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i cant do this anymore

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Kayla123, Mar 15, 2019.

  1. Kayla123

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2018
    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Massachusetts, US
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    my dad is a lost cause: "anyone who accepts you [as being trans] does not love you and are not your friends and will watch the destruction of your soul" "im sorry that i could not help you as a father because you couldn't accept me" (saying that while not accepting me)
    my mom, on the other hand, finally accepts that im trans... but... not in the way i expected... and... it kinda hurts me.
    i told my mom i was sure im trans, she asked if i was going to grow up and leave the house and become "kayla," i said yes because she was crying and i didnt want to make her upset because she "just wanted [me] to have a happy childhood" and i told her i was fine.
    this morning, she returned to continue and said that, even if i were to go on and be "kayla," she wanted me to spend as much time with them as i could as "caleb." she doesn't understand my intense want and need to transition early to make it more natural and cost less because we don't have much money... but... i don't want to tell her that i intensely want and need that, as it could upset her, or mess up the family, or anything else, i just... don't want to mess up... but... i still want to transition early... i cant keep living as "caleb" with my stupid religious father... it hurts too much...
     
  2. Pattern

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2019
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    So, from your parents point of view, they have known you as Caleb your whole life. They brought you into this world, raised you (I assume), and as a parent myself, I believe they probably want the best for you. It may be that they need time to understand. There's always a chance they may never accept this, but they are still your parents. Its a difficult situation with religion involved as well because it is an engrained belief. It's who they are, similar to who you are. Best I can give you is to do your best to understand their side and opinions while holding true to yourself.