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I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Haleyh, Aug 15, 2017.

  1. Haleyh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2017
    Messages:
    3
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    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm a 15 year old female and am lesbian, but haven't fully accepted it yet; I can't do that til I'm out. I've also been questioning for about 11 months and am pretty sure of my sexuality since I don't find guys attractive at all, but I can't accept it fully til I'm out to someone. I want to tell my best friends, but they don't seem to support lgbt very much (that I know of..not 100% sure). I could tell one of my bi friends but he hasn't come out to me yet even tho I already know and I don't want him to be the 1st person I come out to, I want to tell my best friends 1st. My parents have asked me if I like girls because I've mentioned that I support LGBT and they don't. As well as, my mentioning of getting a shaved undercut because of the lesbian stereotypes (my mom called it a known fact) with girls shaving part of their heads (I just think it looks cool and want something different). They also sometimes joke about it, especially since I've never dated anyone and haven't had many crushes. My family isn't very supportive of lgbt people and they don't believe in gay marriage. I kinda want to come out, but don't know who to tell or if I'm ready. I also don't know how I would come out, if I were to do so. I just don't know what to do anymore and I feel so alone. (Sorry for the long post.)
     
    #1 Haleyh, Aug 15, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2017
  2. PennyT

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2016
    Messages:
    145
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    13
    Location:
    Alabama, US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    First and foremost, if you don't feel safe coming out, don't. Or have a back up plan - someone safe to stay with or something like that. I'm assuming you live with your parents, so if you think that they'll make your life miserable, wait until you're older or have a backup plan.

    Second, not being attracted to guys does not mean lesbian, FYI. It took me a year to figure that out. (#asexualqueerproblems) Now, if you're attracted to women, you're probably queer.

    With your friends, it is up to you to weigh the pros and cons to coming out. If you do decide to, make sure to do it face-to-face with your close friends. Do it in a safe environment. Rehearse what you're going to tell them. Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. They're your friends. If they can't get over something as simple as being queer, they don't deserve you.

    If anyone becomes too negative or makes you feel uncomfortable, tell them, shut down the conversation, and/or get out of the situation. You don't need to deal with someone else's negativity. You've got enough going on.

    Good luck! Hope this helps. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Haleyh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Thanks for the advice! And by saying I'm lesbian includes me liking girls, I just didn't say it word for word. I don't like hiding the fact that I'm gay, but I might have to deal with it and wait til I'm older like you said. Thank you!