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"I don't hate gay people, I just don't approve of their lifestyles."

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by SubZero, Jun 17, 2015.

  1. PatrickUK

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    They won't. You can argue with them until you are blue in the face, but they are so self righteous and beligerent that it will achieve nothing. Grin smugly, as you take satisfaction in the knowledge that the tide is turning against them. Their narrow minded attitudes will be washed away with it.
     
  2. wisefolly

    wisefolly Guest

    The other one that gets me is the "I don't understand it but..." usually said by a well meaning relative or friend before voicing support. So, cheers for the positive vibe but... really, you don't understand it? We're not a math problem that needs solving. Like the other examples above, a little substitution sheds some light on how silly this sounds.

    "I like chocolate, not vanilla."
    "I don't understand it, but I still love you."

    "I like pineapple on my pizza."
    "I don't understand it, but I still love you."

    "I like reading books that contain steampunk."
    "I don't understand it, but I still love you."

    "I like cats more than dogs."
    "I don't understand it, but I still love you."

    "The sun is a hot ball of gas in outer space."
    "I don't understand it, but I still love you."

    So even though (hopefully) they're being supportive, that first part still has a bite to it because they're essentially saying "I can't understand how you can be something I'm not." This is just a little less worse than saying "I don't agree with it but blah blah blah." Statements of simple facts should not be greeted with statements of non-comprehension.

    Sorry, kinda ranty here maybe but this has bugged me more than I realized.
     
  3. dwelefan

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    It makes my blood boil when I hear statements like the OP posted. I just don't understand what straights expect us to do. So we should ignore our attractions, go out and be with someone of the opposite sex that we are not attracted to , while they get to be with someone they are attracted to? How is that fair to the straight person that we would be with or us? Everyone deserves to be with someone who they are attracted to . God created attraction for a reason, right?
     
  4. DrinkBudweiser

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    I don't understand how you can't grab the concept of that. The definition of lifestyle is simply, "the way a person lives." How you live your life and what you choose to do is your lifestyle.
     
  5. BMC77

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    I really liked the "gay lifestyle" comments Chris Crutcher (YA novelist) made a few years ago:

    When I hear willfully uninformed people from the so-called right talk about the “gay lifestyle,” I automatically think, Get up, grab breakfast, go to work, try to live a meaningful life…JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! There is no gay lifestyle, people. There is only a forced secretive existence in response to “Christian” conservative bigotry. Lifestyle has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Should I be asked to “come out” as a heterosexual? “Hi. I’m Chris Crutcher. I do what is none of your damn business with women.”

    From Boy Scout "Leadership" - Author & Loudmouth, Chris Crutcher

     
  6. Austin

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    Personally I have no real issue with someone who does not believe in gay marriage or approve of the gay "lifestyle" -- so long as they can allow me to live my life as I please. However, that poses some obstacles when they wish to restrict marriage. Also, those types of people are very rarely the "live and let live" type.
     
  7. Awesome

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    With that one, I always like to make the argument that heterosexuals could get gay-married if they wanted. There is no special right.
     
  8. Fallingdown7

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    I find the word lifestyle hilarious in general. I'm a lesbian, yet single and celibate, so what gay lifestyle am I even living??
     
  9. MissBookworm

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    Here's how I always respond to those or similar ones. "The 9th commandment states, 'Thou shalt not lie.' Exodus 20:2-17. If marrying someone you don't love isn't a falsehood, I'm not sure what is. 'In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.' Ephesians 5:28.'"

    Beat them at their own game by quoting the bible. Since they've already said they believe being gay is a sin, show them that it is essentially a greater sin to pretend not to be gay when you really are. I'm pretty sure one of the FUCKING 10 COMMANDMENTS trumps Leviticus 18:22.
     
  10. TENNYSON

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    The problem is that the word "lifestyle" has very negative connotations when paired with the words "gay" or "homosexual". It has connotations of promiscuous sex, drug use, and overall debauchery and sin that make it very separate from the "proper lifestyle" you should be living.

    Additionally, it has connotations of it being a choice. Even gay people themselves use the term that way. "I'm gay, but I don't live the gay lifestyle", i.e. that they don't have promiscuous sex, use drugs, or engage in other debauchery.

    So yes, I have a problem with the term "gay lifestyle" and I understand other people who do too.
     
  11. Rainbows~Exist

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    Since when did we ask for your approval? *snaps fingers in 'z' formation and struts away*
     
  12. armydude

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    What those people are actually saying is "I do not like gay people". I would respect them more if they would be straightforward about how much of an asshole they are.
     
  13. randomly me

    randomly me Guest

    I know this phenomenon pretty good.
    Here in Germany it is somehow socially inappropriate to be against any kind of minorities due to historical reasons.If you have something against homosexuals then you are automatically viewed as someone uneducated ignorant violent and stupid.So statements like "i don't have anything against homosexuals but..." or "i don't have anything against immigrants but..." are often used and practically mean"i have something against homosexuals and this is why"
    While i certainty don't like it it is still very much preferable to open hate speech.
     
  14. Christiaan

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    To the first: I have friends who are heterosexual, and I value their support and encouragement.

    To the second: We seem to be marrying members of the same sex, anyway, with or without licenses.
     
  15. BMC77

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    But if we establish marriage equality (i.e. same sex marriage), straights will have the same right to marry someone of the same sex! No special rights that I can see.
     
  16. mangotree

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    Saying either of those things to someone susceptible (e.g. young or insecure) is flat out psychological/emotional/mental abuse.
     
  17. XenaxGabby

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    This. Thanks Tennyson:slight_smile: I wasn't sure on how to respond.
     
  18. iiimee

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    I know several people who think like this... it enrages me tbh. It's the whole "Love the sinner, hate the sin" idea... Listen, if my son raped and murdered some chick, I'd stop loving him. End of story. I won't just say "I love my son, but disapprove of his lifestyle". I am only comparing homosexuality to murder in this case because the same Christians and people who say this, compare homosexuality to murdering and robbing people. Like, either you like me and want to be around me, or you don't. Get off your pedestal and treat me like a god damn human being! ...I think I kinda let my personal emotions get mixed into my rant here, sorry. I'll shut up now.
     
  19. Hiems

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    :thumbsup:
     
  20. DrinkBudweiser

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    There's a fine line between not approving of someone's way of life and invading someone's way of life. I think the gay community as a whole desires so strongly to be accepted and loved by all, that we immediately become upset with anyone who doesn't see eye-to-eye with it. That's an issue. There are millions of consensual and non-violent things that people do, that many don't agree with: tattoos, promiscuous sex, polygamy, atheism, marijuana, gambling, etc. I'm sure you saw something in that list that you don't approve of, and that's ok. We as human beings are different, each with our own unique mindset.

    My mom has no problem with the fact that I'm gay, however, she completely fails to understand why I dress like a boy. She'll make comments sometimes about how she thinks I should still dress like a girl... I'm ok with that and I calmly put up with it, you know why? Because she unconditionally loves me and supports me in everything that I do.

    Moral of the story, not EVERYONE is going to support every aspect of your life. The world is way too diverse for that. If someone loves you, treats you right and cares about you and your well-being then that should be enough for you to tone-down your inner rage and let it go. If they aren't making an effort to stand in the way of your happiness, let it be. I think this is something that the LGBTQetc. community really needs to learn as a whole. It's fine to be upset when someone is invading your happiness, but if someone just doesn't agree with what you're doing... So what?