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I don't know where to find hope

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Hope4love, Oct 20, 2020.

  1. Hope4love

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Africa
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    i was born and grew up in emirates.
    but because both of my parents are from sudan they decided to return to sudan after 18 years from my birth, am 22 now and i feel completely alienated, and the homophobia is even worse than on middleeast, i'm so isolated because i hate being asked why i'm not seen in mosques or muslim gatherings, and if I say anything they suddenly become the victim.
    I started looking for ways to leave the country but it's very confusing and from what i heard it's too expensive and impossible in many cases, my father is also very strict with religion as he made it clear many times almost daily that he would abandon anyone who doesn't believe in islam, so me and my older siblings are tired of him treating us like we don't have any right to believe otherwise.
    i want to leave so bad that i'm thinking of migrating by libya to europe illegally, but i fear if i somehow made it i won't be accepted anyway because of the hatred i've seen on immigrants on social media.
    i don't know where to look for hope in these cicumstances, sometimes i wish i could go back to lying to myself of being straight just so i can at least live with social freedom and acceptance, but it's too late for that, i already accepted my sexuality and felt much more peace and freedom internally and going back causes nothing but anxiety and depression. and the fact that i know many people are in worse situation than i am in terms of food or money, i feel so guilty that i'm typing this on my laptop. but that's how i really feel just hopeless
     
  2. QuietPeace

    Full Member

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    Location:
    Northern Europe
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    Other
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    A few people
    I wish that I had a solution for you. Most governments do make it difficult to migrate even from places where it it truly dangerous. I do hope that you find a way. My personal belief is that no one should have to live with hate or intolerance. Sadly the reality is different from that.

    Social media is a poor way of judging reality. The formulas that the companies use are designed deliberately to incite. Kind peaceful things do not generate clicks and clicks are how the advertising gets shared to the most people and that is how they make money. This is not to say that hate does not exist but that it is amplified on the internet. There would likely be danger for you from the intolerant people but those people are not the majority in many nations in Europe.
     
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  3. Lin1

    Full Member

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    Location:
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey,
    Sorry to hear about your ordeal. I don't have much advice but I am the daughter of an immigrant (from Africa) and I have also immigrated in many places of the world as a queer mixed-race individual and honestly, while there are some disrespectful jackasses (like everywhere) plenty of people will be more than keen to have you in the country and have you join the local queer community. I think living in a country where it's safe to be LGBT is so important and that once you do you will barely notice the few loud people that happen to be anti-immigrant.

    You might even be able to immigrate based on your sexuality if your life would be in danger back home. So I would look into that (discreetly) and see if there are countries that are more likely to accept you than others.
     
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