I don't know why but I'm really struggling with accepting myself. I just wish I was hetero. I can't see me in a happy futur. But I just feel bad to not accept myself because everyone around me doesn't care. My friends accept me better than me. And my lgbt+ friends accept themselves better than I accept me. Or maybe they just don't talk about it. I don't know. Why do I block so much ? Why I just can't stop hating who I am ? When I'm starting to understand myself I begging to hate me. I shouldn't, it's not healthy to react that way. I feel like I can't have a good futur and somehow I always thought I had to have a good one. Maybe because my parents aren't really happy and I should do justice, I'm their only child and it would be unfair if everyone in the family wasn't really happy. I know it makes absolutly no sense, I know lots of people like me are happy, I know I don't have to be happy if my parents are not, I know but I can't help but feel that way. I'm tired of me. I'm always scared to meet people who will hate me for who I am but I'm the only one doing that.