Which is frustrating because everything seems to be slowly falling into place for once, yet here I am. I don't really have much of a social life, I usually only interact with my friends in lesson time (except a few exceptions) and although I'd like to go out more..well...at the same time I don't. The times where I got out can vary a lot, sometimes it's great and I have a good time...but it can also end with me freaking out and it's that uncertainty that I hate. But, aside from going out partying, how else am I supposed to have fun? I mean, I'm involved with extracurriculars and that's great but does it count as a social life? After all, I talk to people there but don't exactly feel emotionally close to anyone except a few friends, and don't get me wrong I greatly enjoy their company but life...it feels stale. *Sigh*
Parting isn't the only way to have fun, I find it mostly not fun. Do you have any hobbies or like games other than video? I go out with a couple people with radio control trucks and we just drive them around as we walk hiking and bike paths. Table top gaming is a ton of fun, even if you don't do the role playing stuff.
From what you are describing it seems like you are talking with people, but not making connections with them. The reasons vary and only you can decide why its happening, but the majority of the time these shallow connections stem from our inability to be our authentic self with others. If you aren't saying what you are thinking and feeling and you feel like you have you filter yourself, then it means you can't make deep connections with others. For example, have you told anyone about how you are feeling about this whole thing? Those are the type of conversations that allow for deeper connection with others to form. If you think that might be the problem, talking with a therapist might be useful for you to learn what is keeping you from opening up to others. What keeps you form going out with friends?