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I did get it all

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Nickw, Jul 16, 2016.

  1. Adray

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    Nick - glad to hear it is going so well for you! Very happy for you and your wife.

    ---------- Post added 18th Jul 2016 at 10:40 PM ----------

    Godless, good job on coming out! I know I feel so much better after I've come out (even though I'm not fully out to everyone yet).

    A couple of thoughts on your post.

    I'm bi, too. Nick and I have similar orientations, from what I've read. I'm a little bit different in goals - I want to stay monogamous 100%. Just a personal choice for me, I know for plenty of bisexuals, non-monogamy is important and good. I think having threesomes and experimenting is taking the relationship to another level. It's not for me (although I fantasize about threesomes sometimes).

    TMI Alert, next paragraph:

    I do love the strapon play, though. My wife and I do that from time to time, and it is really good. Have you experienced a strapon encounter yet? I've done it with my wife and with a previous LTR GF. The two women were very different in how they approached it. The previous GF (this was over 20 years ago) was naturally dominant, and really kinky. She might have actually brought it up first after we figured out that I was bi, I don't remember now. Anyways, she loved it 100% from the get-go, it was a super turn on for her, and she would give it to me with gusto any time I was even halfway in the mood. LOL. My wife, on the other hand, was more hesitant to try it initially. She couldn't imagine herself doing it at first. I wanted to, obviously, and since I'm bi, she was game to try it eventually to make me happy. What helped was going slow with getting into it, letting her know that it's all good, it's okay and normal, eventually finding a couple of good DVD's with loving-relationship strapon play, and me eating a lot of pussy to make her happy and feeling kinky. LOL. The DVD videos were amazingly hard to find, good ones at least. So much of the strapon-play videos are more BDSM and negative/spiteful than I would ever care for. Let me know if you need any recommendations, but a good loving-oriented pegging video was helpful for my wife to see a woman taking her man in a loving way (I know that probably reads weirdly, but it's true).

    Sorry for the TMI, and the long post. I share this to say that I'm bi, I'm 48, and my wife and I enjoy some healthy pegging from time to time and have a blast. Hopefully that's maybe a little helpful to you or anyone else skimming this. Good luck!

    ---------- Post added 18th Jul 2016 at 10:44 PM ----------

    Godless, good job on coming out! I know I feel so much better after I've come out (even though I'm not fully out to everyone yet).

    A couple of thoughts on your post.

    I'm bi, too. Nick and I have similar orientations, from what I've read. I'm a little bit different in goals - I want to stay monogamous 100%. Just a personal choice for me, I know for plenty of bisexuals, non-monogamy is important and good. I think having threesomes and experimenting is taking the relationship to another level. It's not for me (although I fantasize about threesomes sometimes).

    TMI Alert, next paragraph:

    I do love the strapon play, though. My wife and I do that from time to time, and it is really good. Have you experienced a strapon encounter yet? I've done it with my wife and with a previous LTR GF. The two women were very different in how they approached it. The previous GF (this was over 20 years ago) was naturally dominant, and really kinky. She suggested it after I shared that I was bi. Anyways, she loved it 100% from the get-go, it was a super turn on for her, and she would give it to me with gusto any time I was even halfway in the mood. LOL. My wife, on the other hand, was more hesitant to try it initially. She couldn't imagine herself doing it at first. I wanted to, obviously, and since I'm bi, she was game to try it eventually to make me happy. What helped was going slow with getting into it, letting her know that it's all good, it's okay and normal, eventually finding a couple of good DVD's with loving-relationship strapon play, and me eating a lot of pussy to make her happy and feeling kinky. LOL. The DVD videos were amazingly hard to find, good ones at least. So much of the strapon-play videos are more BDSM and negative/spiteful than I would ever care for. Let me know if you need any recommendations, but a good loving-oriented pegging video was helpful for my wife to see a woman taking her man in a loving way (I know that probably reads weirdly, but it's true).

    Sorry for the TMI, and the long post. I share this to say that I'm bi, I'm 48, and my wife and I enjoy some healthy pegging from time to time and have a blast. Hopefully that's maybe a little helpful to you or anyone else skimming this. Good luck!

    ---------- Post added 18th Jul 2016 at 10:44 PM ----------

    Godless, good job on coming out! I know I feel so much better after I've come out (even though I'm not fully out to everyone yet).

    A couple of thoughts on your post.

    I'm bi, too. Nick and I have similar orientations, from what I've read. I'm a little bit different in goals - I want to stay monogamous 100%. Just a personal choice for me, I know for plenty of bisexuals, non-monogamy is important and good. I think having threesomes and experimenting is taking the relationship to another level. It's not for me (although I fantasize about threesomes sometimes).

    TMI Alert, next paragraph:

    I do love the strapon play, though. My wife and I do that from time to time, and it is really good. Have you experienced a strapon encounter yet? I've done it with my wife and with a previous LTR GF. The two women were very different in how they approached it. The previous GF (this was over 20 years ago) was naturally dominant, and really kinky. She suggested it after I shared that I was bi. Anyways, she loved it 100% from the get-go, it was a super turn on for her, and she would give it to me with gusto any time I was even halfway in the mood. LOL. My wife, on the other hand, was more hesitant to try it initially. She couldn't imagine herself doing it at first. I wanted to, obviously, and since I'm bi, she was game to try it eventually to make me happy. What helped was going slow with getting into it, letting her know that it's all good, it's okay and normal, eventually finding a couple of good DVD's with loving-relationship strapon play, and me eating a lot of pussy to make her happy and feeling kinky. LOL. The DVD videos were amazingly hard to find, good ones at least. So much of the strapon-play videos are more BDSM and negative/spiteful than I would ever care for. Let me know if you need any recommendations, but a good loving-oriented pegging video was helpful for my wife to see a woman taking her man in a loving way (I know that probably reads weirdly, but it's true).

    Sorry for the TMI, and the long post. I share this to say that I'm bi, I'm 48, and my wife and I enjoy some healthy pegging from time to time and have a blast. Hopefully that's maybe a little helpful to you or anyone else skimming this. Good luck!
     
  2. Adray

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    Sorry about the extra posts, I tried to edit, unsuccessfully.
     
  3. Nickw

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    Adray

    Just an interesting note. My wife considers my sexual relationships with men remaining monogamous. I didn't when I almost cheated. So, I considered it a breach in our monogamy. But, she sees a difference by her way of thinking. We have had some very long conversations about my sexuality, my devotion to her and what our marriage is.

    Every bisexual is different. I guess every person's sexuality is different. I absolutely lust for men but those urges would not be satiated by pegging. I am finding I have a very limited, but intense, desire for a type of bonding with a particular type of guy. I am turned on by very little else gay.

    That is what is so great about human sexuality!
     
  4. Nickw

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    Adray

    Just an interesting note. My wife considers my sexual relationships with men remaining monogamous. I didn't when I almost cheated. So, I considered it a breach in our monogamy. But, she sees a difference by her way of thinking. We have had some very long conversations about my sexuality, my devotion to her and what our marriage is.

    Every bisexual is different. I guess every person's sexuality is different. I absolutely lust for men but those urges would not be satiated by pegging. I am finding I have a very limited, but intense, desire for a type of bonding with a particular type of guy. I am turned on by very little else gay.

    That is what is so great about human sexuality!
     
  5. Godless

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    So much to answer and I have been busy for awhile. My bf's wife has been in the same boat as me and answered a lot of my questions. We've been talking for 4 days and I'm pretty convinced I'm pan. But also I love strapon sex but I hate bdsm. My wife couldn't wrap her head around that for awhile. Problem is she is too sick to really get into it. I'll explain more later.
     
  6. Nickw

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    Hey Godless

    It seems like you are really taking a look at your sexuality and orientation. That's really great. When I was going through something similar, I got into therapy with an LGBT friendly therapist to help me navigate the emotions and help be develop some clarity. I highly recommend that you do the same. Talking to friends is very valuable, for sure, but a therapist can help really getting to understand and accept your sexual orientation, desires and needs.
     
  7. CapColors

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    dude awesome all around
     
  8. prettypixie

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    You are very lucky to have such an understanding wife. Be careful in what you do!

    I just came out to my husband of almost 11 years last nught about my bisexuality. He was 100% okay with it because he already had a few inklings about it. I haven't fully accepted it myself yet so we haven't set boundaries for anything yet. Every marriage is different. Good luck.
     
  9. Nickw

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    thanks cap

    prettypixie

    congrats on coming out to your husband. My wife was clueless but is totally, strangely, positive about it. I will be careful. We have set limits and they are similar to what I desire in my fooling around so it is all good.

    You have lots of time to figure out what this means to your marriage. Take your time and have fun with this. My wife and I are having a blast with my revelation to her. This can be a good thing!
     
    #29 Nickw, Jul 21, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2016
  10. Godless

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    Sorry Nick for hijacking this. Thanks for all the help. I'll think about what you said, but I'm feeling a hundred times better than a week ago. I went from almost panicking to accepting that I'm queer. I love being queer. I love how much my life changed this past week. I know I'm still going to have trouble down the road, but I m ok with who I am. I just need more that one queer friend in real life. Shouldn't be too hard to find. I love the word queer too. Saying it cheers me up. I've been laughing at myself a lot lately. But I really appreciate all the help.
     
  11. Nickw

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    I am famous for hijacking threads. I don't consider any of these discussions about me. I have never had one conversation in my whole life that I did not learn something. So, never apologize to me for having an honest dialogue. Really!
     
  12. prettypixie

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    We have plenty of time :slight_smile: I'm just at the beginning.
     
  13. purplewolf6

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    I'm bisexual too and I'm amazed some of your wives are alright with strap on play and/or an open relationship to help fulfill your sexual needs. Think if I did date a woman I'd still be hesitant to do strap on play but it could be fun. Same with an open relationship regardless what gender I'm dating along with others I'm fooling around with. Interesting stories keep em up and wish everyone here loves and accepts not just their partner but themselves too.
     
  14. Nickw

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    Purple wolf

    I was monogamous with my wife for 33 years. So, I agree that having a relationship where you are committed to one person is great. But my wife and I have grown together and our bond is very strong. So, providing me this freedom to sexually explore my gay is a gift. My wife knows it will make me a better person.
     
  15. baristajedi

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    Nick, sorry I'm late to this post, this is such awesome news!!! Congrats to you!!!
     
    #35 baristajedi, Jul 22, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2016