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I enjoy women more than men

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Lilly6777, Nov 30, 2020.

  1. Lilly6777

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    Hi. I'm a new member and have been struggling for a long time. I'm so glad to find a forum to reach out on, instead of reading dozens of articles over and over online. I'm 34 years old, married to a man and have a young baby. I've always been drawn to women and have had a few flings here and there but never seriously thought I could be openly gay. I've never likes sex with men. I was married 2 years ago to a man I've now been with for 9 years. 2 years ago I met a woman who changed my life. I had an affair and feel like I can never go back to being with men. Thinking back, I've always been attracted to women. I cannot fix my marriage, as the thought of being with him sexually or intimately disgusts me. The marriage was one of convenience and I made a mistake. We are now talking about signing divorce papers and I'm really struggling with the guilt. I almost wish I could mend the marriage but I'm a lesbian.
     
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  2. quebec

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    Lilly6777.....Hello and a great big welcome to Empty Closets! There are a lot of kind, caring people here on EC who will do their best to encourage and support you in this difficult time. If you need to vent or if you need a shoulder to cry or lean on...we are here for you. Have you considered contacting a therapist to help you through your current situation? I know my therapist has helped me so very much. If you have any local LGBTQ+ support groups in your area, they sometimes have counselors/therapists on staff for situations just like yours. Remember that you are a part of our LGBTQ+ Family and we do care! Please keep us updated on how all of this works out.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
  3. QuietPeace

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    Welcome to EC. I also find women far more attractive than men, for years I thought of myself as a lesbian. I hope that the resolution that you come to with your current relationship is as good as it can be (as in an amicable divorce). I hope that you are able to live the life best for you.
     
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  4. Lilly6777

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    Thank you both for your answers. I have actually smiled for the first time today.
     
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  5. Contented

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    Libby6777, I too felt the guilt when I ended my straight relation with my long time GF. I think most of us later in lifers find guilt to be one of things we need to work through. Guilt built up as my attraction to women faded to point like you the idea of being with a woman became disgusting. I blamed her for the changes in me and then felt the guilty afterwards. My therapist helped me overcome the guilt by helping me understand that I was a gay man and being one finding intimacy with a woman disgusting was not unusual or bizarre or strange. There was no need for the guilt I didn’t do anything wrong I simply finally acknowledged openly what had been there all along but well hidden,I was gay and in reality preferred men exclusively as sexual and emotional partners. You are among friends here to use a sounding board or just to vent.
     
    #5 Contented, Nov 30, 2020
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2020
  6. silverhalo

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    Hey welcome to EC. Try not to be too hard on yourself you didn't do any of this on purpose. It is never easy ending a relation etc but sometimes it is the right thing to do. We are here for you.
     
  7. Lilly6777

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    Thank you all so much. I've spent much of the last 2 days reading old posts and comments and I feel like I'm not alone anymore. I can't believe how many people have once been in the position I'm in now.
     
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  8. quebec

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    Lilly6777.....One thing is for sure...YOU.ARE.NOT.ALONE!! We want to do whatever we can to help. We are here for you!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
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  9. silverhalo

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    Yeah I think we have all been there as well. I know before I joined EC I thought I was the only person in the world in my situation, turns out not so much. People don't talk about this stuff in their day to day life as so we tend not to know people are dealing with it.
     
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