This is going to sound really pathetic. It's been around 3 or 4 years since I've actually had any real friends. Before that I really only had one, who I'd been best friends with since 3rd grade, and let's just say our friendship was largely dictated by her. We became friends by chance I guess, not because either of us really made an effort. Before that I'd maybe had a couple other friends. The point being, I wasn't socially adept as a child, and then from 3rd grade on I had one really close friend who was a bit manipulative. That leaves me with very, very few social skills and even less experience on how to make and maintain friendships. I don't know how to approach people, talk to people, form connections with people, or keep those connections with people. It doesn't help that I have social anxiety and depression. I constantly fear that people will judge me and I'm scared to make the first move on anything. In the past couple years my policy is to assume people don't want to talk to me unless they talk to me first, and then my conversational skills are shit... There's more but I'll spare you the details. Basically I'm pathetic. Anyways, right now, this leaves me very, very alone. My brother, who has been my best friend all my life, is going away to college and I will have no one at all and I'm scared to go back to school without him. I have literally no idea at all on how to even begin to try to create friendships. And even if I do manage to somehow make a friend, I don't know how to keep them from getting bored with me. I'm so scared. Just thinking about having to approach people makes me feel anxious. How will I ever make any friends? I don't want to go through junior year alone. I'm so scared. How do I approach people? What do I even say? How can I stop being so irrationally afraid that they hate me? What do I do?? :help:
You'll be able to make friendships don't worry. I'm just like you. Having depression, the anxiety when talking to others, fear of judgement, all of those things. I'm still having those problems but I'm trying to work it off. I'm trying to put my mind on I shouldn't care about what these people say about me because once I have graduated school, I won't have to see their faces again . Just try not to think about the hate & what others think. People move to another city or to another school all the time so you'll of course see some new people you haven't seen before so you should just try to socialize with them. Just ask them casual questions like what's their name, what they like, are they new to your school. You aren't alone on this don't worry, just try not to think about the hostility of others. I hope this helps & if you need anyone to talk to, I'm here.
I feel like you do all the time and constantly worry whether people find me boring or not. To combat it when I meet new people and start to talk to people I start asking questions like what do you like? What are your hobbies? What are your aspirations for the future? And so on. It can get quite a bit if conversation and really helps in forming the foundations of a friendship. Don't worry about people and what they think of you. If the person really wants to be your friend they won't care at all what your like. But good luck! （＾ｖ＾）
Joining clubs you enjoy can help. That way you know that you have at least one thing in common with that person. I used to have the same problem myself until just about 2 or 3 years ago. I was very socially awkward and approaching people and starting conversations was extremely difficult for me. I basically just made small talk with people and then moved on to better conversation. Talk about things like music, tv, hobbies even a class or teacher you both hate etc. It does take a lot of practice, but you'll get there. And just tell yourself: What is the worst that can happen? The worst that can happen is that the person you tried to talk to is an asshole, in which case that's their problem, or they are also socially awkward themselves, so they might not respond to you. In which case - great! You have something in common with them. Good luck
