I want to come out to my best fried but i dont know if i should or not. He says some homophobic thing sometimes but is very supportive of LGBT rights. He is getting suspicious about me not being straight because my lack of interest in getting a girlfriend and my somewhat feminine personality. I want to tell him on my own terms rather than being outed. What should i do?
Hi there! It all depends on how ready you feel. If you feel yes, it feels right to come out to him, try going for it. When you tell yourself: "I want to come out to [name]"; how do you feel? Your instincts are going to be your best guide. Given that you have mentioned he is supportive of LGBT rights, that would be a good indication that he would be supportive, and someone good to come out to, and have part of your support network. What kinds of homophobic remarks does he make?
He's going to find out or flat out ask sooner or later, unless you start pretending to like girls. You could just take the opportunity when he mentions something gay related, or bring it up in a way that's not dramatic or out of character. "Hey dude, i want to tell you something, i'm gay." The hardest is just getting it out there the first time. The shorter, the easier it'll be. Then if you want to talk about it more later or he does, you could always do that. I'd be interested to hear how this goes, if you could update. Hope it goes well!
Thank you for the advice! He makes a lot of gay jokes and makes fun of a gay person at our school, so i wasnt sure he would accept me. He really is a good friend though, so Im going to talk to him about it and see what he says. I will updat tommorow after school. Thank you once again for the support and advice.
Sounds like you are all ready to go. If he is a good friend, he should understand and perhaps knowing that he has a friend who is gay, might make him think twice about making gay jokes in the future. Hope your coming out to him will go well.
I just came out to my best friend who is a very homophobic. I wrote him a letter explaining everything like how long I have known and that it won't change anything between us. A letter helped me organize my thoughts and that way he could not interrupt me. We are going to talk about it this weekend when we go to the fair. The fact that he even wants to see me is more than I expected so people will surprise you.
Well, one of the benefits of a good sense of humour is that power of self-deprecation. A gay joke can still be funny as long as it's not horribly offensive, if you pay attention and watch the difference between hate and humour, you might be able to engender comfort while also reducing the frequency of the jokes. Keep us informed on what happens eh?
if your ready just tell him, it seems so hard but do it asap otherwise it will be harder and harder until you can't
I told him earlier today and im very happy i did, he was suprised and nervous at first but a few hours later he accepted it. I also told another of my friends today and he was comepletely supportive. It feels amazing that i can finally be myself around my friends. The next challenge is my mom. Thank you all for the advice and support, i wouldnt have had the courage to do this without you.
