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I did it early

Discussion in 'Coming Out Stories' started by antisocialfalls, Jul 22, 2017.

  1. antisocialfalls

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    I was planning on coming out to my mom tomorrow (Sunday) but I saw the opportunity and just went for it. Here is what happened

    Me: mom, can I say something?
    Mom: sure
    Me: ok...
    Mom: ...
    Me: I'm transgender and agender which means I'm gender neutral
    Mom: are you? Ok
    Me: just don't tell dad or anyone I'm not ready for that
    Mom: sure baby

    And that was it. No questions. The topic just dropped. I'm feeling really buzzed and jittery. It felt like a lot of anxiety washed away but I still feel ready weird. Tomorrow I'm going to the mall to do some shopping so I hope stuff will be more natural by then.

    People say coming out will make you more comfortable, but I don't know what I feel and I'm sure it's not comfort. Is this normal?
     
    #1 antisocialfalls, Jul 22, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2017
  2. beenthrdonetht

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    No drama is a good start. But you know you dropped a bomb. Next time you see her say (with some humor) "So how much research have you done since then?" Because that's what people do nowadays. And she probably will get some reasonable information too, but she has to figure out how to map it to you.

    She cares about you and maybe knows more about you than you do yourself. (She has the outside perspective.) So give her a chance to be the good mom.
     
  3. Quantumreality

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    Congratulations antisocialfalls!:thumbsup:That was pretty painless. I'm so glad that your mom was accepting!:slight_smile:

    Sometimes, Coming Out on the spur of the moment can be one of the easiest ways to Come Out.
     
  4. antisocialfalls

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    I was too scared to talk to her more about the subject so I sent her an article I found online
     
    #4 antisocialfalls, Jul 25, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2017
    beenthrdonetht likes this.
  5. silverhalo

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    Congratulations :slight_smile:
     
  6. Saminthenile

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    Kind of had a same sort of "coming out" with my mom, even though it wasn't intentional, but she had the same sort of response, and I sort of felt the way you did.

    I spend a lot of time right now wondering what exactly my mom thinks the "x" on my driver's lisence means. I know what "Nonbinary" means to me, but what does it mean to her, and what does it mean for how she relates it to me. There's supposed to be a sense of relief that comes with unabashed acceptance, but it's bittersweet if the acceptance comes without true understanding, I think. It's hard to not feel just dismissed? "Oh that's nice sweetie ok" like you told ur mom that you decided to join chess club
     
    #6 Saminthenile, Aug 5, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2017
  7. Mirko

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    Congratulations on coming out to your mom! Your mom might ask some questions later on, or would want to have more information as it were. But it is a good sign that it went as it did. It might also take for you a bit of time to get used to being out to your mom, but over time, you will feel comfortable, and perhaps more relaxed about it too. :slight_smile: