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I don't know what to do, confusing feelings about best friend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Koset, Feb 11, 2020.

  1. Koset

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    Well... not too sure how to start, as I have never posted anything like this, and not opened up to anyone.

    However this is getting to my head a bit too much, and I need some advice.

    I met my best mate over 3 years ago.
    We started off by going pubs, playing pool, watching football, going gym etc.
    We've been good mates, and I really liked him, he was a real friend. At the time i was seeing my friend (girl), for over a year and we used to meet up and talk about life, have a drink and we kissed quite a lot of times. I used to tell him about her, and he was telling me to go for it... a few months later, we suddenly stopped talking, he was ignoring me, and I was driving past his GF house, and they saw me. I wanted to speak to him, but he got really angry and we stopped talking for almost a year. I used to get a message "merry Christmas" or happy birthday.
    I missed him quite a lot, but I thought that might be a chance for me to get on with my life. I tried, and I went for a date with this girl (well, I didnt manage and she went out clubbing). I got a message from my mate with a picture with that girl, and him saying "I heard you didnt turn up to a date". That's when we weren't talking. I met him for a joint that day, and we haven't spoken again for a while. I started going out with this girl, but that wasnt working out. I liked her a lot, but I had my mate at the back of my head the whole time and couldn't stop thinking about it. When I met him, after 11 months (since first stopped talking)he needed a favour.

    At that time we started talking and being good mates again. After a while he split up with his girlfriend and started dating another girl. We were supposed to go on holiday, but that got cancelled because something has happened (in his relationship), he was apologising and saying he doesn't want to lose a friend because of that. After a while, they broke up and he has been single since then (about 6 months now).
    We meet very often, almost every day. We usually watch movies, play some games, go pub and now recently started gym.

    When we were on a holiday with the lads few weeks ago, there was some jokes going around that I am gay etc.

    I got really annoyed with that, so I asked my mate what was it about, why they were saying it. And he just said it was just jokes and he went silent.

    I dont know what is wrong with me, I never felt like this before, I was raised and always thought I was straight, but since i met him, he just got stuck in my head. And to be honest, none of the girls I was with, I really loved. To be fair, up until this point... I never had this feeling, but I think I have fallen in love with my best mate. I cant stop thinking about him, when I see him... he makes me smile, i have butterflies in my stomach. I stare at him, and I think he realised that, because he rarely looks into my eyes, just looks away.
    I always big him up, how good of a friend he is and that I don't want to loose him as a friend. We had quite a few arguments, over silly things... he is a very manly man, doesn't really touch anyone, doesn't open up, had loads of girlfriends before, he is basically known in out town as a player/girl shagger. He mentioned about us doing a threesome with some girl before, when he had few drinks.

    Recently I have told him that my head isn't right, and I apologised as I been having a random go at him. And he calls me down, saying that it offends him. Before he would just get pissed off and stop talking.
    I also mentioned that if I told him something, we might not be friends. (He replied "that's deep"). And next day like every other day, we met up played some pool, watched Netflix etc.
    We are just living our lifes, he wants us to open a business, and was thinking of getting a house together.

    I feel like we're good as friends, but he is such an amazing person, some things he does, or things he is going through make me want to give him a hug. I only hugged with him once, when he was going away for a funeral.

    I'm sorry, this might be a little confusing what I am saying, but there's so much to say, I can write a book.
    I hope you get an idea where I'm coming from.

    I think he is completely straight, however I never seen him in a really long relationship, and seen him saying that he prefers to spend time with friends than girlfriend... hes also got a kid.

    I can't get with anyone, because it just doesn't let me stop thinking about him.
    I recently tried with a girl, she was great, but I think I preferred to stay friends, but she liked me a lot more. She started hanging out with my sister, and are quite good friends.
    I have met a guy almost a year ago, as known him before when I thought he was straight (had a gf) and now he's proper gay. I told him how I feel, so i can get some advice, but he started being obsessed with me! He was driving to my work, follow me, message me, I told him that I'm not interested in him, and he said that he's not either, but he was lying! He was so angry with me, he met the girl I was seeing and told her everything about me. She got really upset and told me she won't tell anyone. I haven't spoken to her for a while, but I'm scared that my mate is going to find out.

    What can I do? I really dont want to lose such an amazing friend, but seeing him everyday, makes me feel stupid. I act like there's not a problem (sometimes I go quiet, or zoned off), he keeps asking what's up etc. And him being my best mate, I feel like I should tell him... but I dont know if should, how, when etc... or should i leave it like it is, distance myself and try to lose that feeling? (Sounds impossible)

    Thanks guys!
     
  2. johndeere3020

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    Koset,
    First, welcome to EC! It's a good place to talk.
    Second, there is nothing wrong with you! There is no need to label yourself!

    There is a lot to think about when coming out. Are you in a safe situation? Can you afford to be on your own and take care of yourself. Will you have people in your life that might not understand? Will you have people that may not accept right away?

    I'm not saying to not be yourself for I hid and was ashamed of myself for 30 plus years and being authentic is wonderful, I'm just trying to say, hang around here for awhile. Talk to other people, ask questions. Listen to what the advisors might say, get a feel for what changes might occur in your life after you become your true self no matter if that is straight or LGBTQ. @Chip is one of the advisors and a pretty cool guy, see what advice he gives?

    Dean
     
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  3. Koset

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    Thank you for your reply and the welcome!

    And yeah, we are all different, so as you said... there's no need to label myself, and I feel like a have been unlabeled for quite a while now, as I'm not feeling any sexual attraction to ANYONE, for almost 2 years now.

    Talking about safe situation? Not really, I currently live with my mum, as I'm helping her out, as she's been poorly. She is the best person I known, but I really don't think she would accept it... she is quite stereotypical, and old school plus catholic, and the amount of times I heard her saying "I can't believe how 2 guys can be with each other, that's disgusting" etc. Im not even going to mention my much older brothers, where I think they wouldn't want me to be their family (probably over exaggerated) but they definitely wouldn't he supportive. I reckon if I was meant to open up, it would be a place without my family, so they wouldn't know, and they dont have to... however I still would like to have kids, and a family...

    And to be honest, at the moment it would be really hard for me to go on my own, unless I would move in with my mate (but then I would be seeing him all the time, and it would drive me insane if, I haven't told him).


    And i think I will. And how can I get in touch with him?(chip)

    Cheers
     
  4. johndeere3020

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    The @Chip should tag him so he sees the post. Be patient all the staff are volunteers. You can always click the ask the staff area on the main menu as well. Hang in there, things usually work out and talking here can be the first step.
    D
     
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  5. Chiroptera

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    Well, that's a long story, so I think you should take a step back and think about your feelings slowly. Take a deep breath. This is about you and yourself, there is no need to rush to any conclusions.

    Think about your attractions. When thinking about women, do you feel attracted to them? Sexually and romantically? What about men, do you feel attracted to them? When you imagine yourself in a relationship, do you think you could be happy with a man or a woman, or you would be happy with any of them? When you fantasize, do you think about men or women?

    Are your feelings towards your friend more sexually related or it's like an admiration towards him? How do you feel he would react if you told him you are interested in him?

    Again, my greatest advice for you is: stay calm. You don't need to pressure yourself or rush to any conclusions. Take your time.
     
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  6. Quantumreality

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    I agree with @Chiroptera . It sounds like you need to just step back and think a bit more about your real feelings before you jump to conclusions. The fact that you may deeply admire or even have a so-called "man-crush" on your best mate isn't a singular reason to question your own sexuality. I speak from the standpoint of a Bi guy (as @Chiroptera does). I've deeply admired and a couple of men in my lifetime in much the manner which you describe, but I've never had a sexual crush nor relationship with any of them - even the couple of them that confided their bisexuality to me. Being enamored/admiring another person of the same gender is completely valid. There doesn't have to be any real sexual connotations.

    Just try to take things day-to-day and focus on understanding your own feelings. In the end, the most important thing is that you are true/honest with yourself.

    My 2cents.
    QR
     
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  7. Aspen

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    You’ve already gotten good advice from johndeere3020 and Chiroptera so I’m just going to add a few things.

    This is a reminder that sexuality is not a checklist of “Gay” or “Straight.” There’s bisexual, pansexual, demisexual, and many shades besides. Being bisexual isn’t a perfect 50/50 split between attraction to men and women. Sometimes it means thinking you’re straight until one day you meet someone of the same gender and you fall in love with them. And then sometimes while you’re falling in love you look back to when you were a teenager and wonder how you ever thought you were straight.

    Having a lot of girlfriends and a kid doesn’t mean someone is straight. There’s a societal expectation for men to date women. Plenty of men realize their sexuality later in life, many of them when they’re married to a woman. I’d also like to remind you that you can have kids and a family no matter who you’re with.

    It sounds like you have feelings for him—thinking about him all the time, butterflies when you see him—but think deeper on those feelings. Do you want to date him? Do you want to have sex with him? Do you want anything more than friends? When you picture getting married, can you imagine being with a man or a woman? You haven’t been able to be in a relationship with anyone else, because you can’t stop thinking about your friend. Are you afraid that if you’re in a relationship, you’ll lose him as a friend? Or is it because you want to be in a relationship with him?
     
  8. Laurennnn

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    Hi!
    Well, here's all the advice I can give:
    He's a really close friend, and while you've had your ups and downs, it seems like you two are really tight.
    Those feelings might go away eventually with time, but you shouldn't distance yourself from him unless you don't want to be his close friend. Even if nothing ends up happening between you two, at least you'll have him as a friend and always nearby.
    I had the same problem with a friend earlier this year: a friend of mine is also bi and we got really close at the beginning of the year. I started having a crush on her but could tell she wasn't interested (even though she was one of only two other bi girls in the grade - I'm in eighth grade at a tiny private school). I had to think about it - do I want to distance myself to lose those feelings? Or is our friendship too meaningful? I chose to stay close to her and stopped crushing on her a few months later.
    Good luck!
     
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  9. Koset

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    Hi! Sorry for late reply, but i wanted to use my laptop as its a bit of a reply aha! Ad its hard for me to tell, few years back before me and my frined met, i only felt attracted to girls, and although i had thought about guys, i never thought that i would get any feelings like that. At the moment i dont really feel attracted to anyoe, but my friend :/ And i reckon i could be happy with both a man or a woman. When i fantasize, as i said above, its more of 'what would it be like with a guy'.

    And i have really big admiration for him, i sometimes stare him out, and whe he catches me i always preted that i was daydreaming etc. And that is the thing, because we are very close ad friend and family are making jokes that we are like a couple, i think he would of had to distace himself to think about it as he is really closed, and i have no idea how he feels.

    That is what i have done recently, and its been alright. I wated him to come with me on a holiday last year to my home coutry, but he had the baby on the way. now my birthday is coming, he said as a preset he can come with me to my country, which is unusal because usually i had to ask him loads of times, and this time i didnt. That is very true what you are saying, although not everyone thinks like this and might jump into coclusions when they would hear something like this.

    Thanks for your reply!
    Hi thanks for your reply. What you saying makes a lot of sense, because thats what i feel like... I feel like i met someone so perfect, but it catn be real. The only reason i think he might not be complety straight, is because a lot of stories i heard from him, are ones where he was forced or expected to do thigs when he was younger. now hes got an attitude that he doest need a gf right now.
    He was supposed to meet up with a girl he met o a dating site, however he didnt as he hasnt got time, but hes got time to spend everyday with me, when he finishes work, or whenever he can....

    And really, beig honest? I would love to... well, we are really good as frieds, but i dont feel like we are close eough to open up to eachother, so it would be nice to have him closer... Benig honest now, i am curious what i would feel like, and if i was going to have sex with a man... i think i could only be able to do it with him. This is crazy when im writing this, because i keep having a feeling that he will see this, and it was always olny i my head. Getting married, i can imagine it beig with a woman as thats what my family and others expect, but i wouldnt mind as log as i was with someoe like my friend hah. And well, i lost him as a fried when he was in a relatatioship, and recetly i was seeig a girl, i really liked her but i rather sped time with my friend...


    I wouldnt really want to distace myself from him, because he occupied so much space i my life, its hard to imagie him not beig here. And that is what i thought, however these feeling keep gettig depper, especially last few months. And yeah i think that might be the case here, he might not want to be interested, not because of his feeling but everythig else aroud him...

    Hard to thik about it, i didnt think i could fall i love with someoe, but i feel like i did ad its not gettig out of my head. He realised that im being differet recently, but its hard to tell if he can tell or not.
     
  10. Koset

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    Okay... 2 months no reply :frowning2:

    Anyway. It's the quarantine time, so we are having a break obviously, and haven't really seen him in over 3 weeks. Just played some games online, but that's it... no private talking. Worst thing is, I miss him quite bad. He works night, with his friend and they get to see each other everyday for half a day, but we only speak to play games. Should I wait until it's over, go on some holiday with him, or should I tell him about my feelings?

    It gets quite bad in my head, and its getting annoying. I wish I could live, and not care about him so much...
     
  11. Whiteguy12

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    I say do not tell him about your feelings. If there is one thing I have learned, it is to not ruin anything good that you have. From what I have read, you have something good with him. It may not be anything past platonic but you have a strong friendship. Unfortunately, there are not many indicators that he has feelings for you other than as a friend. We get caught up in our own feelings to the point where we are not thinking clearly. This then causes us to misread signals. If he was into you, only talking over video games would not be enough for him. The issue is he seems fine with where you guys are at in your relationship, but you are not. I recommend you wait it out and see where things go. Use this time away to get your feelings under control and look at your friendship objectively. I know it hurts but if you admit your feelings at this time, it won’t be the ending you hope for. I noticed that this quarantine is making everyone lonely, and miss their crushes and secret loved ones. I feel the same way and am missing one of my best friends who I haven’t spoken too in over a year. Don’t let loneliness cloud your judgement because once you admit your feelings, you cannot take it back.
     
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  12. Koset

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    Okay... so things kind of changed.

    Slowly after I wrote my previous post, a few weeks after we met up.
    Now we see each other everyday again.
    He dyed his hair, which really surprised me, as for example my homophobic family members, have commented on this. I personally think he looks good with them, but people were joking around calling him gay.

    We had a bit deeper talks recently, and also he had an situation when driving, where he almost met the person I have opened up to, and he already betrayed me and snaked me out, to the girl I was seeing.

    I'm kind of worried that my mate knows I have some feelings for him, but he never says anything. I did tell him recently if he would like to know more things about me, but he might react or judge me differently, or just to leave it like it is.
    He said that opening up might give the friendship more loyalty but also some judgements might be made. He told me that's its up to me, but "secrets can't be hold for too long, and you won't realise when everyone will know". He said its just a saying in his country, but I'm not too sure what he meant by it.

    I would like to open up, and just tell him about some feelings, but saying that I have it for him might scare him off. I did tell him that I will open up one day, but need the right time and place. Thing that makes it harder for me to open up, its because he never opens up, and I also thought that this might help him to open up to me, if I do to him.

    Do you think its a good idea? I'm really anxious about losing him, as when I just sit next to him, and think about how much I love him, my heart physically aches. However I known him for a while, and there was a lot of times, when he said he doesn't want to lose me as a friend.

    Its not healthy to keep this all to myself, and he did say that people go to see psychiatric for these problems. Just the thing about me being gay just doesn't sit right in my head, and I definitely wouldn't want everyone to think that, but if fantasies a bit, I can imagine us together but in our own space, and just be like close mates to the outside world, and then see what happens. My feelings for him are getting to the next level, I only felt like this for last few months.

    Sorry for writing so much, I hope it makes some sense and I feel like I already said it before on here, but with every week i seem to think that I'm getting close to opening up.
     
  13. Spartan 117

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    Hey!

    So I took a quick read through your thread and you have been given some good advice! Your story isn’t actually that unusual, even though I bet it seems like you’re the only person that’s ever been in this situation. Haha.

    It sounds like you have a major crush on your friend, but you’re freaked out because they’re a bloke. So let’s break both of those problems down.

    Developing romantic feelings for your friend is always difficult. It’s easy to do, especially when you’re close to that person, you have history, and you admire them. Clearly you feel quite close to him and like to open up to him, even if he is the strong silent type. The difficulty is very rarely do these things have a happy ending where you get to go off into the sunset together. Admitting your feelings can have a strain on your relationship if those feelings aren’t returned. And as someone has said before, he hasn’t really suggested he wants to be anything more than friends, even if he was interested in guys. Which is a big ‘if’ at the moment.

    Speaking of which, a lot of LGBT folks know EXACTLY what it’s like to constantly look for “clues” for your friends sexuality. Unfortunately, short of someone saying who they fancy, there’s no way of telling. People “acting gay/straight” isn’t really a thing. Everyone is different. I hate to say it but dying your hair doesn’t mean anything. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: You can’t read into it too much.

    As for your own sexuality: Aspen’s advice is bang on. It’s really not just a case of “gay” or “straight” and nothing in between. Some people like one gender much more than others, for an example someone might say “I mostly date girls but I like guys occasionally if they’re something special”. That’s cool. Nobody can tell you what your sexuality is, it’s something you have to figure out by yourself. I just want to reassure you that nobody’s going to force a label on you whatever happens. :slight_smile: I think because your friend is the first guy you’ve felt this way about, everything about these feelings are super intense.

    My advice is to take some time and actually come to terms with the fact you think you might have romantic feelings for a guy at all, and what that means for you. I think if you understand yourself a bit better before rushing into anything with your friend, it’ll help.

    I wish I could tell you that if you told your friend how you felt, he’d feel exactly the same way, but it usually doesn’t work like that. However, I will say that if he’s a good friend, he won’t be freaked out if you don’t turn out to be 100% straight. It does sound like he suspects something is going on with you even though he doesn’t know the specifics. He doesn’t want you to bottle it up inside forever and that’s good! I don’t think you should either, but I think you should take a deep breath and think about what’s going on with you, and what you want to say and accomplish if and when you tell your mate what’s been going on.
     
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  14. mlansing

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    A lot of people are saying to not tell him your feelings and hold on to the friendship that you have. In my opinion, if the friendship is strong enough it can weather the storm of potentially unreciprocated romantic feelings. I say go for it.
     
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  15. Koset

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    Okay, so a bit of an update.

    (I'll call my friend Ben, so it's easier to type.)

    As I have said in the post above, friend of mine Ben, got in touch with the guy I opened up to. I was running away from him, because I was hoping that if he sees me with Ben, he's going to tell him something.

    Ben started to notice my change of behaviour and mood swings etc. He said that he wanted to meet this guy behind my back, so i can open up to my friend. So I had to explain the story, after someone told him. He also met up with a girl, who came over with that guy, and they stated talking now! (How funny)

    So he now knows that im confused about my sexuality, but he said that he will always be there for me, and he's not going to stop being friend with me because of that. He also told me that someone have said to him in the past that im into him, but he just replied that were good mates.
    I'm really surprised that he's being even nicer to me, and said that he was worried about my mental health, and he had thoughts as I did tell him stuff before, but I avoided the subject, and he didn't know how to get it out of me.

    I am really happy that he's alright with it, and after seeing different threads and posts, I was quite negative about the outcome.

    He said that he had a similar situation with his old friend before, however he was saying stuff to people, and tried something with him and thats why they're not friends anymore.

    Ben was trying to get back to his ex gf, and now he's seeing a girl, and she's best friends with a guy that was stalking me, and generally was obsessed with me.

    I'm still overthinking quite a lot, and I'm probably going to be laughing at it next year. I still like Ben, quite a lot actually but I feel so much better that he knows about how I feel, and that we can be comfortable talking about it. Although it still seems unreal, that he's acting like nothing has happened and he's "really cool" with it.

    As someone said above, looks like he's a friend for life. God knows what will happened in the future, but I wanted to thank all of you for giving me advice and opinions. I maybe should of told him earlier, but it is what it is.

    I am a bit worried that now he knows, and he didn't even think about it (we didn't even said anything about us being together etc. Whatever that has to do with a 2 male relationship ) and that he will treat me different, and also that he might get into relationship, and that he will be gone. Thing is that he said loads of times, how we are best friends and he doesn't want to lose me, so i shouldn't be paranoid about it, but I think the fact that whatever I was thinking, had absolutely nothing to do with in reality, although I was expecting it. (Little bit of disappointment maybe) however I think it might be better the way it is, because if we tried something and it would of gone down, I would most likely be regretting it.

    Do you guys have any opinions about it?
     
  16. Spartan 117

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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I’m really glad he’s supportive! As I said before, he probably did have some suspicions about what’s been going on. He probably wasn’t that surprised when you told him. But it’s really nice that he’s there for you and he cares about your mental health - sexuality is super stressful to come to terms with, as you know!

    As for your friendship, and your relationship - it does sound like he’d much rather be friends. Honestly, it sounds like he’s a really good friend and that’s something you should keep hold of. He said he’s not going anywhere, and you have to take him at his word.

    Sadly, maintaining this friendship might mean you have to sacrifice the dream of you guys running off into the sunset together. He might always be a friend and nothing more. If it’s clear you guys don’t have a romantic future together - you might have to make the slow and painful road of moving on.

    What I will say is that there is almost certainly a guy out there with very similar qualities to your friend, who would be just as into you as you’re into them. :slight_smile: Whether you want to go out and find someone like that is up to you! But you do have that option.

    Either way, congrats on coming out to your friend (that’s what you did - even if you’re not sure what you came out as yet!), it must have been really difficult but I’m glad you don’t have to keep it bottled up inside anymore.

    Oh, and you might want to distance yourself from the creepy friend. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: This is a prime example of what happens when someone keeps pursuing you even when you make it clear they’re not into you in that way!
     
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  17. Koset

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Uk
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hello again!

    Right so this is crazy!
    As I've said before I had feelings for my friend Ben, and there was this guy that I opened up to a year ago (I'd call him adam), on some dating site just to see if my feelings are normal (that's before I realised this site exists) and that was a mistake. He was going crazy about me and I had to cut him off, as we were supposed to be friends but he couldn't keep his mouth shut and it turned out that he's in the same town as me, basically everyday and he knows people.

    Now I had to talk with him, as my best friend Ben is going out with his best friend, and we had all sorts of meetings where we had to tell this guy that there's no feelings, and it would never work, and that we can't even be friends because he gets mixed signals.

    So before I cut him off completely, he was telling me about a guy from same nationality as me, and he told me this guy was stalking him, and he showed me his profile on a dating website (badoo), and he was actually there, and he had him blocked on all social media.

    Because I've met this guy before, and my best friend is busy being with his girlfriend now, i though maybe I make new friends and ask this guy about what the Adam said.

    When I mentioned Adams name, he said he hasn't got a clue who that is etc. But we started hanging around, and Adam was always driving about seeing me with this guy and he was going crazy (thinking there's something going on between us, and Adam is not good enough) but anyway, I started hanging around with this guy, and we got on really good.

    He keeps telling me that his friends are asking why is he spending so much time with me, and i stayed over at his house after we met for 4 days, in his bed! Also he told me recently that he went on badoo and mistakenly chose that he's looking for both gender and he realised that guys were messaging him, and he used to take the piss out of them, and that Adam could be one of them.

    He recently opened up to me about his last and his ex gfs and the crazy nights he had with some girls. However he keeps mentioning that his friends are questioning our friendship, and his words were "im not gay, but even if i was thats none of their business ". He messages me quite a lot, and im not gonna lie, I do get along with him pretty well, and he made me forget about the feelings that I had for my best friend.

    I'm confused now if I should tell him, what I have had and how I actually know Adam (as I told him, I met him when my best friend got on with his girlfriend).
     
  18. Spartan 117

    Admin Team Full Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    731
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    Location:
    Isle of Wight, UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey,

    So I think I just about got your story straight - there are a lot of twists and turns! I’m glad you found a new friend, even if you did meet in a weird way.

    I’m very skeptical that people search for same gendered people on dating sites just “for the lols”, it is usually something you correct straight away if you’re not interested.

    However, I would say that you shouldn’t swap one complicated situation (like the one with your friend) for another. You’ve found yourself in another situation where you’re friendly with someone, wondering if something deeper could be going on. That’s not a nice position to be in.

    Personally, I don’t think you’d have much to lose by telling him that you’re questioning your sexuality and that’s how you met Adam. Your friend already knows the truth, Adam apparently tells everyone in town anyway, and your new friend seems okay with the idea. But ultimately that decision is up to you.

    Honestly, the fact you’ve met a new guy and you’ve moved on from your friend means that this isn’t just a one-time only thing. You have these feelings and that’s okay! Personally, I think if you want to date a man (nobody’s forcing you to do so, but if you do WANT that) then you deserve something a bit less complicated. Not every LGBT person is going to be as obsessed with you like Adam, and you shouldn’t have to agonise other whether a guy is straight or not. I’m not passing any judgement over the guy you’ve been spending time with, but I think you’d really benefit from meeting someone that you can be honest with from the start, and isn’t already involved in your friendship group.

    You’re still trying to figure things out, and that takes time- I’m not sure you need all this additional drama in your life!
     
    #17 Spartan 117, Jun 14, 2020
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2020
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