Hey everyone! I need to vent about this because no one in my real life knows about this (I hope) or ever will (I hope). So there's this bi girl, I'd say she's slightly more straight-leaning than gay-leaning, and she's one of my best friends. So far, so good. Then recently, it became apparent that she had a crush, but she wouldn't say who it was on. Okaaaaay. In a moment of irrational impulsiveness I asked her (over text, no less) to date me. She was like no I wouldn't date you. I sure hope I haven't destroyed a friendship here. I wasn't even crushing on her that hard and now I'm looking back like what did you do? What did you do that for? Why did you do that? Ugh. And my brain keeps playing worst-case scenarios and depressing stuff on a loop. I should never have done this but it's an interesting life experience that everyone has to go through at some point I guess. /rant
Well this is just the right place to vent. We feel your pain. Heh, more than we'd like to maybe, it is sooo hard to deal with. Because your brain just keeps on thinking about it. I wouldn't say you should never have done it, I would even say it's good you did. Wrong outcome yes, but that's not your fault. How long has it been since you got the no message? That friendship could still be going strong. Who knows what's going through her mind now? You can still save the friendship by just saying hey, we're still friends, right? But I think you need to vent more. Do you have a neutral friend who could listen?
Yeah, I think the friendship is okay-- we've talked generally since and I think there's a mutual unspoken agreement to never, ever drag this up again. Not going to talk to anyone IRL for fear of it getting out to everyone. The initial what-have-I-done-my-life-is-in-ruins feelings have faded. All is well, or at least, as well as it can be! I shall simply live with the embarrassment for the foreseeable future, and that's okay.
Your thinking is already getting much healthier. Negative thoughts only destroy yourself. I hope you don't beat yourself up too badly. Love given is often returned, so don't give up on that. If she won't date you, you can still turn it around into a sincere compliment-- that you think she is a cool person and a great friend, and you'd hate to lose that over a little embarrassment.
