A week ago, my mom point blank sat down and asked me if I was gay for the tenth time. I decided it was time to tell her. She told me that she loves me but she thinks this is a choice and not something I was born with. She then cried for two hours straight and I didn't know how to help her. She told me my eighty year old great aunt will never accept me but if I don't tell the family that I'm gay, then she will. She blamed herself saying it's her fault I'm screwed up. She's said I need to go back to church and get on Gods path. She then said she would tell my great aunt just so she would give me a firm talking too. She told me that if this was the life I was going to live, then she was going to put me to my entire family whether I was ready or not and she told me that while they act like they accept gay people, they will make me the outcast of the family . This was extremely hurtful because I'm actually very close to my family. I feel like she told me all of this just so I would say I'm straight. She's also putting blame on my best friend who is bisexual by saying that she "made me turn gay." The next morning i went downstairs to get coffee and she's barely spoke to me, not unless she had to which she had to borrow my charger so that's the only thing she's said to me. I didn't even know what to say to her. She said she's glad I told her but then she said so much hurtful things. I'm feeling very alone right now. I just don't know what to think. So two days went by and she didn't say anything about it. Then Friday morning, she brings up the fact that I'm gay again. She basically told me that she didn't know where I learned that there was an option between dating a man or dating a woman but dating a woman isn't an option. She told me that I need to put the thought of men and only men in my head and force myself to only like men. She also told me that if my grandmother were still alive, she would be disgusted by me. My grandmother and I were best friends so she knew saying that would kill me. She then gave me a lecture about how God made women to be with men, not women to be with women. She ended to conversation by saying by not telling her I was gay sooner, I've been lying to her and it's a huge character flaw on my part. I didn't tell her I was gay sooner because this is the reaction I was afraid of. Oh and she also said while she fully supports her gay friends, she can't accept her child being gay because it is unacceptable. She then told me to force an attraction towards men. After that, I made the decision not to come out to my dad. My parents are divorced and my dad disowned his own brother before I was born because he was gay. I thought my mom would be more accepting because she has friends who are gay and she seemed very supportive but not with me. I was hoping I would at least have one parent that accepted me but after how my mom has treated me because I'm gay, I'm definitely not telling my dad. So then Friday evening, things got weird. After she said all of those hurtful things, she came up to my room and said "are you ok? I haven't seen you all day?" I just gave her a half smile and said, "I'll be ok." Then she said, "The dog and I are watching Christmas movies downstairs, come watch them with us." I just said "ok" but it was just weird. I watched a movie with her and everything seemed fine. Then, yesterday morning, she told me the night before since we're having a New Year's Eve party at our house, she would have to get me up early to help her clean the house. I woke up at 10:00 and went downstairs and said to mom, "I thought you were going to get me up early this morning, normally you would have." She smiled at me and said, "I know but I came in at 7:00 and you were in a deep sleep so I figured I would let you sleep in. How'd you sleep?" Then we started talking and laughing as if everything was normal. Maybe after I stayed in my room unless I needed food, she realized that she hurt me. So I thought everything was fine, then last night happened. After her actions last night, I think she thinks this is just a phase and that I will one day like men. We went to this New Years party at a local restaurant. My mom kept pointing out every guy in the room and asked me what I thought of him. I just kept giving her a look and didn't respond. Then she pulled our waiter over and started asking him very personal questions like how old he was and how long he has lived in this town. He revealed his age and when he walked off, my mom looks at me and said, "He's only fourteen years older than you and I think he thinks you're cute." I told her he was too old for me and she said, "My best friend married a man sixteen years older than her." Then she started saying that he looked like Justin Timberlake (The only male I've ever had a crush on. Now I realize I was never sexually attracted to him, I was attracted to his personality.) I just looked at her and said, "Eh, I don't really see it.) Then she went to the restroom and when she came back, the waiter came out a few minutes later and wouldn't stop touching my back or my shoulders. I will give the benefit of the doubt and say there was a live band so maybe I didn't hear him so he was trying to get my attention to ask if there was anything I needed but he hadn't done that the whole night, then all of a sudden mom gets up to use the restroom and he comes out and starts touching me, I don't know, it was weird. Anyway, I think my mom thinks this is just a phase and that I'll one day like men. I really don't know how to think or feel. Why would you ask your child if they are gay then when they tell you, you freak out? I love my mom but the way she has acted to me being a lesbian has hurt so much. She once told me that if I told her I was gay then she would get therapy to help her come to grips with it. Now she's telling me I'm the one that needs to change.