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I don't know if I'm just bad at this, or if it's my past haunting me.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Canterpiece, Nov 20, 2018.

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  1. Canterpiece

    Canterpiece
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    Personally, I think one of my greatest weaknesses is that I tend to see ill intent even when there is none. I have a tendency to assume that someone is being passive aggressive or condescending even when they are not. Which is odd because even when the words are coming from a trusted friend of mine my first instinct is to assume that they don't actually mean what they say. I'm not sure if I'm just bad at reading tone in general, or if this is more to do with my distrustful nature caused by my past experiences. Maybe it's a bit of both.

    Sometimes people get slightly annoyed when I ask how they meant certain things, because it implies that I think they could do something that mean and are appalled at such a suggestion because I should know them better.

    However, that's the thing, I know that chances are they probably don't mean it... but I still desire to ask because I want certainty.

    Any thoughts?
     
    #1 Canterpiece, Nov 20, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2018
    UMedusa likes this.
  2. weary

    weary
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    I used to do the same often and took it as the socially awkward part of me. Once I became more comfortable with myself those feelings and doubts minimized. I can't say they've gone completely, but I've learned to push them down until 1) either something factual comes to light or 2) the feeling goes away. You'll never have that certainty you look for because unfortunately we are not mind readers. You just have to focus on learning to trust and take people at their word until proven false.
     
    #2 weary, Nov 20, 2018
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