I came out to mom on friday and she's not taking it well...

She has been force-fed lies her entire life, probably. I don't think you can make her accepting of LGBT+ people just like that.

My advice would be to remind her of the love of her son. What is more important to her, you as a person or your homosexuality. You're her child, so unless she's a heartless monster (sorry), you matter more to her than your homosexuality.
And if she'll accept you, that might also make her gradually become more accepting of LGBT+ people in general.

I saw a great, mature and compassionate way to deal with prejudice from parents in a thread the other day, though this was more about gender than orientation. Here it is, it might help you with inspiration: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/182126-my-coming-out-letter-please-read.html

*hugs*

 

Being gay is not a psychological disorder. You can easily find literature from the American Psychological Association which clearly states this. If she starts in on that line of baloney, show her the literature and tell her, "If I ain't broken, nobody needs to try and fix me."

No reputable psychologist is going to try and "fix" your being gay. If she is threatening to take you to someone who is, they are either a charlatan or some religious nut case trying to "pray away the gay". Don't do it.

 

Hang in there! She sounds like she'll eventually come around to it. My half brother (we share a dad, but have different mums) came out as gay to his mother and my dad when he was about 17. He's not overly close to my dad, but my dad and mum (his step mum) both supported him from the start. My dad was a little shocked at first, but didn't let my brother see that. His mother on the other hand refused to talk to him for a a while. When they did start talking again, she refused to meet any of his boyfriends. As the years have gone by she's gotten more and more accepting.

Give her time to get over the shock factor. Don't go to counselling or do anything you don't want to do, but try to patient with her for now. I know it must be hard, but try and find the humorous side to it. And maybe find a pamphlet online about std's for her, because it sounds like she needs to be educated on that. Everybody who has sex can get std's, no matter who they're having sex with.

Well done on coming out and being brave enough to go through this with her!

 

It's a good idea for her to watch Prayers for Bobby. If watching that won't change her mind, then I don't know what will, honestly.

I don't know if arguing about the fallacies behind gay sex = sin is worth it. Normally I would ask why people aren't following the other passages from Leviticus, i.e. no tattoos, no shellfish, no football. There's no other explanation but bigotry. However, I think pointing this out will antagonize her more, given that she seems so set in her ways. On the other hand, maybe she might change her mind once she sees this perspective. It's your call as to whether you want to bring that up.

Perhaps you can direct her to local PFLAG chapters. I would suspect that parents who are accepting of their LGBT kids, but still need guidance from others, would attend PFLAG meetings. And so since your mom isn't accepting, she might not be ready to go for the PFLAG meetings. But it still would be worth a shot encouraging her to attend, as dealing with kids coming out is something that other parents who've been there can help her with.

 

Hang in there. You need to remind her that you being gay has nothing to do with going to her concept of hell, which you don't even believe in. Also, sorry if I'm being blunt, but its kinda none of her business. Its your life, and her narrow mindedness shouldn't restrict you from being you, which It doesn't seem like is happening, which is good. You shouldn't have to defend yourself from being gay, thats like defending yourself against someone talking shit about your favorite food, why the hell do they care? Its your life not hers.

And if this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kinSS1P1T4Y is the video your talking about than I definitely think you should show her it, it may show her there is more to being LGBT+ than kinky sex.

 

Instead of her taking you to a psychologist to get "fixed", someone needs to be taking her to a psychologist to get fixed. Religion can drive some people to a kind of insanity, where they reject the real world they live in, in favor of some kind of fantasy world based on some "bible", whether it is the King James Christian bible, or something as bizarre as L Ron Hubbard's "Dianetics". Most people can separate their daily lives and relationships from their interpretation of what they think biblical scriptures are telling them to do. They get the message of treating others decently and fairly and recognize that being gay is just the way some people are born, and that "normal" behaviors for them may differ from the behaviors (i.e. "lifestyles") of heterosexuals. Then there are those who key in on some phrase or phrases, such as those in Leviticus, without any real understanding of the context and ignorance at the times they were written. Christians should remember that Jesus Christ said nothing about homosexuality in their bible. What little was said was written by others, not Jesus, and a lot of it makes no sense in our current context and times.

 

You're very brave for coming out to her like that. I hope your mom doesn't try to "fix you" by putting you in therapy. Being gay or bi is not a mental disorder. This has already been proven. Just give her some time. She's probably in a lot of shock right now. But do remind her that nothing about you has really changed. You're still the same person you were before.

 

Not trying to be too blunt, just logical, so I don't mean to offend you. But if being gay is a sin and divorcing is a sin, which sin is worse and why? If they are equivalent, then why should she be worried about your sins more than about hers?

 

My mother is a German Catholic. When I told her I was gay, she went along with it for a while, until she decided that my girlfriend and I had been going out for long enough and it was time to "Stop this foolishness" and decided that if I didn't stop "acting like a whore" I was going to go to hell and there was nothing anyone could do for me, so in a sense, I understand what a religious anti-gay mother can be like. I don't know what you're mother is like, but I know mine will never change her mind about something once she has decided it "goes against god." I ultimately had to give my mother and ultimatum, either accept me for who I am and be in my life, or never speak to me again. It didn't work so well, since she tried to "talk some sense in me" and I wasn't having it. I haven't spoken to my mother in over 2 years. My point is, you know your mother better than anyone, and you have to make it perfectly clear that this is who you are. If she can't accept you, that's her problem! Not yours!

---------- Post added 9th Jul 2015 at 05:15 AM ----------

He's right. It says in the bible if a woman divorces a man, she is to be stoned.

 

10% of all people are going to be gay regardless of what happens in their lives. No one would ever chose to be gay in Saudi Arabia for example.

Sorry you've gotta go through this mate