I don't know what to do. I'm not at a crossroads I'm just lost. I recently told my wife about two years ago. That I wanted to be a woman. I love her, I am attracted to her and I've told her so. But when she sees me or I talk about anything like that she basically basically disgusted with me.. I am very lucky. My face is very very feminine I've been mistaken for a girl my whole life. My body though is wrong when I see it it makes me feel so ashamed and litterally physically sick. I used dug big scars into my arms and back. I manged to stop this behavior with much effort. All of these things make. Body I hate. My wife started sleeping with someone else, and I found out about it. It hurt me so much and does every second. But I told her it was OK that we are still a family and I understand that she doesn't want to touch me or be with me. My life isn't a mess though everything is very under the surface. I'm a very easy going problem solving person so I can accept just about anything. I don't have anyone in my family I can talk to about this now, because of my wife's reaction she was my best friend and I don't even know why I told her. It might not seem like it now but I'm good with my words usually so I have built this little side world I can life in as a women with strangers some. I'm at this point where I want to be better I don't want to be sad anymore. I can afford to transition and I recently told my self that I should work on my physical image or 6 months before deciding whether to start hrt. Everyone will will be against me and I have a daughter who I am the caregiver for 80% of the time. I am scared. I don't know what I should do. And honestly I don't know if I have the strength to do the things I want to do I don't want to be left all alone. I don't know why I made an account just to write this post I guess.
Hi! I came here a year ago after spilling my guts to my wife too. Some of the details of my story were similar to yours, others not. You made such a good choice by coming here. There are some unbelievably kind humans here, with an incredible wealth of life experience. This place is a great place to vent, and you will always find support. The one thing I’ve found to be pretty true is that being open about gender is scary and hard in the moment but deeply beneficial I. The long run. This is true of being open in general. So, posting here means you’re already doing some of the things you need to do. Don’t stop here though. I’m seeing a therapist about my own issues and would recommend it to anyone. I’m grateful to the people here who urged me into it. I’m glad I listened. If that’s not an option, well, you’re here now. You have people. The answers will come.
gender doesn't define all of your existence but only a partial of you, in marriage both person should understand each other meantime be free to choose, I think so.
when I want to be someone who I'm not I become very nervous, instead while I am myself I feel free, you have a hard and unbelievable situation, I'm so sorry!
