read a lot of the posts and yes, reading about other people's stories about being trans it's helping me get by... I think I was a little sad the day a posted this..as of right now I feel a little less sad/confused about the whole situation. I mean, I think this whole process takes time and it's better for me to just let it play out and take it day by day... I don't completely understand my feelings and emotions...so I'm gonna take a step back and just focus on myself, and try to get to know the person that I really am....trans. I thought of doing some things to ease the weirdness I feel inside like change the way I dress, or the way I do my hair...Maybe try to wear less make up and just kind of do things that feel more like the real me... I thank you DEEPLY for replying to my post!!
I’m so glad that I could help you in some way, even if in just a small one. Just take care and make sure you ask if you need any more help, I for one would be more than eager to reply to any questions you have!
Hi there. I'm having the same problem as you. I'm 15 and i'm trans. I've decided to come out to my friend. I'll do it on monday. I want to see how he will react and that will give me confidence to come out one by one untill i get enough support to come out to my family. When did it start bothering you? My advice is to come out to a friend first. I hope i helped a lil.
Hi there, OMG you are so young still.....I can only imagine how you feel about this whole situation, it must be really hard and confusing for you...I mean, I'm 32 and this whole situation has been the hardest in my life. I really wish for you to be able to tell your friend about it and I hope that your friend will understand your situation and give you support. This is a very complicated thing and I think you are being super brave by telling your friend! extremely BRAVE! I don't feel ready to tell anyone about it....there is no one I know that could possible understand.
you're so nice!! thank you so much for those kind words I was really in need of someone giving me some comfort and advise. p.s. You are way younger than me...I should be the one giving YOU advise lol. GRACIAS!!!
Hehe, it's nice to know that my advice helped someone. There is time, maybe u'll give me helpfull advice some day.
Hi there. I understand feeling dead inside, it's the worst. I had some sexual harassment when I was a young teenager and I thought that was the reason I felt so gross about my breasts, because of people touching them without my permission, etc. But in my later teens I accepted things and moved on from it, but I still felt so gross about my chest, and I couldn't understand why until I learned about trans people. The "grossness" wasn't necessarily from the harassment; it was because I have dysphoria. That's the only connection I have between sexual harassment/assault and being transgender. I don't know if that helps. Welcome to the site! I hope you can find friends and help here!
