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I came out to my mother last night

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Silveroot, Aug 10, 2018.

  1. Silveroot

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    So last night I found the right opportunity to tell my mother I'm no longer confused about my orientation, I'm gay. And told her a few things about how I made sure and I tried to be straight or bisexual but it wasn't who I am.

    She told me she has never seen me so sure of anything before and that she always knew. She just wished I didn't have to be gay because it would make my life easier if I wasn't. She assured me she loved me. Although she still hopes I get over it.

    I'm happy I did it. Things will get better now.
     
    #1 Silveroot, Aug 10, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2018
  2. tystnad

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    Congrats! That’s a big step you took, and it sounds like it worked out quite well. Sometimes the best we can wish for (unfortunately) is being loved even if people don’t fully understand, accept or support who we are. Hopefully, as time passes, she’ll get used to the idea and will understand that you can’t choose this and that even though being straight in this society is easier, being gay does not mean you’re bound to be unhappy. Either way, coming out isn’t easy and this is definitely something to be proud of! You did that!
     
    #2 tystnad, Aug 10, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2018
  3. Silveroot

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    Thanks! She seems normal today and kept telling me that she loves me even though she says she'd prefer it if I was straight, because I wouldn't have to deal with scorn and all the jazz that comes with living in a fairly conservative, patriarchal and homophobic country.

    Today she surprised me because she suggested I should experiment to 'make sure'. Sometimes people can surprise us I guess.
     
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  4. NickiFire

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    Silveroot I'm so so happy for you!! That's funny, I just told my dad a week ago that I'm not bisexual, I'm gay. He supported me as well, though he is trying too hard to keep me from getting hurt, by telling me to try and keep it to myself, etc. But he loves me no matter what and that's what matters :slight_smile: I just wish he'd realize that he can't keep me from getting hurt, but he can be there for me and lift me back up when I do. Baby steps, I guess. So glad that we're both getting more in tune with ourselves and progressing on this wonderful journey :slight_smile: Congrats on your big step forward!!
     
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  5. Quantumreality

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    Hey @Silveroot ! Congratulations! :slight_smile:That took a LOT of courage!

    As far as your mom's (and @NickiFire 's dad's) concerns go, that is just completely natural. No honest parent wants anything but the best for their children. From what you've both said, your parents aren't really concerned about your sexuality - they just want you to live a happy life.

    Take that at face value and just focus on being 'you'.
     
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  6. Silveroot

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    @tystnad Thank you! I guess that's what my mother's mostly worried about, that I won't be happy that way.

    Hey @NickiFire! Congratulations for coming out to yourself and your father! Honest self-reflection is hard work. My mother reacted just like your father did. I guess it's a normal parent reaction to want to protect their children from any harm. I'm so happy for you!

    You're right @Quantumreality, it took a lot out of me until I got to the point of coming out to my mother, but most of the work involved coming out to myself. It bugged me for years to be honest. I didn't know why I was so weird when it came to dating men or why I only crushed on unavailable men. I was also way too ashamed to admit I saw women in a romantic and sexual way.